Monday, September 24, 2012

Blogville MAYOR's COURT,,, NOW IN SESSION

THWACK.....     Order in the Court...     
    I am   MAYOR F. Furter and You will address me as   Mayor    Mayor Furter   or YOUR SUPREME MAJESTY   while in my Courtroom.     

Today we will be hearing the HIDEOUS story about the WONTON Destruction of Poor Sasha's Awesome Possum Pizza Truck.     This Occurred on our Beloved Back to School Day BASH Wed. Sept. 12, 2012 .   

Miss SASHA    Please show us EXHIBIT #1
   Here it is Frankie...   THIS WAS my Possum Pizza Truck....    
Please refer to me as MAYOR FURTER...  Or Mayor....   or    YOUR SUPREME MAJESTY...  
OK, Mayor.... HERE is a picture of what my Possum Pizza truck... USED to look like.
May I approach your High Chair?   
    BENCH.... Sasha   this is called a BENCH!!      Approach...
OH YES... that fur SURE is the way your truck LOOKED when Ernie and I ate our Morning Snack, and LUNCH, and Afternoon Snack.   It was a THINGY of BEAUTY... I must say.

    

 So tell this court what happened and    HOW it MADE you FEEL.  
OH FRANKIE...    oooops... Sorry,   I mean...   Your Supreme Majesty....   It was AWFUL ... just terrible...    I was MAD and SAD and I felt like POOPING...   a HOOOOOOGE PILE OF IT...
     See what happened , Your HONORABLE is this....     PUDDLES   had too much to drink...AGAIN  DECIDED TO take my AWSOME POSSUM PIZZA TRUCK FUR UN JOYFUL   JOY RIDE...   AND JUST LOOK AT WHAT SHE DID TO IT!!!!!     Waaaah  Whine   Whimper Sniff   Sniffle   ...        Does anybuddy have a Snot Rag???    


Puddles......     NICE DUDS...   VERY appropriate fur TODAY...     NOW...   PLEASE sit down and Wait your TURN...         IF you even GET a turn that is.

OMD OMD OMD.....    SASHA...    the EVIDENCE speaks fur itself.    Not to mention that the Street Crew... Reported   eating pizza off the streets and sidewalks and outta the trees and off the second floor of several buildings fur DAYS    Having to clean up spilled pizza fur Three delicious Days.        I can certainly see the Damage and I could SMELL the possum fragrance fur myself.
 Chief Sarge,   Do you have a report of this incident?
Yes, Cussin Frankie I...
THWAP....    You KNOW you are to refer to me as MAYOR when in Court...
OOOPS , Sorry MAYOR...  YES,  Here is my Report:
Please READ it into the Record, Chief Sarge.


Incident Report
Officer: Sarge, Chief of Police, Blogville
Date: September 12, 2012 Time: All Afternoon Long
Violation: Unauthorized Use of Motor Vehicle and Disorderly Conduct
Accused: Puddles Duddles Rain…um…um…hmmm…
Witnesses: Half of Blogville’s Residents
Primary Victim: Sasha
Description: This officer responded to report of the unauthorized use of a motor vehicle. Specifically, Ms Sasha’s Awesome Possum Pizza Truck. Witnesses report Ms Rainwhatever did obtain keys to said snack truck and proceeded to abscond with said vehicle. While operating said Awesome Possum Pizza Truck, she did, on multiple (really lots & lots) occasions commit the following violations: driving recklessly, squealing tires and hollering in violation of Blogville’s noise ordinance, while driving with one paw she did litter by slinging awesome possum pizzas into the streets and targeting residents, harassed citizens with soggy spit wads, threw a water balloon at the Blogville School Bus, and eventually did lose (total) control of the motor vehicle resulting in a collision and damages to the snack truck. Fortunately, no one was injured, though many Blogvillians were really testy about the pizza splatters and slobbery spit wads.
A copy of this report is available for insurance purposes and will be provided as an exhibit for Mayor’s Court.
Citation issued by: Sarge, Chief of Police

OK....      NOW then...

