Fall Back

Don't lick any treats until they are "Checked Out" Hope your last day of OCTOBER is a grrrreat one.

See, I live way out in the country where no one does Trick or Treat.

And another one bites the dust.

These are two of my favorite bird feeders. I like standing on the "slab" and teasing the birds when they want seeds and suet. I KNOW... it is kind of mean of me to bully the birdies. I don't do it for very long, though. I may try to give this behavior up for... Christmas.

It's that Pawful time of year again (already?) for the two leggers to turn their clocks all back one hour. I hate it when it gets dark at 5:30. I miss the sunshine and long warm days of summer.

I want to wish you all a very very Happy Halloweiner Day. BOOOOOO

Don't forget the warnings. Have your two leggers check all your treats for things you shouldn't have to eat or play with.

I'm going to Tank's party. He says that he will have something for everyone. I know it will be something grrrreat because TANK is Grrrreat.

I am going to have to think of some way to get back at that mean ol' Grinch for making us suffer for all those years when he held my blog hostage and made threats at you.

Be safe if you are going trick or treating. We will get an extra hour of sleep at least. I can sure use it.

2nd Post for Today !

Life is goooood when your blog is under control.

A big Howl-o-ween lick for all of you.

I sure was "STUMPED" by my blog troubles.

Happy Halloweiner to you ALL !!!!

Hi AGAIN Everybuddy,

I was so very much excited to finally be back on my blog that... well I guess I got all carried away and FORGOT some important things.

First... my dad and Gizmo's dad cut trees down yesterday. I guess I will have to call this my Not so Thick THICKET now. I wanted you to see how hard I made them work. Mom used this tree stump to take a NEW Picture of me wishing you all a Happy HALLOWEINER !!!

That is a picture of a card that I got from my furends Bacall, Austin J. & Atticus Finch. When the Howl-o-day is over mom can take the dachshund off and put it on the fridge. Isn't that cool. hehehe

Remember: Have your two leggers check your TREATS. Don't eat: chocolate, raisins, grapes, onions, garlic, potatoes, ... gee, I sure hope no one puts VENISON on that list.

Thanks again for all your support during the recent GRINCH attack on me and on my blog.

I don't know what I would have done without you all. We four leggers do stick together.

PeeS I'm going to Tank's Party tomorrow !!! Can't wait Can't wait Can't wait.

OMD OMD OMD It's ME Frankie Furter

Hey everybuddy, it really is ME... Frankie Furter. I can't believe that I am finally back on my blog. It seems like FOREVER since I have been able to post.

I had no idea what had actually been going on. It wasn't until I came in from my morning work (beclaws it is a sunny 70 degrees today) and had my lunch and nap that I decided to check my blog.

No wonder I couldn't get on. That mean old Jim the Grinch Guy had taken over my blog. I am shocked that he was sooooo nasty to all of YOU. I didn't know he would be like that with other four leggers.

I want to thank all of you for your wonderful comments to "him" when you all must have been tricked into believing that Rodents had taken over my blog.

That Grinch is really crafty. I guess I can't trust him at all. I THOUGHT that he had gone away for a few days and then CAME HOME SICK. You won't believe this, butt I ACTUALLY felt sorry for him because he wasn't feeling good. HA. I won't fall for that one EVER AGAIN !!

What an awful nasty Cat Fart he is. He wanted to make us ALL miserable for days and days and days.

I don't know how he managed to get control of my blog, BUTT I'll bet I find out and... put a dirty butt scooter GRINCH block on it.

Thanks again to everybuddy for trying to help me with my PROBLEM.

My Treat was YOUR Trick

Okay it is finally here.... MY BIG DAY !!! Trick or Treat. I got the treat YOU all got the TRICK. ESPECIALLY Frankie Furter.

I fooled you all (you dogs are sooo easy).

Hello

this is

Jim the GRINCH GUY.

I took over Frankie's blog

I drove him "nuts" and

SCARED all of you FURLESS!!!

This is the BEST

HALLOWEEN HOWL

I

have ever

had !!!

I turned the tables on all of you. Now you KNOW what

the DINKY DACHSHUND

HAS TO PUT

UP WITH.

I will turn the blog block off

after I post this.

The "little farter"

will now be

able

to

see

the true

power of the

GRINCH !!!

Take over time is almost here !

Calling ALL Rodents. Calling ALL Rodents. Our time of great VICTORY is near.

Get out your Acme Co. Dogalogs and your secret DECODERS. Begin on Page 5. Your instructions will be clear. Your missions will be layed out for you. The Day and Time for ATTACK are spelled out. Confuse the k-9's with your camouflage STUFFIES.

