new Dachshund Detective story in the works

I started work on a new mystery yesterday. It is taking longer than I thought it would. I guess that is Okay since I need to ask permission to use one of my blog friends in this story.
Tinkerbell, would it be OKAY for me to use you as the client in this story? I will mostly just use your name. No pictures, of course. This is not going to be a puppy story. he he he
It will be pure fiction. Let me know Tink.

Insniffigation Case

F. Oscar Dective report to clients

To: Penny and Ruby
Re: Lost Spring

I have completed my insniffigation and have determined that your Spring is on its way.

I tracked it as far as the border between the U.S. and Canada. It was being held there by immigration officers due to a lack of Passport.
It was finally determined that Seasons have dual citizenship and the proper paperwork has been completed.
Springtime has now been released and is making its way to your location.

As you know, my usual fee is a donation to the client's local animal shelter. However, I am going to waive my fee in your case. You have earned a free pass because of Ruby's Therapy work.
If I can be of further assistance, please contact me.
Sincerely, F. Oscar. Dachshund Detective

My Anniversary

I am so very much happy
to be celebrating my

Second Adoption Anniversary. I can hardly believe that I have been here with mom and dad for Two Whole Years. They have been the bestest years of my life. My mom and dad had soooo much to learn when I got here. There were many things that they did not know about. I taught them lessons over and over. They wanted to please me so they did their very best to learn the things that they needed to know. We are now a very happy family. I am so proud of mom and dad and they really love me more than you can even imagine.

Today I will get a present and I will get a special supper. I don't know what either of them will be yet. Mom likes to give me surprises. We will have a little party. I will open my present. Everyone will be HAPPY.

Next month I will have my third birthday. That means another party.

Life is grrrrreat.

The Lady L is back

My


My boat is called the
Lady L. She is back
from her long winter
sleep. We went yesterday
to get her uncovered and
ready to go.

This is me from last summer. I don't have all my winter fur in this picture. I still have it right now. I will be very much hot because it is going to be 87 degrees F. today. Darn, I may be forced to do some cool refreshing wadding. When I am on my boat I force people to call me

Cap'n Frankie !!!! he he he I sure do hop there aren't any Pirates on my lake. I don't want them to try to take me or my crew hostage.

Wow Spring became Summer

Yesterday it was 89 degrees. Day before yesterday... my furnace was on!!!

I was so glad to have a warm dry day that I played and played and played. I was so busy doing that that I kind of forgot all about my blog. I didn't get my mind going to think of a story for today.
That is really sad because.... today is my 200th. post.

I do have something good coming up soon. Tues. April 28th. is my anniversary. It will be two YEARS since my mom and dad adopted me.
I hope they plan something very much special for me on that very much important HOLIDAY. he he he

spring has finally sprung

Wow, yesterday morning the furnace was on. By afternoon mom and dad turned it off and opened doors and windows. Today it is supposed to be 80 degrees. That means that I will be able to play outside almost the entire day. I have two new beef bones to work on and I know mom will be wanting me to help her plant snap dragons. Those are very much pretty flowers, not scary monsters.
Guess what ! Tomorrow will be my 200th. blog post.
Reminder: I am looking for clients for F. Oscar Insniffigatations The dachshund detective. If you have any mystery that needs solving please let me know. I only charge a donation to your local animal shelter.

Going into business

Okay!! I am going to do this thing. I am going to TRY my best to make a mystery story.
I have to have a character and a setting and a problem to solve and lots of other very much technical writer stuff. These mystery stories are not going to be easy to do. I have to put one paw out at a time. So I am thinking I need for this to be a Dachshund Detective story.

What do you think about this???

F. Oscar Dachshund
P. I.
(Private Insniffigator)

You got a problem?
Call Oscar
100- hereboy
100-437-3269
Cash clients only!
OKAY now you know I am just kidding about the phone part. You all know I'm not allowed to use the phone. Not since that incident... waaay back then. SO, IF YOU HAVE A PROBLEM, A MISSING TOY, UNEXPLAINED EMPTY BOWL, ARE LOOKING FOR A SPECIAL PERSON, OR ANY OTHER ODDITY THAT YOU NEED HELP WITH...... JUST POST YOUR PROBLEM ON THIS WEB SITE. I WILL DO MY DACHSHUND BEST TO HELP YOU OUT.
Pee S. Just kidding about the cash part. I would be happy with a donation to your local animal shelter.
F. Oscar's office is officially OPEN FOR BUSINESS !!! Bring it on.

