Thursday, May 14, 2015

Case #87-11 Bertie vs .... THEM

ROXY...... are you Dressed and READY fur TRIAL???      Bertie will be meeting us at the Court House...   ARE YOU READY???
    Almost.... Ernie.....  I just need to gather the Visual Aides and my Glasses...
OK..... Let's GO...   You KNOW how CRANKY   Judge gets when we are even 87 seconds late...

 HERE we GO...... and HERE comes   BERTIE.....           Now LASS. don't be pullin any of your Sniffin of what is in my BADGER FURS Sporran.... and   NO lookin under my KILT...

RIGHT BACK AT 'CHA....    Laddie   if you Ken what I'm Sayin...           Why don't I get a Feather on MY Cap???       .....  OH and don't furget.... HERE you are the   PROCURATUR  FISCAL   not the Pawsecuting Attorney...     and DON'T..   be sayin  PHYSICAL or FECAL  Procuratur...    
 Here Bertie   you sit between Roxy and Me...       HERE comes FRANKIE...

ALL RISE....  

ARE all Pawties Present and Ready fur TRIAL???
We are, your Honestlyness.
GOOD....    Court is in SESSION
    {{{THWAAAAAAAP}}}
 Your Hospitable....  We would like to  begin with some Visual Aids....  that my Lassie has ready...
Could we please have the LIGHTS?    
This is our client has fur your Pawroosal...     Bertie will you please Read this into the record?
Thank you Ernie....   I swear this is the Truth...   it all happened on or about .....


THURSDAY, 30 APRIL 2015

A letter to the Big Boss re HOME ALONE


30th April 2015

Dear Head of the Company that Employs Gail,

Re: HOME ALONE


I hope you don’t mind me writing to you like this. Really, to be honest, I wanted to infiltrate the office during one of your recent meetings about company restructuring, and liven things up by sinking my teeth into your ankles, but Gail felt such action might be prejudicial to my case.

From this you will perceive that I am not a happy bunny right now. Actually I am not a bunny at all, but a wire-haired fox terrier with an international following on social media.

OK, first of all I do want to thank you for letting Gail take time off work to care for her sick mother earlier this year. That was awfully nice of you, and awfully nice for me too, as I got to stay in Nottingham with Gail, and not be left at home for much of the day while she goes to work.

Oh but I got such a nasty shock a couple of weeks ago when Gail finally returned to the office. And I was most puzzled ‘cos she keeps telling me that the low oil price means company has little business, but her working day seems to have lengthened by at least an hour, and she never ever comes home to visit me at lunchtime any more. OK, so my lovely dog walker does take me out, but still it’s not the same.


When I queried this longer day, Gail told me that the company has closed the office near to our house as  a cost cutting measure, and she now has to drive (the horror!) 17 miles to work in Banchory. But Gail, I said, surely the firm still has a base in Aberdeen? And Gail said yes indeed they do, but there is supposedly no space for her in that particular office.

Now, Mr Big Boss, I don’t know if you are personally acquainted with Gail but if not, I would like to point out that she really doesn’t take up much room. The leg muscles may have filled out a bit on the recent cycling holiday, but still, I feel sure she could easily be squeezed into some small corner in the Aberdeen premises, which are only a ten minute bike ride from my our house.

Gail tells me that people who work in the oil industry are often expected to relocate to the opposite side of the globe at the drop of a hard hat, and she feels that complaining about a half hour drive to work, most of which is along a pretty country road with little traffic, is not something that will engender much sympathy.

Well that’s as maybe, but I have a suspicion that even the toughest of oilmen has a softer side, one that may be amenable to manipulation when confronted with an adorable but rather lonely wee dog with a plaintive expression on his face.



Please let Gail work in Aberdeen again. PLEASE!

Yours respectfully,
Bertie (not Bouncing right now).

P.S. In the event that I do not receive a positive response by return of post, you should be aware that I am in discussions with my friend Ernie the Attorney, from top US law firm Von Schnitzel, Ketchum and Dedum, about how to take this matter further...

