I am MAYOR F. Furter and You will address me as Mayor Mayor Furter or YOUR SUPREME MAJESTY while in my Courtroom.
Today we will be hearing the HIDEOUS story about the WONTON Destruction of Poor Sasha's Awesome Possum Pizza Truck. This Occurred on our Beloved Back to School Day BASH Wed. Sept. 12, 2012 .
Miss SASHA Please show us EXHIBIT #1
Here it is Frankie... THIS WAS my Possum Pizza Truck....
Please refer to me as MAYOR FURTER... Or Mayor.... or YOUR SUPREME MAJESTY...
OK, Mayor.... HERE is a picture of what my Possum Pizza truck... USED to look like.
May I approach your High Chair?
BENCH.... Sasha this is called a BENCH!! Approach...
OH YES... that fur SURE is the way your truck LOOKED when Ernie and I ate our Morning Snack, and LUNCH, and Afternoon Snack. It was a THINGY of BEAUTY... I must say.
So tell this court what happened and HOW it MADE you FEEL.
OH FRANKIE... oooops... Sorry, I mean... Your Supreme Majesty.... It was AWFUL ... just terrible... I was MAD and SAD and I felt like POOPING... a HOOOOOOGE PILE OF IT...
See what happened , Your HONORABLE is this.... PUDDLES
Puddles...... NICE DUDS... VERY appropriate fur TODAY... NOW... PLEASE sit down and Wait your TURN... IF you even GET a turn that is.
OMD OMD OMD..... SASHA... the EVIDENCE speaks fur itself. Not to mention that the Street Crew... Reported
Chief Sarge, Do you have a report of this incident?
Yes, Cussin Frankie I...
THWAP.... You KNOW you are to refer to me as MAYOR when in Court...
OOOPS , Sorry MAYOR... YES, Here is my Report:
Please READ it into the Record, Chief Sarge.
Incident Report
Officer: Sarge, Chief of Police, Blogville
Date: September 12, 2012 Time: All Afternoon Long
Violation: Unauthorized Use of Motor Vehicle and Disorderly Conduct
Accused: Puddles Duddles Rain…um…um…hmmm…
Witnesses: Half of Blogville’s Residents
Primary Victim: Sasha
Description: This officer responded to report of the unauthorized use of a motor vehicle. Specifically, Ms Sasha’s Awesome Possum Pizza Truck. Witnesses report Ms Rainwhatever did obtain keys to said snack truck and proceeded to abscond with said vehicle. While operating said Awesome Possum Pizza Truck, she did, on multiple (really lots & lots) occasions commit the following violations: driving recklessly, squealing tires and hollering in violation of Blogville’s noise ordinance, while driving with one paw she did litter by slinging awesome possum pizzas into the streets and targeting residents, harassed citizens with soggy spit wads, threw a water balloon at the Blogville School Bus, and eventually did lose (total) control of the motor vehicle resulting in a collision and damages to the snack truck. Fortunately, no one was injured, though many Blogvillians were really testy about the pizza splatters and slobbery spit wads.
A copy of this report is available for insurance purposes and will be provided as an exhibit for Mayor’s Court.
Citation issued by: Sarge, Chief of Police
OK.... NOW then...
Are there any Witnesses to this CRIME???
*&^% ^$%^# @$#% *^$%#@ ((&***^%)@((*&W#_++!@$%#$(@&&@(# *%#%$^&&*()$
THWACK... OKAY... QUIET in the Courtroom... I can't lissen to all of you at once. I see about 87 paws up. Just keep them UP... IF you saw PUDDLES Driving the Possum Pizza truck in a WILD and DIS WRECKABLE Manner? Let me count.. 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,......... 85,86,87. FINE... That is what I thought.
PUDDLES.... I think that the PRO POND errrrrr ANTS of EVIDENCE Proves the Case
I, Mayor Frankie Furter find you Guilty ! I sentence you to a PERIOD ..... OMD OMD I just made a FRANKIE FUNNY fur everybuddy.. SENTENCE... PERIOD.. Get it??? I crack myself up. BUTT I DIGRESS.. I Sentence you to.... 3 Days and nights of NO Huntin, Gruntin, Squirrel Deadin.. and NO DRIVING... of ANYTHINGY.
THWACK.... Court's Disjoined.