FOLLOW ALL INSTRUCTIONS AND WE CAN NOT FAIL.

Victory WILL be YOURS!!!

The TYRANTS ARE ABOUT TO BE VANQUISHED!!!

RODENT RANGER HIGH COMMAND.

Rodent Rage

We will be on a TOP SECRET mission on Oct. 27th. so we have made OUR POST early. We WILL still be able to monitor and RESPOND to YOUR foolishness. Big Buggsy Bunny WILL be watching. No use trying any of you "tricks". Our day is near, Dawgdom should fear.

Poor Little Frankie Furter. He can't get on his Bloggie. He is OUT IN THE COLD... WITHOUT A CLUE. LOL LOL HA HA HA HA hehehe teeehee teeeheeeeeeee

Our DEMANDS......................... We are tired of all the sill Jokes like " what are a rabbit's favorite veggies?? Lettuce Turnip and Pea" BOOO HISS such childishness.

The CONSTANT harrassment of our roddent relatives MUST STOP !!!

IF it doesn't... we will take over all the factories that make kibbles and treats !!!

Let's see how you like living without things like... stupid BLUE HIPPO "cookies".

It will be an all out take over.

think.... NO more ....BULLY STICKS, COW HOOVES, GREENIES, SWEET POTATO CHIPS, OR RAWHIDE.

Gen. Mick E. Mouse, Rodent Ranger

the DACHSHUND's having a DOWN DAY

YEP you heard it right. Dumb Dumb the Dachshund is suffering from a serious case of
EMOTIONAL DIARREHA. His little thoughts are turning to slime. He is beside himself trying to get his BLASPHEMOUS BLOG to work for him. Not going to happen. He can't sleep and can hardly eat. We wish you could see this. The Panic Furter is starting to waste away to nothing (which isn't much different than before our attack began). He is even starting to loose his stupid fuzzy fur. It is a BEAUTIFUL thing to behold. Why??? You ask WHY we are finally ready to put a stop to all your hateful ways???

We, the Rodent Rangers are sick and tired of all other species belittling us!!!

We are sick of you and your two leggers ENJOYING out pain.
We want NO MORE POEMS ABOUT:

SERIAL SLASHING FARM WIVES CUTTING UP OUR VISUALLY IMPAIRED RELATIVES.

YOU ARE ALL A BUNCH OF SICKO MEANER WEINERS.

Soon Soon Soon you'll all be crying in your kibbles (khrying in your khibbles, for the Khyra followers).

Rodent Ranger Branch Commander Pete R. Rabbit

Neener Neener NEENER

COMMANDER McNUTT OUT FOR SOME PHYSICAL CONDITIONING.
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>


WE'RE HERE and HE'S NOT!!!
COMMANDER McNutt has instructed us too let you read our:

Fight Song !!!

Fight the dawgs across the field, show THEM the RODENTS are here.

Send the Earth reverberating with OUR mighty CHEER!

RAH RAH RAH !

Hit them hard and see how they SQUALL.

Never let dawgs play with a ball.

Hail Hail the troops are here, and the VICTORY over dawgs is NEAR.

GO BUCKy Teeth

The Weiner is already whining and whimpering. He can't figure out why he can't get on his silly little DAWGIE BLOGIE. Poor little "Spankie Farter". He is even more clueless than the rest of you!!!

FROM: the RODENT RANGERS

Coming after YOU !!

HILARIOUS... What fun we had tricking the "weenie".

He had no clue what was REALLY under these "stuffie" camo outfits.

While the dumb dachshund was worried about some minor excavations and purloined seeds...

FEAR THIS...

NEENER neener NEENER

WE... The Rodent Rangers were preparing for all out attacks from coast to coast and our... "neighbors" to the NORTH and South. No Dawg will be spared.

Keep your eyes on the skys. Don't bother to look for any Eagle Beaked Beagels in Sopwith Camels either. Rodent Ranger Ariel Assults will be conducted by Rocket J. "Rocky" Squirrel. You had all better be wearing Crash Helmets if you want to protect your tiny PEA brains from falling sticks, nuts, and branches.

Tiny Tank... your "two cents" won't be nearly enough to bail you out now. Rodent Rangers are out to S P A N K the TANK !!!

Frankie Mae... that spray won't keep US away, you're gonna "pay".

Hey Norwood, we're gonna get you "good".

Twix your chair may need a big FIX.

Khyra might just find her... "drive by window" closed for business.

