Blogville's PAWples Court.. Now in Session

All RISE.... Mayor Frankie Furter is takin the Bench...

FF... Chief ... are you Ready?
S.. Yes Frankie... UMMMM I mean MAYOR
FF.. FRANCINE.. are YOU READY??
C.F. Yes Frankie
FF.. Miss Furter.. You are to address me as MAYOR.. when I am wearin my Judgie Wig... AND what is that PUP doing in Chambers? OFFICER of the Court.. Please escourt this little girrrrl out of her..
CF.. BUTT FRANKIE... my Little Ernestine is MY WITNESS...
FF.. I SAID... call me MAYOR
CF... Ok CUSSIN MAAAAAAAAArrrrrr... butt Ernestine is still my witness and I demand she stay with ME..
FF... Take the little one to the Hall and I will CALL he when we need her..
FF.. Now Chief... what is the nature of this ticket?
S. Mayor, I was on Snack Street and I saw... your Cussin FRANCINE driving all wrong..
CF... I was NOT... the center line is just TOOOOOOO skinny.. It isn't even as wide as a squirrel tail...
FF...... WAIT your TURN Cussin Francine.
FF Continue please Officer..
S... Well, I pulled her over and gave her a ticket and told her she was gonna have to do community service and..
CF.. Aiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeee.... Frankie.. he wants me to pick up POOPS
FF... ENOUGH.... YOU WILL address me as MAYOR... or it is gonna be WORSE.
S.. well she got her tail all in a twitch and started screamin and stuff..
CF... I did NOT scream... a LADY does NOT scream, isn't that right Fran..ummmm Mayor?
FF. WELL, Francine... I can tell RIGHT NOW that you are guilty as a squirrel with stuffie guts hanging outta his mouth... butt..
I'll be willing to listen to you fur about 87 seconds.
F... I want my little Ernestine with me... PLEASE..
FF.. OK... butt havin her bat her eyes at me... is NOT gonna help your case any. I'm just sayin.
Enter Ernestine...
HIIIIIIIIIIIII Cussin FRANKIE... Can I pull your Wig??? Can I sit in your chair ? Can I play with your hammer thingy? Can I make zoomies in this big room? Can I
FF... ERNESTINE.... QUIET.. You have to call me MAYOR
ef Why? Why do I have to? Why are you wearing that Wig Cussin Frankie? Is this your other house?
FF... ERNESTINE!!!! I SAID... QUIET.. SIT and be QUIET
ef.. Ok Cussin Frankie butt WHY? Why do I have to sit and why do I...
FF... SARGE... do you have that MUZZLE???


FF... OK... now Ernestine..... YOU are NOT allowed to ask ANY questions in this Room... NONE. OK...???
ef... yes Mayor. {{{whine}}}
CF.... NOW do you see what you have done Frankie... You big Bully.. You have caused my little tiny puppy to WHINE... I hope you are satisfied. AND just what am I supposed to do with this innocent little pup while I am Pickin up Strange POOPS?? Here sweetie you come over here and cuddle with me.. Francine will make it all better..
FF... OK... here is what is gonna happen... IF.. you promise NOT to drive us crazy.. HERE or on the streets of Blogville.. I
Will suspend your Fine and Community Service. OK.

CF... OH Yes Cussin Fraaaaan... oops.. Mayor.. I'll be sure not to be checkin my furs in the rear end mirror... while on Snack Street.
FF... OK.... Case Dismissed.


CF.... Hey cussin Sarge... Neener Neener Neener
S... GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
FF...... CLEAR THE COURT
Note to self: COUNT DAYS UNTIL SOMEBUDDY ELSE GETS ELECTED MAYOR!! I've been mayor fur like 87 weeks and THIS is the furst time I have had to hold court..and it WOULD have to be with Cussin SARGE and Cussin Francine... SHEESH

PAWlitical Science Class (PAWly Sigh)

Good Morning Class... Please take your seats and we will be ready to begin.
Please allow me to Introduce myself. I am the current mayor of Blogville. I was elected in November 2010 soon after my marriage to the Lovely Furst Ladies of Blogville, RUBY AND PENNY.