Are there any Witnesses to this CRIME???     
*&^%        ^$%^#      @$#%    *^$%#@ ((&***^%)@((*&W#_++!@$%#$(@&&@(#          *%#%$^&&*()$
THWACK...        OKAY... QUIET in the Courtroom...  I can't lissen to all of you at once.    I see about 87 paws up.     Just keep them UP...   IF you saw PUDDLES Driving the Possum Pizza truck in a WILD and    DIS WRECKABLE  Manner?        Let me count..   1,2,3,4,5,6,7,......... 85,86,87.     FINE...   That is what I thought.
PUDDLES....     I think that the PRO POND errrrrr ANTS  of EVIDENCE    Proves the Case of Bud   against you.   I, MAYOR FRANKIE FURTER see no reason to CONTINUE discussing this HORROR...       You have gone too far this time.   You have come between   US and our SNACKS...     WHAT WERE YOU THINKING????        Did you have Water Balloons on your BRAIN?       Nobuddy minded the Spit Wads in their furs too much  or gettin Stung by Rubbery Bands, PAINFUL TACKS ON CHAIRS..  or Even the pretty funny  PULL MY TAIL signs.... BUTT... YOU STOLE OUR  SASHA's  Awesome POSSUM PIZZA TRUCK!!!   You ripped about Blogville like a Squirrel on Steroids Screaming like a BAN SHE and scaring little Puppies and Kitties.  
I, Mayor Frankie Furter find you Guilty !     I sentence you to a PERIOD  .....  OMD OMD  I just made a FRANKIE FUNNY fur everybuddy.. SENTENCE... PERIOD.. Get it???   I crack myself up.   BUTT I DIGRESS..        I Sentence you to....    3 Days and nights of NO Huntin, Gruntin, Squirrel Deadin.. and NO DRIVING... of ANYTHINGY.   
THWACK....     Court's  Disjoined.  

50 comments:

Roo said...

BOL! OMD! This is the most serious Blogille event in the history of Blogville! So Puddles is on house arrest? Um what happens if she breaks the rules of her sentence? :P

Waggin at ya,
Roo

Uji, Izzy, Ziggy + Missi said...

Wee has to speek in Miss Puddles de-fence wee dids nots see or heer anifings at alls durin da Back to skool bash, as far as wee wos aware Miss Puddles wos her usual happisome, sweet selfs. As Charakter witnesses wee has to say Miss Puddles has always been da modle citizen wen arounds us, polite, helpfuls an veri kinds. Likkle Missi does looks up to Miss Puddles a grate deel please do nots make likkle Missi all broken hearted bi lockin Miss Puddles up

Lovs
Da K Krew
xxxxxxxxx

wallaceandsamuel said...

WOW!! First off that was almost as good as an episode of "Suits"; and b) well we don't actually have anything else to say, other than we now know that the long paw of the law will find you...even if you live in Blogville!

Wally and Sammy

♥Mona + Weenie + Mommy, too♥ said...

Poor Puddles!! Will that girl ever learn?

Great job on the convicton, but it sure will be quite around blogville for the next 3 days.

Sniff ya later.........Weenie

Rubie and Poots (her Mum) said...

There was a lot of evidence stacked up against Puddles, and a lot of witnesses, so I guess if you do the crime you gotta cop the time! I'm just sorry I missed it!!!

Tail Wuggles, Rubie xxx

Mr. Pip said...

Chomp,chomp, I OBJECT ,chomp, chomp! Your honor, may I approach the bench? OK, maybe someone could give me a little lift this chair.

As I was saying, this is a travesty of justice. Miss Puddles was only trying to protect our fair citizens from the vermin up to no good, possums gone bad.

My client has a long history of vermin catching - exhibit A - dead groundhog, dead squirrel, dead possum. These creatures cause much fear and loathing among the peeps. Why my assistant barely goes out into the backyard at night for fear of seeing one of these beady eyed monsters. Miss Puddles is doing a public service!

And about the pizza van incident - you do know that possums like to play dead ...and wait until the perfect moment to awake (from the dead) and create havoc. Well, that's what happened ...they woke and my brave client drove them straight out of town into a ditch. No more possums ...

Your honor, she should be getting an award not a citation.

Pip
Attorney at Law
Burger, Bacon & Cheese

Madi and Mom said...

Here come da judge, here come de judge yada yada yada, Puddles Duddles Rainwater is actually taking the fall (thankfully she doesn't have far to fall) for several others who shall remain nameless. This action in it self proves that Puddles is a civic minded and loyal friend...therefore I ask that her sentence amended to just no cussing at the stooooopid neighbors and NO cheetos for a week
Sincerely
Madi(son) D. Cat

Shelle Pennington said...

We think she should have had community service, too.

:)

Shelle, Milo, Dixie and Newby,
http://simpaticodreams.blogspot.com/

(A)FSS and Alasandra said...

We thinks you let her off to easy.

Mr. Pip said...

Ladies and gentleman of the jury ...may I present Exhibit B - cheeseburgers. What does it have to do with the case? Nothing, just thought you might be hungry.

houndstooth said...