Now  Bertie.   Are there any others who are aware of this....
CERTAINLY.....   I made all this PAWblic Knowledge...  Right on MY BLOG.
And have you had any RELIEF from this UNBELIEVABLE situation, Laddie?  
      NO Ernie I have NOT.....  I am STILL being   In Car Sir Eighted fur nearly 87 hours each day.
Whine Wiffle   Sniffle....   it is SO difficult to Think about Let alone... Speak of...   THAT is why I did chews to retainerate YOU and your Paw Furm...    
That is very understandable...     
    Your Honorarium ....      we feel that Bertie is SUFFERING from this situation.... and that there is NO REASON why his Miss Gail can NOT work from the venue which allows her to attend to my client's every need...     She is known to be SMALL and QUITE AGILE....     We see NO REASON why the Bully Bossy Guy can Not find a small CUBBY fur completing her duties.  Pawhaps even allow her to work right from Bertie's Domicile...   so that he is NOT abandoned  fur like 87 hours per day.    
    We ask that you inform BOSSY GUY that Bertie's Bladder is NOT the size of an OIL DRUM...  and that they PLEASE Explore other options fur Miss Gail's Labor Location...      We ask that you explain that Bertie MISSES Miss Gail...   and that Bertie has the FULL support of his MULTITUDE of FURENDS in this matter.       If this HORROR is not RECTUMfied... we Dread to think what may happen...  it could spur an International Incident...   This Bossy Guy needs to be warned....   that he could receive BOXES and BOXES of FULL POOP BAGS....    
{{{THWAP}}}    Ernie...    I think that you might be getting a bit Graphic and 
  CLOSE to trying to take over MY job...
I believe that I have enough information to Paw Seed with a Finding...
     I will give you that TOMORROW....
COURT is ADJOURNEYED
{{{  THWAPPppp}}}
OKAY......   Roxy....  where are my CLUBS and my Golfing Togs....   Bertie and I need to have some time together to Unwind and RELAX...
    Come Laddie.... let's HIT the LINKS...

SIGH......    Here Ernie.....        

And Bertie....  this Bag is fur YOU....   I cut Holes in it so you can see...    an no buddy will recognize YOU...           
THANKS Lass...     I think I would have pawferred that Ernie play Golf in his KILT to ... that get up.  If you ken what I'm saying.    

33 comments:

Madi and Mom said...

BRAVO BRAVO BRAVO JUSTICE WILL PREVAIL!!! IF WE HAVE TO WE CAN GO OVER TO SCOTLAND PUT OUT PAWS TOGETHER AND BUILD A ITTY BITTY ADDITION ONTO THE BUILDING THEN THE BULLY BOSSY MAN WILL HAVE NO EXCUSE!!

I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE YOUT MATCHING TARTAN ATTIRE!!
HUGS MADI YOUR BFFF

Lassiter Chase and Benjamin said...

No looking under the kilt! LOL.

Mark Muller said...

BRAVO to the bestest court on slice earth!
You looked fantabulous in your scottish clawstume, that tartan and plaid has totally the IT factor, right?
I will collect some of that bags... just in case... and if you see my mom on the green, please chase her home. I'm starving and the salmon tarte is burnt, because my dad furgot it in the oven...
easy rider

Julie said...

Oh I was sooo looking forward to seeing your outfits and you didn't disappoint!!!
So what ARE you wearing under your kilts?????
Loves and licky kisses
Princess Leah xxx

Yamini MacLean said...

Hari OM
hooooooooooo..hooooooooooooooooooo..hoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo....is that the skirl o' the pipes ah kin hear yonder.????

Earnie, you totally Roxy the plaid, guy!!! OMD this is such a serious matter though. I think you argued the case most FOURSfully and I am surten shure Hizzoner will bring fine verdict. Hugs and wags, YAM-aunty xxx

Oz theTerrier said...

Oh dawg, this case is HUGE! HUGE! I don't know how Hizz Honorarium Judge Frankie will determine the outcome of this case. Will he be issuing arrest warrants for Gail's boss?!? And I am out of town tomorrow so I will barely be able to find out the outcome on my phone. Sigh....
Oz

Emma said...

Love your outfits! Nothing better than a real man in a skirt!

Two French Bulldogs said...

Mom is out of control laughing! Those outfits BOL
Snorts,
Lily & Edward

Amber DaWeenie said...

Big companies just get too bossy and too big fur dere britches...Speaking of britches....love dat kilt! HeHeHeHe (Wit NO britches) HeHeHe

Kismet said...

Things could be worse. If the oil business can move you around, Gail could have been sent to Saudi Arabia for this summer and North Dakota for next winter.

stellaroselong said...