MACK.... Did you just stick your Name Tag on Sarge's BUTT???

Now... where was I ... Oh, yes...

Blogville has strict TERM LIMITS .. for Mayor one can only EVER be mayor TWICE and each term of office is fur ONE (1) year. THAT my furends means that TODAY I am announcing my intention to RUN FUR MAYOR... fur my Second... and FINAL time.
Running fur ANY PAWlitical Office is some serious bidness. One must have some very impawtant issues taken into consideration before making the final decision to Run. We will be discussing the Mostest imPAWtant of those.. a bit later butt the FURST thingy One MUST have is the total suPAWt of Ones FAMILY. Let me say right away that MY Wives (YOUR Furst Ladies) have given my re-election camPAIN.. their Paws Up. The Furter Pack is all about Service to OUR Community.

Excuse me... Ummmm SHAWNEE ?? Yes Dear, I'm wondering why it is you are runnin UP and DOWN the Steps all the time? What.. Oh. Well, YES they are STEEP and they Would kinda be like climbing one of the mountains that you LOVE to take us climbing on... butt there are no grrreat seeniks here in the lecture hall. I'm just sayin girrrrrl.

I would like to begin this class by answering TWO questions submitted by: Let me check my notes here.. a Pawlitician should ALWAYS check his/her FACTS before SPEAKING...

Ah YES... just as I thought.. these questions were from William the Scot.

1. What is the difference between a Grass Roots MOVEMENT and Astro Turf?

Excellent question, William. The difference is.. with a Grass Roots Movement... you Poop in the Yard. With Astro Turf... you find that on porches and decks.. and poop there. I(Frankie Furter) find that Pooping on the Roots of the Grass preferable.

2. Is every Dog/Cat going to get a Chicken in Every Pot? Another timely question and quite easy to answer. NO! After the recent and EVIL Squirrelism of the Blogville POOLS... I am going to work to ensure a SQUIRREL in every pot. BUTT that is NOT a PAWmise.

I suppose that MOST of you signed up fur this class beclaws you are interested in Helping somebuddy with THEIR camPAIN or ..... RUNNING One of Your OWN. Is that Right?????? After you have made sure your Family is ON BOARD you must start considering HOW TO GET FurFolks to ACTUALLY VOTE fur you. In other words... you've Gotta Get Your NAME OUT THERE.... and I'm NOT tawkin havin your mom or dad out there SCREAMIN fur you to COME!! Nope not that at all. You have to have a Voter... SEE and HEAR your NAME AT LEAST EIGHTY SEVEN (87) times... fur them to remember it. And HOW will you be doin THAT you wonder!! EASY PEASY... FURST you gotta get out and GIVE FurFolks STUFFS. YES, You GOTTA have some GRRRRREAT STUFFS to Pass OUT as your are Pressin PAWS on the CamPAIN Trail!! I see all of you out there SCRATCHIN your Butts right now. Wonderin WHAT is this guy tawkin about here? I can't be giving all MY stuffs away. NOT to worry... CamPAIN Giveaway stuffs are thingys that you gotta BUY and then give away.

RUBY...... stop Winkin at me, I'm having trouble thinkin.

Ummmmm Uji and Bertie need to STOP Squeakin those Stuffies... other furFolks can't hear over all that. THANKS Fellas... YES... you MAY Rip their Guts out.. QUIETLY, please.

Could somebuddy get the Lights... I have some Overheads of PAWsible Give Away thingys... LIGHTS OFF please.. OK THANKS!!

HEY......... You two in the second Row.... I can see you... DEX and LOU... you two STOP sniffin your neighbors!!! Sheeesh.. I can't believe such Pupish behavior.

Let's see what we have here on this furst overhead...

Look at these examples Carefully everybuddy. You gotta have stuffs that is WANTED and that will make the VOTER REMEMBER you as a GENEROUS PAWlitian. You MUST have YOUR NAME... and perhaps your SCENT on EVERYTHING you give away.