I have known Puddles for a long time and I can't imagine that she would do that! I'm sure that if she really stole Sasha's truck, the damage would be much, much worse, not just to the truck, but to the whole town!

Bunny

Molly The Wally said...

BOL funny. Poor Puddles no squiggle deadin is so harsh. Show leniency your worship. Have a lovely Monday in court .
Best wishes Molly

Sarge said...

Hey Mayor!
Wow, great job presiding over this big mess! What I really need to know is this: Did you arrange for donuts in the break room during recess? That's important, you know. Well, since she's been convicted, I'm gonna have a HORRIBLE time finding one of those house-arrest-ankle-cuff jobies small enough for her doxie legs. Gosh, I'll need another donut fur sure. I might have to superglue it to her ankle. BOL
Grr and Woof,
Sarge, COP

GOOSE said...

WHAT?! Now Mr. Mayor, Your High Supreme Judge type Dog, you now I have total respect for you. But I some how think you have been blinded to the truth of the matter. I was there, it was not all that bad, and I think I did see some "deaded" critters come "back to life" in that truck and if it was not for Puddles who knows what could have happened to the good citizens of your fair city. I shutter to think about it. Puddles is way to modest to tell how she saved the day, let a lone the first day of school. Please Mr. Honorable Mayor, reconsider. If not, then I will just have to visit my friend, a hero really, in the Big Dog House. I noticed that you did not say she could not drink. I guess I will sit with her and bring all the beer and Cheetos I can find to get her through this. You see Mr. Mayor that's what friends do for each other, get them through.
Blessings,
Goose

3 doxies said...

Withs all due respect FRan...er, your honor...has you lost your mind...NO HUNTIN' fur 3 days???????? Omd, what happen when Blogville is over run with squirrels, ground hogs, chip munks, and possums? What will da citizens of dis fine city do with out me? Hang on, I has to fart......

Okays, dats betters. As I was sayin'...does you reaally think dis would be good fur da city?

Puddles...convict

animal lover, quilt lover said...

Lana I can not read all that post of yours but wanted to come over to say THANK YOU!!!!! You are a good friend and I am broken and you know how that feels!!! Thank you so much for your friendship!!!

marley said...

Can I play Puddles in da movie?

Fiona, as typed by Dr. Liz said...

Your Honorable Mr. Frankie Furter, we would like to speak on behalf of Miss Puddles Duddles Rainwhatever. While we don't think that speaking of her character would help her case much, we would like you to consider that Miss Puddles does NOT look good in stripes and should thus be released on her own recognizance and all charges dropped on the basis that an even great fashion crime would be committed if she were forced to wear such unsuitable attire.

*most humbly*
-Fiona and Abby the Hippobottomus

Susie and Sidebite said...

Heeheehee, Puddles, cause of this we didn't get any pizza.

Your Pals
Susie & Bites

stellaroselong said...

Mr. Mayor did you ever consider puddles may have had a medical condition like "low blood sugar" and her brain got all foggy and she didn't realize just what she was doing?
Stella Rose

Finn said...

Very fair verdict Frankie, very fair!

Casey said...

Your Honorableness, I just wanted to say that Miss Rainwater is a fine citizen of Blogville. Since this is a furst offense (or at least the furst time she got caught), I hope you will be lenient. What will we do when we're all overrun with vermin in those three days of no hunting?!

Team Beaglebratz said...

In case Lawyer Pip don't git here - we Beaglebratz wood like tue offer this bit of info ---

we B-leeve thiz case SHOOD B thrown out - yes, the case shood b thrown out with the trash! There iz NO proof - the police report sez the name of the accuzed iz "Rain…um…um…hmmm…" The police haf got the WRONG doxie - in fact, how due we even know a doxie wuz even involved? Lookit how big that vehicle iz then lookit the size of the accuzed.

Just sumthin'tue think'boutz.
Shiloh'n Shasta

Madi and Mom said...

MOL FRANKIE Mom just added our phone # to the National Do Not Call list!
Hugs Madi

The Cat From Hell said...

Mes thinks yous should has thrown books at Puddles! What wanton disreguard!
Kisses
Nellie
PS the pizza was pawsome though

3 doxies said...

Bwhahahaha...sees what happens...I is gonna be RICH AND FAMOUS when they makes a movie bout me!!!!!!
Shall I gets you some Kool-Aid? I'll send you my pawtograph too...as I head to LA on da production of my movie.
Did I meantion I was gonna be RICH?

Puddles...convict turned RICH

The Army of Four said...