Garden goodies

Today we are going to go
get some plants for our garden. I love garden time, even if it is very much hard work for me.
I have to keep digging out holes for plants to go in. Then I need to dig out the weeds and bugs and ... Well my work is never done when it comes to the garden.

Mom let me see her notes and things from the conference that she went to. It was mostly about writing mystery stories. I have never written one of those. I think I might like to try it. Would you like that? Maybe I could let Oscar be a private insniffigator. he he he

Spring time means Mushroom season here

These pictures are from Last Year. Can you see the sneaky mushroom?

Morels (our spring mushrooms) are very much hard to find. Dad went out today for a little bit between rains. He brought me one mushroom.

I love them. Especially when mom fries them all crispy. Yummmm.

My silly mom took it in her head to try to use that little mushroom to make me become a truffel dog. I played her silly game for a while. We were out on the NO sun porch. She would hide the mushroom and then I would find it. We did this over and over.
Mom was getting all happy and excited about the fact that I could find the mushroom really quick. He he he.... you know where this is going don't you??

I made mom get up and down and up and down and up and down to move that silly mushroom over and over. She thinks she was teaching me to sniff out mushrooms... I was really just giving her some much needed exercise. She is soooo easy to fool.

By Thursday the mushrooms will be up good and ready for us to go out and pick seriously. Mom is going to be all loosened up and ready. Stoop, pick, walk walk, stoop, pick, walk walk. Yep I am one fine little trainer. he he he

Life is good

My mom came home. I was getting worried. It seemed like she was gone forever. She was very much glad to see me!!!
Of course she had to check everything out. She looked and sniffed and investigated every nook and cranny. You know how people do when they have been away from home forever. They just have to make sure everything is the way it should be.
She finally settled down to talk to me about my babysitting. She was very impressed with the job I did. She said that dad looked clean and brushed. She could tell that I had fed him well because she checked the wastebaskets and the dishwasher. She couldn't believe that I had made sure that all of his toys and stuff were picked up and that we had not left our room in a mess. The bed was not even torn up or chewed or anything. She was so proud of how well I managed to take care of dad that she gave me a bonus.
Now I have plastic to spend. I can't wait to get to my favorite store so I can spend some of it. I am rich again. Well, just a little bit rich. I like this feeling. I missed my mom, but if I got paid every time she left... I might not mind so much. he he he

My Goose And Egg story.