AND you have to have stuffs fur ALL ages and All SIZES and All INTERESTS. Stuffs like Bones and STICKS and Balls.

You MUST be SURE that you have Give Away stuffs that is aPAWpreeut fur ALL PAWsible VOTERS...

Now I am sure you are wondering WHERE you are supposed to go to GIVE the stuffs away.

Well, you gotta get yourself into EVERY PAWrade. and you walk along Waggin and Passing out your give aways along the entire route. You gotta get yourself invited to LOTS of Dinners of all sorts... like the Annual Feline Society Cat FISH Fry and Cheese tasting. Fur THAT audience I wouldn't take the same GIVE AWAY stuffs as to a meeting of the K-9 Zoomer Lodge.

KNOW YOUR AUDIENCE!!! Speakin of KNOWING your audience.. MACK... I need for you to come to the front of the class. Please write On the Chalkboard : I will not show my Teefs at my neighbors... 87 times

They will appreciate that you KNOW and UNDERSTAND their Wants and Needs.

And they will REMEMBER YOU on Election DAY!! Speaking of remembering thingys... Benny did you REMIND Lily that we are not supposed to make pee pee in the lecture hall???
Socks and Artemisia {{Sigh}} settle DOWN. I will be More than glad to give you a couple of Give Aways.... AFTER CLASS... IF IF you stop that Yowlin and be patient. {{SIGH, I just KNEW I should have scheduled MY class AFTER Pip's P.E. (pee everywhere) class so that you would all be worn out and ready to LISTEN.}}}

Yes indeed you gotta get your NAME out there and REMEMBERED and one of the best ways is by giving away grrrreat FREE Stuffs.

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The NEXT thingys that you MUST have are.... SIGNS !!

YES INDEED... SIGNS are Very much imPAWtant fur ANY election. Furst beclaws we all LOVE a good Sign... RIGHT?? I mean they are soooooo handy fur peeing on and all. BUTT they are also grrrreat fur THANKING Your Voting PAWbLICK fur their suPAWt... past and future.

A Good Quality Sign is worth its weight in Milkbones.
See what I mean about QUALITY... don't try to save money on your SIGNS. I put a BUNDLE in mine... as you can tell.

THESE are just SOME of the SIGNS that I (Frankie Furter fur Mayor) have used.

So NOW you are askin..... Where is this guy comin from... I can NOT afford all those FREE GIVE AWAY THINGYS AND SIGNS too!! How will I ever get Elected if I can't afford those two??? NOT TO Worry. THAT is something I am here to tell you about... HOW TO FUNd your CamPAIN.

Sammy Andy and Shelly... I don't think your neighbors can Hear me over your Purrrring. Could you hold it down a bit?

Now I am very much lucky to have a WONDERFUL Corporate sPAWnsor. Lucy Pays fur all my GIVE AWAYS and my SIGNS. YES SHE DOES!! I couldn't do it without her help. AND all I have to do is.... MENTION that she has... HUNDREDS of AVON PAWducts fur sale. Stuffs like Furs Colors and Spot Removers and a NEW PAWduct... GAS BE GONE.

Shop Lucy's Avon fur all your PAWsonal Needs.

Now if we can wake Pip Sarge Oskar and Shiver up... we will take our BREAK... Remember there is Chicken Stew and all the Pupsi Coola PAWducts you can eat and drink.. Right outside the Main Door.

I (MAYOR, Frankie Furter) will RESUME my PAWly Sigh CLASS.... PAWptly after Pip's P.E. class and NAP TIME. Please be sure to Pee before you come back in. I'm just sayin.

Don't furget to go to Crossed Paws and get your BARGAIN PRICED Sand-Script messages ordered... AND Buy a SLURP or two also...... My Re-election Crew is puttin up a SMALL Prize fur the the lucky one who GETS the Most SLURPS!!!! Lay on some Slurps and Let your Message be Seen!!! I'm just sayin.

To find links to ALL of the Activities go to one of these blogs:

http://www.sugarthegoldenretriever.com/

OR

http://sargespeaksout.blogspot.com/