Oh you did an excellent job Ernie, my mom is very lucky that she only lives one block or two from her work. She can see us more.
stella rose

Oreo said...

Justice will prevail. If not, you my dear Bertie can come live with me and Tom. He has a spare room upstairs that would be pawfect for you !!

wags
Addison

Sketching with Dogs said...

Love the coordinating outfits!
Dip and Elliot x

Idaho PugRanch said...

You two look fabulous in your tartan outfits! WE are lucky that Dad comes home everyday for lunch cause Mom's work is 30 miles away.
hugs
Mr Bailey, Hazel & Mabel

Bouncing Bertie said...

Oh my goodness I am just SO RELIEVED that Ernie did not turn up to court in his golfing togs. What a relief that he has such a trustworthy assistant to advise on appropriate dress code. Although I am not sure that this burka like thingie that I am now wearing is going to improve my golf swing any…
Oh but I am still nervous ahead of Frankie's judgement tomorrow.
Ernie, would it be appropriate to slip him a bottle of single malt whisky this evening to, er, encourage him to find in our favour? My personal favourite is Highland Park.
Toodle pip!
Bertie (just a bag of nerves, in truth).

Misaki @ misadventuresofMisaki said...

nail-biting stuff!

Bella Roxy & Macdui said...

Yeah, maybe Bertie would pawfer pluggin' up the eye holes, so he doesn't have to see Ernie in that get up!

Oh, we hope Bertie can get some satisfaction. It's so hard to force a Boss man so far away from Court to DO what he SHOULD!

Murphy said...

First of all we were just taken back with Roxy's beautiful outfit. We think the clothing choices made for this case will really be helpful in rendering justice. And we just can't wait to see what the judge will decree!

Your Pals,

Murphy & Stanley

Susie and Sidebite said...

Well....Ernie DON"T wear a kilt while playing golf....somebody might make a mistake and hit the....ahhhhhhhhh....wrong thing,get me drift....cause you are free and natural under there.

Bites

♥♥ The OP Pack ♥♥ said...

We can't wait to hear the judge's decision - this could set a precedent for a lot of our humans out there!!!

Now no peeking under the kilt.

Woos - Ciara and Lightning

Mitch and Molly said...

Bummer there is no breezes in the courtroom. We always wondered what was under the kilt! Love the outfits!

Love ya lots♥
Mitch and Molly

Sarge said...

Wow, Ernst you and Roxy presented a most fabulous argument today! I'm sure His MopHeadedNess will thwap his thwapper in favor of Bertie. Holy cow that boss man will certainly wish he'd never been hauled before the court of common fleas in Blogville. Can't wait for the big decision!
Grr and Woof,
Sarge, Police Commish

Barb said...

Dear Ernie
We here in "OZ" are surprised that you took Roxie to court in a plaid, we are even surprised that she would want to have anything to do with GOLF yes golf was invented in Scotland, but the men responsible were not gentleman. For. Golf stands for
Gentlemen
Only
Ladies
Forbidden
Hugs from the Baker Boys

The Army of Four said...

What do we want? JUSTICE!
When do we want it? NOW!
... as long as it doesn't interfere with supper-dupper time!

Cammie!

Dory and the Mama said...

Ooooooo....we just know that Judge Frankie will come to a fair and just verdict!!
Smileys!
Dory, Jakey, Arty & Bilbo

Ruby said...

LOVES the outfits!!!!! And I loves the Golfing gear!! FABulous I say!!!
I thinks You can do nothin' butts WIN in those outfits!!
Kisses,
Ruby ♥
pees: can you stand over a steam grate so I can take a peek up your kilt??? BOL!!!

Sammy Sam said...

Oh boy, sounds like the fight is on.

M. K. Clinton said...

There surely cannot be a boss alive that would deny such a minor request. After all, she is a small human according to Bertie.

Charliedownunder said...

Crikey ..... I sure hope this gets 'rectumfied' quickly. I'm really worried about Bertie's bladder now that I know it's smaller than an oil drum and all....

marley said...

OMD...poor Bertie....dis will nivver do Frankieyeronnermypal

LBJ said...

It would take a pretty hard heart to resist that plea, especially when tendered by such a sweet face backed by a legal team that' not just brilliant but really snappy dressers.

Abby the Lab

Millie and Walter said...

We hope Frankie comes down hard on Gail's boss.

JoAnn Stancer said...

sweet outfits!!!!