Oscar’s Egg Rescue
By: Frankie Furter Price
April 2009
Oscar and his family live in the country. He can run and play in his yard, but is never supposed to go to the thicket without his people because other animals make that area their home. Oscar’s people don’t want him to frighten them away.
One day Oscar was digging a delightful new hole when he caught a strange scent in the air. He knew he shouldn’t leave the yard but he couldn’t resist the urge to follow his nose.
He was very careful about where he walked. He made his way into the thicket and down to the edge of the brook. Normally Oscar would be running and splashing in the tummy deep water. Not this time. He was looking for whatever was making that strange smell.
It didn’t take long for his mighty dachshund nose to find the source. Lying right out in the open was the largest egg he had ever seen. Oscar moved closer and was shocked to detect the egg’s warmth. All the eggs that he had ever been around had come out of the refrigerator and were quite cold.
Oscar could sense fear in the air. He took several steps back. That was when he saw the largest bird he could imagine. He knew it was a bird but it wasn’t doing any of the things birds normally do. It was sitting down. It wasn’t moving a muscle. The poor thing was looking right into Oscar’s eyes and it was terrified.
It took several minutes for Oscar to think the situation through. He finally realized that what he was seeing was a mother goose whose egg had rolled away from her nest. She was truly frightened, but not for herself. She was afraid for her egg. Oscar gradually came to realize that the egg was warm because it had been in its nest until he had startled its mother. She must have moved just enough to cause the egg to roll away. Oscar recognized the situation and took responsibility for it. This was his blunder and he had to do something to fix the situation.
Oscar didn’t know anything about hatching eggs, but he did remember how his own mother had taken care of him when he was a pup. She would curl up around him and his brothers and sisters and keep them warm.
Oscar slowly moved toward the egg then lay down and curled around it as he remembered his mother doing. He would keep the egg warm and safe until he could return it to the nest.
Oscar’s people didn’t see him and began calling. They called and called but Oscar didn’t move. The miserable mother goose didn’t move either. Oscar needed for her to fly away so that he could return the egg to its nest. He hoped that his people would come looking for him and that they would cause the goose to fly.
He hated not answering his people’s calls and whistles. Oscar knew they would be worried about him. Their calls were getting louder. That meant that they were getting closer. His heart was beating very fast. He watched the mother goose. She was beginning to stir.
Oscar’s frustrated people were getting closer. One of them suddenly clapped their hands very loud. That startled the goose enough to cause her to fly.
Oscar didn’t waste a second, he got up and began pushing the egg with his nose. He didn’t have far to go, but needed to work carefully. He had seen how easily an egg could be broken and ruined. Oscar saw that there were two other eggs in the nest. He only needed one more push to make it three once more. He gave it his best effort. That was all that was needed.
Oscar jumped away from the nest and ran as fast as he could toward the sound of his people’s voices. He wanted to look back to be sure the egg had not rolled away again, but felt that he had to get as far away as possible so that the mother would return to her nest.
Oscar’s people were so relieved to see him that they didn’t notice the goose as it flew to her nest. Oscar saw it though, and he was thrilled.
Oscar thought of the goose and her eggs every day. He wondered how they were doing. He resisted the urge to go to the thicket and check on them. What he did instead, was spend almost every day sitting on top of the hill that overlooked the area. He watched and he hoped that his efforts had been enough.
After days and days of keeping his vigil Oscar finally gave up. He went back to his long abandoned hole and began digging once again. Oscar made some progress, he was finally down far enough to be in damp earth making his frantic clawing easier, when he was startled by loud wing beats. He dropped to the bottom of the hole just as a large goose and three smaller ones flew directly over him. As they began to climb higher in the sky he could have sworn that their honking sounded as though they were calling his name.

This is a work of fiction based on a real life experience. In the spring of 2008 the author did find a goose on her nest. She had actually lost one of her eggs. The author scampered back to his people and led them to the sad scene. He was quite interested in the unfortunate egg but did not go close to it. The author watched as his people quickly took a couple of pictures then left the nesting area undisturbed.
The actual event took place along the shore of Burr Oak Lake. The author’s people had beached his pontoon boat so they could fish, while he enjoyed some, on shore, exploration. Beachcombing is one way the author relaxes when he isn’t writing.
When the sculptor, Mr. Alan Cottrill, chose his goose for the author to base a story around, it seemed natural to meld a bit of reality with a touch of fiction. As with the text, some of the photos are authentic and some show the author in a staged setting.
To learn more about the author visit his blog at:
Frankiefurterprice.blogspot.com
To learn more about the sculptor visit his website at:
www.alancottrill.com

Picture to go with my story... Wednesday

As I told you, mom is going away for a few days and I am going to baby sit dad. Mom is taking my YapStop computer with her. She is being a big mean butt scoot about this. So anyway I am going to give you my goose story to read Wednesday. This is one of the pictures that goes with my story. I hope that you like it. I'll get back to regular posts as soon as mom gets home, and I FINISH PUNISHING HER.

Hope the Bunny was good to you

A lady that my mom knows and likes painted this. Mom loves it. She says that everytime she sees this picture it makes her have warm happy thoughts. I didn't have enough allowance money left this month to buy mom an Easter present so I thought I would put this on my blog for her instead. It is the thought that counts most. Right???

I am going to miss some posting days this week. My mom is going away and she is afraid that I will go to some sites that I am not supposed to see if she isn't here to watch some of the things I do. She keeps talking about the time that dad and I watched the stuff on Pay for View, and that incident with the telephone, gosh she never forgets anything. So, anyway I will not be allowed to make any blogs while she is gone. That made me mad when she told me. I typed some of my seven fun words like poop and sniff and fart and turd. It didn't change her mind though. I don't know why. I just wanted to warn you about this.