Nigel... do you recall "Mr. Stick" ????? He is one of our BEST friends.

Sola... we're WORSE than Ebola.

Mona, we can get you when we wanna.

PeeWee, keep your eye on that "tree".

Oscar, Tinkerbell, and Tucker are out of Lucker.

Sadie is going to be a 'fraidy.... SOON !!!

Those Canadian "Doxies" better gather some MOXIE. The Acme Co. is running a BOGO... Bite One, Grab One sale.

Mango will be doing a Hot Paw Tango.

Star and Riley... you won't be so "smiley".

Lorenza's dresses will soon be "messes".

Marge, prepare for the "charge".

As Khyra would say.... KHaos is KHoming to Dawgdom.

<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

from: Rodent Ranger High Command

We are in charge now

Our Stuffie Camo disguises. Used to lure the 'FURTER' into OUR fake business... The Acme Co..

High commander McNutt tricking the Furter and his Pontoon Crew into thinking he was a poor helpless creature.

The Furter's crazed crew were so fooled by High Commander McNutt's ploy that they wasted hours of cruise time following him. They actually believed that McNutt might have been training for the Olympics. We chattered so hard over that one that we nearly laughed our tails off. You foolish ones.... do you actually believe that YOUR Commander Tank with his outdated "weapon" is any match for US.... Tisk Tisk

This is NOT that Frankie FARTer. He is totally blocked out of this blog.

We are your worst nightmare. The Rodent Rangers have taken control, and we have gnawed into his list of FAVORITES. We know who you are and how to get to you. The Rodent Rangers are under the command of General McNutt. The general began his tactical work waaaay back this summer when he launched his FAMOUS Pontoon Raid. It seemed sooooo innocent, didn't it !!!!

Don't plan on hearing anything from the FRANKEN FARTER on this blog. It is OURS now.

The Rodent Rangers

REVENGE OF THE RODENTS

HA HA HA While the dumb dachshund was outside... WE were INSIDE showing the DAWG that WE can BLOG !!!! HE HE HE heheheheheheh.

This has been the most fun ever !!! We are now RICH and FREE. The FURTER hasn't caught on yet... the ACME CO. actually belongs to.... RODENT RESOURCES, INC..

The stupid dawg actually thought that those silly machines would catch a rodent..... HE HEHEHE hehehe hehe hehehehe he he he
Our teeth are chattering just thinking about it. he hehe he he he hehe he
A dawg and its money are soon parted. There's one born every day.

neener NEENER nEeNeR ! ! HA HA ON THE FURTER.
NUTS to you !!
Have fun trying to get onto your BLOG you foolish DAWG. WE have filled it up with nuts and seeds and used our big teeth to chew into your silly blog. It'll take you days to get back in again. Neener NEENER Neener !!!
The RASCALLY RODENTS !!!

Dachshund Daze of Fall

I told you I was going to be out all day yesterday. I even made mom put my lunch and drinks out on the deck. What fun I had. I made mom and dad do their work. They had to split and stack a truck load of wood. Of course I did have to snoopervise them a little bit. That WOOD WORK.. kept them out of MY way for 3 whole hours. It was grrrreat. UNTIL>>>

I found some Tulip bulbs that were not planted in a very much good place...SOOOO I got them all dug up and was just starting to carry them to a better place when SHE butted in. I wish you could have heard HER. SHE just couldn't mind her own busyness and let me tend to MINE. NOPE Not my MOM. She had to jump in and snatch all the bulbs and start putting them back in the WRONG PLACES.... AGAIN. WELL, I hope SHE'S happy NOW.
I checked every one of my Acme Co. conTRAPtions about 200 times. They were all EMPTY, every time I looked. I am beginning to think that the Acme Co. is a RIP OFF.
I chased a squirrel, and 3 chipmunks, and did my grreat GWALK a MOLEY stuff.

I even managed to get into the garden. Dad had taken the rotoKILLER to the thing a couple of weeks ago and it was nothing butt SMOOTH and FLAT. That is no good (just like the tulip bulb location). I got in there and dug 4 nice big holes that will be just super for catching and holding CLOUD PEE AND SNOWMAN POOPS this winter. It will have the ground all nice and moist for when we are ready to work in the garden in the spring. SEE.... I am always thinking ahead.
I was very much tired last night. Bed felt really good.