Wow. This is like an episode of that "Law and Order" show!
Play bows,
Zim

Junior, Orion and Sammy said...

But, you already sentenced her and we didn't even get to vouch for her! We are certain she didn't do all those bad things you are talking about. Puddles in the very picture of angelic! ;)

Corbin said...

I think this is all a matter of mistaken identity. It wasn't really Puddles after all, but Whitney in a Puddles disguise!

When are auditions for Puddles leading man for her new film??? I'm going to be first in line!
-Corbin

The Websters said...

OH NO! We are in desperate need of hunters! I can't even tell you how many more opossums are living next door.

Nora

Bouncing Bertie said...

Well that was quite an awesome court report, your mayoral majesty imperial highness supreme being Frankie (is that respectful enough?).

But tucked in the middle of all the reported shenanigans, I gleaned one most disturbing fact.

You mentioned that Blogville has a NOISE ordinance!!!

How can this possibly be?

I am voicing my objections MOST VOCIFEROUSLY.

Toodle pip!
Bertie.

Nola said...

BOL BOL BOL
NOLA

chicamom85 said...

Mayor Furter, Sarge Puddles and esteemed members of the court. I must as I have no choice accept your verdict. I agree that sending Puddles to jail would not be good for anybody as we might end up with a whole jail house full of Puddles wannabes. What you don't seem to understand is that stopping her from deading things hurts our business more as I need the meat for the pizzas. I am disappointed that you didn't include a period of no beer and cheetos which I think would have been more appropriate. Wait what am I thinking, Puddles would go looney without beer and cheetos and who knows what would happen then. I accept your verdict and I thank you for the fairness in which you conducted this court proceeding. Will she be wearing a tether which goes off when she approaches a squirrel or possum?? Just wonderding beclaws she and I were gonna go out later so she could teach me to do some dea...oops I mean some nature walks in the woods by her house. I am exhausted and I am glad this matter can be put to rest.

Loveys Sasha

Remington said...

I believe you were fair in the sentencing....Now I hope my Sweet Sasha can rest....it has really upset her....

Remington said...

I believe you were fair in the sentencing....Now I hope my Sweet Sasha can rest....it has really upset her....

chicamom85 said...

Frankie...er Mayor Furter, I just found out our insurance covered 86,999 gazillion so we only owe 1 penny. I am gonna try to hit Puddles up for it, since I am broke.

Loveys Sasha

Patrice and Higgins said...

No Squirrel Deadin'....now that is some serious kinds of punishment!!

~Higgins

Princess Jasmine said...

Oh my kittycatness, what a to do. We here in the UK will start a Free Puddles group hee he :)xx

scotsmad said...

We think she should be fined as well. Maybe a few cartons of Cheetos and a few of beer so we can have a huge Blogville Forgiveness Party!

XXXOOO Daisy, Bella & Roxy

What she drinkin' her own Kool-Aid by any chance?

Murphy said...

You are a very fair and just judge/Mayor!! We think you should have your own TV show!

Your friends,

Murphy & Stanley

Smile With Your Tail said...

This is some serious business right here. Although I'm sure Puddles said she never done it!

BOL

Slobbers

Sankissjuice said...

This is called a BENCH...lol

We just sent Frankie and Sarge THE award. Go pick it up. Make us happy, write us a story or two :)

Sankissjuice

Mango said...

That Puddles knows how to throw a party! Woo hoo! Plus she looks totally hot in that striped outfit.

Slobbers,
Mango

Lorenza said...

I.... am.... speechless....
Kisses and hugs
Lorenza

Mr. Pip said...

Yawn ...big stretch ...what did I miss?

Are you ready to hear my counter argument? Hello ...is anybody there? Why is the court room dark?

Sankissjuice said...

Frankie, we love your idea of giving to as many bloggers as you want. Well, if the girls don't mind having balls, they can grab the badge too. Hehe, no worries, I am making a brand new award just for the ladies (ahem ahem, you wives included). That way everyone get to share their stories.

Sankissjuice

Two French Bulldogs said...

oh my word. How much is bail!
Benny & Lily

kissa-bull said...

maybe puddles can toot and make the officer pass out and makes a run for it
go puddles!!

pibble sugars
brinks and bella

KB said...

Your Supreme Majesty - I believe that you have overstepped your power. Puddles is innocent, and should be able to do as she pleases. We will all be there to protest in a Pizza Truck.

Jan's Funny Farm said...

We're not sure what to think, Your Honor. But Puddles seems pretty happy about the verdict so we guess all is well.

Um, who pays for the truck?