I have to stay here and babysit my dad while she is gone. I think I might take him down the road to Jim the Grinch Guy's garage one night. We can hang out with all the guys and maybe even talk trash mouth stuff. Hummmm, maybe it won't be so bad with mom gone after all.

I know that Jim the Grinch will behave himself because he still has his 20 stimulus points and he won't want to lose them. Yep, I am for sure taking dad to the Grinch Guy's garage one night.

WHEN MOM'S AWAY...

New Friends

These are my two new
friends. Ming Foo is a black Chow Chow.
Loki is a St. Bernard.

They were as tall as I was, except that was only when I was sitting on my chair. LOL

actually they are both HUGE!!! But they were as NICE as they were big. Ming Foo has a BLACK tongue. I know because I got licked with it. he he he

Loki is in training to become a Helper Dog. He will be helping his mistress (MOMMY) when she needs things carried, or if she falls. It is a BIG job but Loki will be grrrreat at it.

They came to my writers' group this week. Even though they aren't writers, like I am, they listened and did not cause any trouble. Sometimes we k-9's are just AMAZING.

Pee S. I didn't even fall off my chair when they came in. LOL

getting the pattern down

In my continuing battle with the Vicious Vacula family. I am trying to build my arsenal of knowledge and weapons.

I need your help to come up with ways to defeat these monsters. I am willing to try almost anything.

I have already been given two good ideas. One is to put out a trail of crumbs or toys and lead him down the road to Jim the Grinch Guy's house. That would solve two of my problems at once. Vacula would be gone and The Grinch would be so busy doing battle with him that he would leave me and my mom alone. I like this plan.

The other idea was to chew off the end of Vacula Jr.'s Leash thing. I did not know that Vacula's got power from inside our WALLS!!! Mom says that is right. Who would have thought that. So, if I can chew the end off, no more big power. Butt, mom says I am not supposed to chew on cords. I could get lickocute ed. I didn't think that sounded bad until mom says it does not mean that I am cute and like to lick people. She says it is a very much dangerous thing that hurts.

Okay, so if getting lickocute ed is bad and dangerous... why do the Vaculas love it? I have to think about that part. Maybe it is because they are soooo very much mean that it doesn't hurt them.

I have noticed a pattern in the Vacula Raids. They seem to usually happen on the day after clothes get washed. Mom says that some monsters like to come out when the moon is very much full and bright. Maybe Vaculas can smell the nice clean clothes and sheets and stuff. Or maybe dirty clothes keep them away. Mom says garlic and crosses and daylight keep some monsters in their hiding places.

Maybe I can find some Vacula repellent.

Do you suppose monsters can be trained to be nice and good and dachshundlike?

I need a plan of action. Please help. It is just too much for me to do alone.

New Scary Story...

STOP !!! This is a very much scary story. Read at your own risk. Frankie

Vacula Jr. On the Prowl
By: Frankie Furter Price
4/7/09

It was a warm and sunny day. I was napping in my living room bed, surrounded by my very much best toys. I had made sure that they were all in the exact places I wanted them before I closed my eyes. I had no idea that my dad had left the coat closet door unlocked. I was unaware of the plotting and planning that was going on behind that door.
At first I thought I was having a dream. This was no dream though, it was a nightmare come to life. I felt my tail being pulled. I couldn’t hear a sound but I knew something was very much wrong. I opened my eyes and there was Vacula Jr. ready to start eating my toys, my bed, and ME!
He was so sneaky quiet. He didn’t make any of his awful noises. He just rolled silently up to me and my stuff. I knew right away that Mom didn’t know he had escaped. His leash wasn’t attached to the thing in the wall. I was all on my own. I would have to fight him off with no help whatsoever. The only saving grace was that Vacula Jr. isn’t as strong and experienced as Vacula is.
I had no time to waste. I started moving toys and flipping my bed up to make a barrier. No Vacula can climb very well. They also don’t move as fast and flexible as a dachshund does. Once I had my bed barrier ready I went to work on his horrible mouth. I tried to bite his tongues. I was very much afraid but I had to protect my toys. They were depending on me. I was moving as fast as I possibly could. I was almost worn out. He was resisting all my efforts. I was beginning to think the struggle would be lost. Vacula Jr. wasn’t showing any signs of fear or weakness. I was desperate. That is when I noticed my basketball. It is my loudest toy.
I grabbed my basketball and started squeaking it right in Vacula Jr.’s horrible face. He instantly pulled his tongues in and stopped gnashing his hideous yellow teeth. I couldn’t believe my eyes. Vacula Jr. was afraid of basketball’s noises. It took all my jaw strength to keep the furious squeaking up. Just when I thought I couldn’t bite down one more time, Vacula Jr. surrendered. At that same moment my mom came in from the kitchen.
“Frankie, what the heck are you doing in here? Good grief, did your dad leave that crazy thing out again? Darn it, I’m trying to fix lunch. I can’t hear myself think over your racket. I just have too much work to do right now.”
I just looked up at her and wagged. She didn’t know that I had just saved everyone and everything from another Vac Attack. The End