Today is supposed to be just as beautiful as yesterday SO I am going to do outside work again..all day! I don't know what I am going to do with THEM while I am busy today. I am going to have to think up some other chore for them to focus on. HUMMMMM I had better give that some thought... quickly. I know one thing for sure, there will be NO WINDOW WASHING on their list !!!

more INDIAN stuff

I have good news from my weather man today. Since we have already had our big killing FROST... and today is supposed to be very much sunny and 70 degrees... it is officially INDIAN SUMMER on my hill. Here is my plan for today... do my blog read everybuddy elses blogs take my morning nap and then..... PLAY OUTSIDE FOR THE WHOLE REST OF THIS WONDERFUL DAY. You all know that dachshunds are 70 degree dogs. We believe that 69 is too cold and 71 is too hot.

TODAY WILL BE JUST PERFECT FOR ME.

I hope you have a

WONDERFUL

DAY

TOO !

A Hunting they will go...

This is my dad and Mike on MY 4-wheeler. I don't know why Mike has his PAWS up in the air. Maybe he though he should surrender. hehehe

This is Mark and Jerry on Mark's 4-wheeler. The orange things are my silly pumpkin heads.

This is ME. I am giving them orders about how to find the deer and most importantly... how to bring one (or two) home for me to eat!!! YUMMMY YUMMY YUM

This is THEM spraying... More about that stuff later.

My dad's nephew Mike is here visiting from Texas. His brother Mark is the one who was at my lake for the fishing tournament in August. My dad and his bestest furend Jerry took the the brothers hunting for deer. I told them that they were supposed to bring at least one deer back for me, butt they didn't listen to me. I don't know if you will be able to see any of them beclaws they are all wearing CAMO clothes.

You very much will NOT believe this. They were spraying STINKY DEER PEE all over each other. Heck, if I had known they wanted pee on them I would have been more than glad to pee on all of them. Especially since they didn't bring a yummy deer back to me.

They must have had fun beclaws... they came back very much EARLY this morning and tried it again. That is where they are right now. If they bring me something I'll be sure to let you know.

Pee S. Dad and Jerry have been hunting and fishing together for over 40 years!!! That is a very much long time for guys to be furends.

How did they ever manage to do all of this

Some of Ohio's many Indian Mounds. This is a picture of a mound that is actually INSIDE another mound. That is Brandie. She is Bacall, Atticus, and Austin J's, two legger mom. I didn't get to go to this place with my mom and Brandie. Mom says that this is an area to be respected and that she was not sure I would understand. This is a small burial mound that is INSIDE the great Circle mound. It was taller than Brandie. The "circle" is even HIGHER THAN THIS.

Brandie walked around the burial mound but did NOT walk up onto it, even though people are actually allowed to do that. She showed Great Respect.

This is an ariel photograph of the oddest of all of Ohio's mounds. It is the Serpent Mound which is located in southwestern Ohio. There are lots of different thoughts as to why this one was constructed. I don't have a clue. I just know that mom is very much in awe of all of the mounds. I wonder how they did such a grrreat job when they couldn't even see it from the air??? Interesting !!!!

***********************************************

Mom said that after all of my Rodent and poop posts, I should do one about something "interesting" I thought Rodents and Poop WERE interesting. Butt, I guess not. So I looked through the pictures and came across these things. HOPE YOU ARE INTERESTED.

Newark, OH is not far from where I live. It is famous for a mysterious and very ancient indian earthwork known as the Circle mound. There are some other interesting effigy mounds in the area also. One is shaped like an alligator, one like a scorpion.

The Circle mound is huge! It covers several acers. It was constructed over 2,000 years ago by people who had no metal tools for digging, no beasts of burden, and no wheeled carts to move the dirt that was used for the mounds. How did they do it??? Why did they do it? How many people did it take? How many years??? How did those "ignorant savages" know about Alligators, scorpions, or how to get the opening to the Circle mound to be aligned with the sun? How could they plan for such a giant undertaking. Mom says the native Americans were a LONG way from being "ignorant savages" as they have been called. She thinks the speakers of those words were the ignorant ones.

If you ever want to know more about the mounds... there is a ton of stuff on the WWW about them.

I hope you weren't bored by this. I promise to have something "more invigorating" next time.

Poop Patrol

Here we go again. More discussions of our... POOPS. Little Lorenza announced that hers has been inspected and found to be perfect.
Norwood is concerned that one of our grrreatest of sneaky snacks has become taboo due to this Cat Crap Flu thingy. He is wondering if Goose Poops could be substituted. I consulted the CDDC (Center for Dawg Disease Control) and have learned that Goose Poops are not on the list of Banned Turds. So, my furend... you go for it. Just don't get caught. hehehe
Now to the flip side of this issue. W E are not allowed to inspect HUMAN Poops. Heck, I'm not even supposed to go into THAT room when my people are doing their Business. Then they make it all go away. Some how this doesn't seem fair. Why is OURS so scrutinized... and THEIRS so sacred????
Just one more human oddity. People... can't live with 'em, can't live without 'em.
Remember to stay away from all RODENT poops due to the threat of the dreaded Cat Crap Flu epidemic that they are spreading to all of US. Evil Vile Creatures

Health Alert !!!

