Monday, October 12, 2009

Now Mom is at it...

Today I am going to discuss an important issue. It is one that is near and dear to my...SNOUT. I have tried and tried to get this across to MOM butt she just doesn't seem to get the message.
Here is the thing, I'm a Dachshund. Dachshunds have AHEM, rather long noses. It's just a fact of life. OKAY??? Mom should be well aware of this by now.
She should also be aware of the fact that... I have a SUNPORCH. A sunporch with LOTS of windows that go from way up there to way now here where I AM!!! I love to sit on my sunporch when it is too cool to be outside. I just lounge around soaking up the rays... AND ... LOOKING OUTSIDE. It is the looking out that causes me trouble. In order for me to really see everything that I need to see... I HAVE TO GET UP REALLY CLOSE TO THOSE WINDOWS. Sometimes I accidently get too close and smash my adorable black gumdrop of a nose. It hurts darn it. I don't like it one bit.
Sooooo, to prevent personal pain and anguish... I deliberately make marks on the windows so I can SEE when I am getting too close. These things are very helpful to me. Butt mom just doesn't get it.
SHE calls them my AHEM... SNOT SMEARS !!!
Can you believe that???? Well, it gets WORSE. I have been spending a lot of time on MY sunporch lately, getting it ready for all these days when it isn't fit for me to be clear outside. I had just gotten every single window... NOSE PROOFED... when Mom decided to wash windows.
I am just astounded. What was that woman thinking????? Isn't my life complicated an painful enough? Between Jim the Grinch Guy and Jr. Grinch and cold weather coming and all these rodents that refuse to be rounded up I just have my tail in a twitch. Now I have to worry about abrasions of the proboscus. SIGH


Sam said...

Poor dawg! You think those silly humans would understand our troubles. I am part hound and I inherited the long nose just like you have, so I can understand!


Anonymous said...

I really feel like we're kindred spirits Frank... I've got lots of problems too and can't seem to get anybody to feel sorry for me. Seems like most dogs who blog are frighteningly upbeat and happy. I've been trying to find a network of jaded, sarcastic bloggers... just feel like I would fit in better, know what I mean?

Bummer about your windows dude.

Erin and her Dogs said...

Grr I hate it when mom washes the windows, it takes a lot time to get those marks just right! We know what you mean!!

-Texas and Bubbles

Lorenza said...

Hi, Frankie!
Sure I know what are you talking about!
I had a serious talk with my mom but seems like she does not get the message!
Kisses and hugs

Khyra The Siberian Husky And Sometimes Her Mom said...

We khall it SNART -

Woo are just being khreative fur her!


Frankie Furter said...

Welcome Marge!!! It is good to meet you.
Tank... Oh yes! I knew right away that you and I would be...
Kindred K-9's !
Lorenza, I knew that you would understand my situation!!!
Maybe we should all band together and try to get this hideous window washing practice put to an end once and for all !!!
PEE S. My mom knew a family who had a dachshund that they named STRETCH! SOOOO, of course they called those things on their car windows... STRETCH MARKS!!!

Ruby and Penny said...

We like what Khyra calls your window smears. Snart. We're going to use that word for our window smears.
Love Ruby & Penny