My new Doctor

This is my Doctor's office. It is called Brandywine Hospital for Pets. This is my new doctor. Her name is Dr. Jodi Houser. I think she is very much pretty and she was super duper nice to me. She wasn't afraid of me or anything.

I had a shot in my butt, and it didn't even hurt me. I was very much brave. I also had some medicine put in my NOSE. That was very much funny. I really liked the whole visit.

My dad put me on this very funny table. It told my Dr. how much I weigh. Butt I don't understand how it did that.

After we had my weight... Dr. Houser made the table go up in the air like an elevator. It was fun!!

This nice lady fixed my shots up. She also had to take out some of my blood. I was brave for that too. She made me feel safe. I love my doctor's office... unless they do that temperature thing..... oooohhhhh! That is very much not nice to do to little dachshunds.

I was surprised to have a new doctor. I am used to Dr. Hustey. I missed him. Now I guess I am really lucky because I have TWO doctors.

PEE. S. Did I tell you that I weighed 11.6 #'s ? It is all muscle and brains!!! he he he

PEE PEE. S. I put my dad's picture in her two times because... he won't let us take very many pictures of him. Got 'cha Dad !!!

hard questions...

One of my mom's friends just asked her a couple of very much hard questions. This is a super lady and she just lost the love of her life.
She wants to know why someone who was so good and kind and helpful to everyone was suddenly taken from us.
She wants to know why the druggies and murderers and rapists and swindlers are still here.

I know that there MUST be answers to these questions.

It doesn't seem enought to say that those who are bad, mean. low rent, trash may be alive BUT THEY ARE NOT REALLY LIVING. They are not LOVED.
I would like to ask you if you have any words that I can give to this lovely lady when she is hurting so much????

to do... or not to do, that is the question

After tasting Vegemite Sarge decided that it tasted like a nasty dog butt. My mate Barney lives in Australia. He had his mum bring some of this stuff when she came to Ohio to visit back in December. My mom and dad and I all TRIED to eat it butt.... yucky. Not our cup of tea.

In Australia everyone eats it (well, almost everyone... Barney's mum hates it.) It looks like axle grease and tastes very much salty and... gee. I don't know. I guess a salty nasty butt.

That brings me to today's question to do, or not to do. Should we be polite to our friend Barb and say that the Vegemite is good, or do we be honest with her and say we would rather never have that in our mouth again.

We all opted for the honesty version. It was made easier because Barb said that she didn't like it either.

We really appreciated the fact that she brought that stuff half way round the world just for us. She did that to satisfy our insatiable curiosity. What a very much thoughtful thing for a very much wonderful lady to do.

We wanted to share this interesting taste "treat" with Lori and Sarge when we went to visit. That was a very well traveled tube of Vegemite, let me tell you. Australia to Ohio, Ohio to Pennsylvania, Pennsylvania to... Gee, I don't know what Sarge did with it. I know what he didn't do though. he he he

Whew First Friday is over...

I hope I didn't lay and egg last night. My friend Mr. Michael read my story. He has a wonderful voice and he made my story come alive. I was very much happy about it. I don't know what Mr. Cottrill thought but I am very much glad that I wrote the story. I liked his goose sculpture and it was fun for me to write about it.

I am always so nervous about what the artists will think of what I have written. I don't ever want to offend anyone.