I am really worried. It seems that all of my furends are getting sickies. First Twix had it. Next was Austin J. who not only had the loosey poopies, butt also had bumps all over him. Mango reports that he is on AntiPOOPotics. Now I learn that Lorenza has it too.
I am thinking that the two leggers all all worried about them getting that SWINE flu (that Tinkerbell, Tucker, and Oscar posted about) that they have obviously ignored US. I am thinking that there is a Terrible Dogdemic that is going unreported.
I believe this DAWG DISEASE should be called CAT CRAP FLU. I also am sure that it is being spread by close contact with RODENTS !!!
This is yet another reason to rid the world of ALL rodents. I have now decided NOT to send any rodents (if I ever catch any) to Lorenza. I know she will be diasppointed, butt if she caught Cat Crap Flu from the Thought of receiving some of my Rodent Rejects, imagine how sick she would have been had I actually sent some to her.
To stop the spread of Cat Crap Flu the CDDC (Center for Dawg Disease Control) is recommending that we STAY FAR AWAY FROM ALL RODENTS AND THEIR... ahem... EXCREATIONS. NO SNIFFING AND CERTAINLY NO EATING OF ANY TYPE OF RODENT... POOP. ESPECIALLY NOT THAT (YUMMY) R A B B I T POOP.
Stop the spread of CAT CRAP FLU. SPREAD THE WORD... NOT THE POOPS.

PeeS Hope all my furends are feeling better soon.
Pee Pee S.... WHEN I catch some Rodent Rejects... I now plan to send them down the road to...
live in Jim the Grinch Guy's Garage.

New Shipment Arrived

Okay, Tank wondered about their guarantee. Look what it says... Satisfaction PAWsitively Promised. So far I am not really satisfied, butt the triumph of hope over experience is keeping my aLOUDance fund at near zero.

Here is the conTRAPtion that I received today.

This is the picture of what I am HOPING will happen. TRIUMPH OF HOPE OVER EXPERIENCE I say. So far my experience is ZERO... ZERO RODENTS AND ZERO MONEY LEFT. I am beginning to be a bit discouraged here.

SPEAKING OF DISCOURAGED... here is an update on that window washing rip my mom went on the other day. Since she finished ,there have been about 10 birds that have crashed into those ... see through monsters. I hope she is satisfied. The poor defenseless little things were just fine until she went all crazy. I can hardly nap for all the banging and mashing sounds. It sounds like some percussion section gone wild. What a vile trick. She lures them in close with all those feeders full of seeds, then washes the windows so they can't see MY WARNING MARKERS !!!

Wordly Wednesday

My brushpile and garden plot. You can also see some of my safety fence. That is where I have to go when mom and dad can't be watching me. It is also where all of MY company can go to play. As you can tell we live on a nice sized hill. It makes for wonderful... looking.

The hill that is across the way... is really over a mile AS THE CROW FLIES from my house. There is a nice valley between the hills.

See, I really do live WAY OUT IN THE COUNTRY. It would be peaceful... except for Jim the Grinch guy.

When our TEMPORARY neighbors were here this summer, Brandie loved to bring Bacall, Atticus, and Austin J. up here to play in my fenced area. Brandie would always say to mom, "How do you ever get anything done up here? If I lived here I would be on this front porch and never cook or clean. I love to just look at the hills." And that was even befor they started to turn pretty colors. I will admit that SOME days it is a bit difficult for me to get mom to leave the porch, even to do something for M E !!! Shocking isn't it???

I know this isn't YELLOW like my favorite tree...butt yellow wouldn't show up for easy reading. Sorry, this is the best that I could do. I had mom and dad take these pics. yesterday beclaws it was sunny and nice. Today...not so much.

That is not only MY favorite tree (under which if do my best Gwalk-a-moley work), butt it is my MOM's favorite also. She loves to sit and look at it from the diningroom when she eats her supper. I don't know why I am doing anything nice for her since she washed off all my window bumper guards, butt being the sweet sort that I am...

I think the view from the other side of the house is just as nice. That is the side MY sunporch is on. The only thing is... there are so many trees on that side of the house that you can't see as far.

The worst thing about all the leaves coming off the trees is that when they are bare... I can see a tiny bit of the Grinch's house... a n d .... HE can see mine!!! Shiver Shake

Yesterday was LOREN'S Birthday. He and Brandie are in Branson, MO. I wish they hadn't moved away. I was just getting to know Bacall, Atticus, and Austin J..

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LOREN !!! PEE S. Thanks for all the goodies you sent to me. I wanted to play with Cowboy Turkey, butt mean old dad wouldn't let me. (Sorry folks, this is an outside joke.)
Yesterday was another rodent disappointment for me. I hope my new conTRAPtion arrives today. I am in serious need of more machines and LESS rodents.

Dad used the big scary Robokiller thingy to dig up the rest of my garden today. He was very much careful not to disturb my brush pile though. That is one of my few cold weather joys. Rooting around in an interesting brush pile is grrrreat fun. I never know what may be lurking in there.

Pee PEE S. (some days I am just full of that stuff) I almost forgot to tell you this bit of sad news. Mom and dad went to the lake yesterday and COVERED the Lady L. all up for the winter. The mystery guys will come in a few days and tow her to winter dry dock. I was so very much upset about it that I wouldn't even go with them!!! Say Good Bye to Cap'n Frankie and his crew until... April. Whine Whine Whine sigh SIGH GROAN

Now Mom is at it...

Today I am going to discuss an important issue. It is one that is near and dear to my...SNOUT. I have tried and tried to get this across to MOM butt she just doesn't seem to get the message.
Here is the thing, I'm a Dachshund. Dachshunds have AHEM, rather long noses. It's just a fact of life. OKAY??? Mom should be well aware of this by now.
She should also be aware of the fact that... I have a SUNPORCH. A sunporch with LOTS of windows that go from way up there to way now here where I AM!!! I love to sit on my sunporch when it is too cool to be outside. I just lounge around soaking up the rays... AND ... LOOKING OUTSIDE. It is the looking out that causes me trouble. In order for me to really see everything that I need to see... I HAVE TO GET UP REALLY CLOSE TO THOSE WINDOWS. Sometimes I accidently get too close and smash my adorable black gumdrop of a nose. It hurts darn it. I don't like it one bit.
Sooooo, to prevent personal pain and anguish... I deliberately make marks on the windows so I can SEE when I am getting too close. These things are very helpful to me. Butt mom just doesn't get it.
SHE calls them my AHEM... SNOT SMEARS !!!
Can you believe that???? Well, it gets WORSE. I have been spending a lot of time on MY sunporch lately, getting it ready for all these days when it isn't fit for me to be clear outside. I had just gotten every single window... NOSE PROOFED... when Mom decided to wash windows.
I am just astounded. What was that woman thinking????? Isn't my life complicated an painful enough? Between Jim the Grinch Guy and Jr. Grinch and cold weather coming and all these rodents that refuse to be rounded up I just have my tail in a twitch. Now I have to worry about abrasions of the proboscus. SIGH

Hatfields and McGrinches

I had to go work on getting my Pontoon boat ready for her long winter sleep yesterday. I checked my Rodent conTRAPtions before I left and again as soon as we returned. Sad to say, nothing to reports as yet.

Tank has asked some questions about my ongoing difficulties with Jim the Grinch Guy who lives down my road. This situation started many years before I was born. He used to just pick on my mom, now he gives us BOTH a hard time. I don't even KNOW why he doesn't bother dad. I just know that he used to take my mom's car to his garage and hold her hostage for days and years and forever. He did mind tricks with Olivia the Oldsmobile until he totally corrupted her. She no longer wanted to live in her very nice garage up here... she just wanted to be down... THERE with all the redneck trucks and tractors and the rough talk and... I don't even know what all else. It got so bad that mom had to just let Olivia live her own life. That is when she got Jennifer the Jeep. Jennifer is not allowed to roll wheels anywhere near that place of total corruption. Then the Grinch started to demand POINTS for all the little things that he does for us, like g etting our mail when we go away. That costs mom a POINT for every day we are gone. BUTT WE DO NOT GET ANY POINTS WHEN WE GET THE GRINCH'S MAIL FOR HIM. See... that is just how he is. Anyway Jim the Grinch Guy is ALWAYS trying to do mean sneaky stuff. Like last week when he (falsely) accused my mom of sending our friend's wife a SYMPATHY card for their Anniversary!! It was a GRINCH trick and he just wanted to keep from being blamed for such a terrible thingy.
It never matters how hard we try we just can't make him be nice. If HE puts up HIS Christmas lights first... we never hear the end of it. If ours goes up first... same result. If mom sends the Grinch a NOTE... (always delivered by dad) the Grinch complains and shows it to ALL HIS FRIENDS. If she goes a few days and DOESN'T send him any notes... he complains to everybuddy (who will listen to him) that he must have done some bad thing because he hasn't gotten any NOTES in DAYS and DAYS and DAYS.