Afterward my dad and mom and I went to some other studios and looked at more grrreat art stuff. I liked that. I got to show dad around, because it was the first time he had ever done this. It didn't take him anytime at all to catch onto the fact that they have CHEESE in some of the studios. YUMMMM. I even had an ice cube and cheese in one studio.

I also got to introduce dad to many of my friends. There were three kids there tonight. I loved that. One was Mr. Cottrill's grandson Noah and one was another artists daughter, her name was Ruby. I like them. I did not know the third little girl. Noah let me take him for a walk!!!.

So, it ended up being a really very much grrreat evening. Dad behaved himself. Mom was proud of both of us. I had kids to be with, and.... CHEESE, glorious CHEESE!

Oh, these two legged ones.

I looked and looked for my pictures of the poor bird that I found and helped after it hit the sunporch windows. I felt so sorry for the little thing. It was hurt and scared. That was just thej first of many that had this happen. The problem is that mom just won't listen to those of us who know more than she does about how to avoid danger.

See this is all about her being hard headed. (and they say that about those of us who are German???)

After that first bird hit the window the feathered and fur folks on this hill began a program to make things much safer for all of us. I took on the inside work and the birds went to work on the outside.

When humans don't have fure folks to take care of them they have to go out and buy these strange looking window cling things to keep birds and dogs and EVEN PEOPLE from banging into the glass.
That glass stuff is very much hard. It hurts when you hit it with your nose, let me tell you. And if you hit it too hard it will break and it is sharp and dangerous and rain and stuff might come inside your house!!!

So all the birds began to carefully bump into the windows and get some of their feathers to stick on the glass. Some of them even went so far as to POOP on the glass which is no easy thing to do, I think. Then I went around and put on some really good snot smears. It took us days and days and days to make it so we could actually SEE all this glass and be able to avoid it.
We even made it very much better for my dad. He could see the glass then too. He actually quit banging his head on the glass when he looked out the window to see who was coming up the driveway.
OKAY, so we worked inside and out and got everything all fixed so that this was a safe place to fly and walk around. I quit being worried about mashing my nose on the french doors when I thought someone was on my porch. LIFE WAS GOOD !!!
UNTIL TODAY. Today mom went totally crazy. She started in with this stinky stuff that smells like pickled beets (which are really not much good) and she was spraying and wiping and rubbing and and and just acting like a turpentined cat !!!!
Now, all the warning markers are gone. Not a single feather, poop streak, or snot smear is left on any window. What kind of madness is this?

a TWO GOOD DAY

You will have to look at the pictures from the bottom to the top. The very bottom is of me going up the sidewalk to the nursing home. Then I am getting closer. Finally you can see me at the door. (Pee S. Those are my mom's feet reflected in the door.) I went there to do a very much good thing for the people. The next pictures show me with some of the very nice people and the lady who was helping me learn my job there. She was very much nice to me. I think her name is Miss Diane. I tried to do everything she wanted me to. It was a GRRRReat day. When we left there I felt very much good about myself. I sat on 16 people's laps today. I will show you some more pictures some other day.

Mom had a bunch of papers to read and write on. She really liked this stuff that was on the bottom of one of them.

It was said a long time ago by a man named John Wesley. This is what he said.

Do all the good you can

By all the means you can

In all the ways you can

In all the places you can

To all the people you can

As long as you ever can.

It may not show up here the way it is supposed to. It should be one line for every set of these. But anyway you will get the idea of what J. Wesley had to say. I like it. Mom likes it too.

BUTT WAIT... THAT ISN'T EVEN ALL OF WHAT I DID TODAY. I also bought another big 50# bag of dog food for the shelter. I delivered it, and some of my pretty new toys, for the sad and frightened dogs.

It may have been April First... Butt it was very much important day for me.

When I got home I went outside and just ran and ripped and dug holes and just celebrated pure Dachshund Happiness.

Not the way to start the day

Today Vacula got loose!! Mom was on the phone and dad was on the 4-wheeler pushing over a big pile of dirt. I tried to make my emergency emergency emergency noises but they would not listen. I almost didn't make it behind my 'cliner chair in time. Vacula sucked up every bit of my food and all of my snackes and even my water.

April Fool !! he he he