Yep, it is like the Hatfields and the McGrinches!!!

a NEVER ENDING... something.

BUTT none of us would have it any other way...hehehe

Grinchville

First I want to give you an update on my Acme Co. conTRAPtions. Even though it was really sunny and nice yesterday... I didn't catch one single rodent in any of my three machines. Tank thinks I need to check the Acme Co. return policy. I am going to sniff into that today. I did send in another order yesterday. I hope that one will arrive tomorrow. I'll keep you informed.

NOW FOR THE GRINCH UPDATE!

Mom and Dad went to Bonnie and Jr. Grinch's WEDDING THINGY last night. I was NOT invited BUTT this is what I found out after they got home.

I think this getting married thing is like when I got adopted. They get a new place to live and there are lots of new rules for them to learn. They also get NEW NAMES for just that special day. Mom said Bonnie was a beautiful GUIDE and Jr. Grinch was a handsome BROOM.

Mom said Bonnie the GUIDE was helping people get to the food and leading all the dancing stuff. So I understand the GUIDE thing, butt I don't know about the BROOM stuff. I know that brooms are for getting crumby things off the floor. Maybe that Jr. Grinch was doing crumby stuff all evening. That sounds like him to me.

They had that big food thing going and I actually got some of it.... BECLAWS.... my very much good friend THERESA (who is the Jim the Grinch Guy's sister) made a bowl of deeelicious pork and some cheese for Mom to bring to me. Theresa is NOT a Grinch.

I was really sad and hurt when I found out that Lee and Arianna and Jalyn were there and I did not get to see them. They are some of my VERY MUCH FAVORITE children. I am really mad that I didn't get to play with them. I just may go down the road and poop in Jr. Grinch's new yard. At Least... Lee and Arianna have seen MY Christmas Lights and now know that it is time to start telling their grandPAW , Jim the Grinch Guy, to GET BUSY AND PUT UP HIS LIGHTS. hehehe

Congratulations and Best Wishes to

the

GUIDE AND BROOM!!!!!

from Frankie Furter

Star Riley & Norwood

I am going to talk about my collections today. This is just ONE of MANY dachshund thingys that are in my room. My mom bought it fur me in PAWsylvania last weekend at my favorite craft show in Franklin (Apple Fest).

This is for my new FURend, Norwood. I understand that he Loves frogs. Last summer there was a TOAD that lived in this "house". I made a very much BIG mistake one day. Here is what I learned about those NASTY toads... NEVER EVER EVER LICK ONE. They will make you FOAM AT THE MOUTH. Frogs are fine though.

This is my collection of PRETEND Froggies. I play with them all the time. Norwood, these pretend froggies DON'T go away in the winter.

Since it rained all day yesterday I didn't catch anthing in my Acme Co. rodent contraptions. It is looking a little more promising out there today. ??? Is that more of that TRIUMPH OF HOPE OVER EXPERIENCE thingy that mom mentioned???

Pee S. Yesterday I got my ALOUDance. I know this is just shameful, butt I am going to send it all to the Acme Co.. They have some more machines that I want to buy. Dad says no more cash advances though so I am hoping that they will have a sale going on. One of those BOGO thingys that mom loves perhaps.

Pee Pee S. (I have got to quit drinking all this water) Lorenza, Rabbits change their colors just to try and TRICK dachshunds (and other dogs) into thinking they are some other kind of animal. Rabbits are ALMOST as evil as squirrels.

More Acme Co.

I couldn't afford to buy the recommended 3 , butt I am still confident that I can reduce my rabbit population anyway.

Mom says that this is an example of the triumph of HOPE over Experience. I don't know what she means by that.

We are having a really rainy day so I don't suppose I will catch any chipmunks, groundmoles, or rabbits today. TOMORROW is just a day away.

1 year of Blogging

Hi Everybuddy, I wanted to tell you that today marks my 1 year BLOGGERVERSARY.

My counter thingy says this is my 333rd. Posting. I guess that isn't too shabby for a beginner.
It has been very much wonderful meeting all of you. I am looking forward to another year of caring and sharing with everybuddy. Thank you for all your advice and support and help. I don't know how I would have survived the Grinch(s) and Sarge and bouts of writer's block and Rodents and the bad weather and Jennifer Jeep and.... Well, you know all that you have been through with me. You have been such a grrreat source of comfort. Life is not always easy for a little dachshund, you know.
THANKS A BAZILLION... I hope that is a really big number thingy.

Pee S. Nothing in either one of my Rodent Traps today. I think it was beclaws it was just toooo windy up on my hill.
PEE PEE S. Jim the Grinch Guy came up to my house today. I STAYED IN MY CLINER CHAIR... HE stayed on the sun porch with dad and mom. Even though I was in the cliner... I listened to what all they were saying and.... well .... gosh.... I kind of feel like a big pile of cat crap. I made a BIG mistake and I am feeling very much embarrassed about it. I thought that the Jr. Grinch and Bonnie were going to ROAST some poor little DOG.... Now I find out that it is NOT a DOG.... it really is a HOG that they are going to roast. Sorry about that.
You know that English is not my FIRST language... I spoke German/Dachshund for a LONG time before I was adopted by mom and dad. That is when I first started to learn ENGLISH words. They STILL give me very much trouble when I write and listen to these hard words.
BUTT... sometimes I really do know how to spell the words...it is just that it is MY BLOG and I like to spell some words MY way. Sorry about that. I guess if I had an assistant like Tank does... ooops DID, spelling wouldn't be an issue.
PEE PEE PEE S.... (I held that stuff for a LONG time before I found out the truth about the HOG roast) I ordered something else from the Acme Co. today... I'll keep you posted.

Now What??????

You will NOT believe this one !! I heard mom and dad talking last night and they were whispering about this stuff. Butt I sneaked up and listened as much as I could. It is all about the Grinch Jr. and this even includes Bonnie who was my pretend mom in the Christmas play last year. That really shocked me. I thought she was sooooo very much nice, now I find out that she has been around those two Grinches soooo much that she is starting to act like them.

Any way this is the stuff that I hear mom and dad talking about. It is a whole bunch scary so don't read it if you are alone or it is dark.

The Junior Grinch and Bonnie are having some kind of special party thing Saturday night. They invited my mom and dad to this and it is called a

DOG ROAST !!!

I am still shivering and shaking just thinking about it. Can you imagine??? They want my mom and dad to go to a terrible thing like that????? No Way!!! I am not going to let them do it. Grinches are EVIL. A DOG ROAST indeed.

I just knew life on this hill was going to go "downhill" when I found out the the Jr. Grinch was going to move in beside Jim the Grinch Guy. Now I know that I was right. Butt I am not feeling good about my level of prediction. EVIL EVIL HIDEOUS HORRIBLE I couldn't even imagine that the Grinches would Roast a Dog and then expect my mom and dad to EAT it!!!!

I have heard of people doing that ^^^/weiner roasting/^^^ thing before. Of course, mom and dad never do that thing either, butt this is sooooo much worse on every level. The Grinch Jr. didn't even try to cover up what he was doing with fancy wording. NO NO not HIM. Jr. Grinch PROUDLY announced that he was going to be putting on a DOG ROAST. I am just scared to death. And SHOCKED.

I am afraid to go out to PEE now. I just KNOW he plans to try to catch ME and cook me even though mom asked dad where the Grinch Jr. was going to get the DOG and dad said it was coming from some farm. No Way Am I Going To Believe That Stuff Either. I mean really what difference does it make WHERE the poor DOG comes from???? It is still going to be ROASTED.

I say... there should be a LAW about such a terrible practice.

Down with Dog Roasts.

I assure you I am NOT going to allow mom and dad to go to it, even if they

had wanted to. NOPE, I am not

having it.

PLEASE cross your paws for me.

I don't want to end up the Victim

of a DOG Roast.

Another Acme Co. Shipment

Hi Everybuddy, I made it back from Sarge's house !! While I was gone a new shipment arrived from the Acme Co. Rodent Reduction Collection. I didn't know what to do first.... put my Chipmunk Confiner back out so I could start in on them again, or... begin tearing into my new arrival. I decided to get the Confiner back in operation because mom was filling the bird feeders just as I needed help getting out the door.

It took me about a year to get into the new box. Then weeks to get the Groundmole Grabber set up. Sooooo what do you think of it??? I am really sure that I'll have something in one or the other of my traps by the end of the day. I hope that a certain little Miss Lorenza is ready to start receiving rodents by the truck load.... he he he She had better have her grandma hem her pretty dresses up because I just KNOW she is going to be tummy deep in the things before long. hehehe he he he