Wednesday, March 30, 2016

Are you Ready fur somethingy HILARIOUS???

OKAY.....  Judge is over at the Court House...  or the Coffee Shop... or Somewhere and I (Ernie the Attorney) have the Blog all to MYSELF... and BOY HOWDY do I ever have a TALE to Tell you...
   NO PICTURES...   which you will prolly APPRECIATE when you hear this...

SUNDAY   Cussin Sarge came to spend the day...   Which was WARM and SUNNY as you can See....      WE were sitting on the front porch... talkin Blogville Bidness and stuffs... 


When the WIMMEN decided that we needed to take a death march  WALK...  so we put the moms on the Walkin Strings... and set off... up the street...     All was going GOOD until we got the the Pee Mail Station near OUR POND...      WE stopped to do some Pee Mail Reading and Somethingy must have set Sarge OFF... beclaws...
   ARE YOU READY FUR THIS???
I looked over and Sarge was getting "INTO PAWSITION"  To take some SHOOTER PRACTICE...    
    AND GUESS WHO... was in the LINE OF FIRE???      
NOT ME>>>>    I took off to the END of the Walkin String... and Suddenly MOM Started SCREECHING  like a Scalded Squirrel.... 
   "NO, NO SARGE.... don't do that on FRANKIE !!!"

BUTT it was TOOOOOOOO late from what I HEARD...  I did NOT LOOK...  I did NOT SNIFF....   I just Stretched the Walkin String and Mom's ARM as far out as I could...  beclaws...  I AM BROWN ENOUGH... if you Get my DRIFT...     YEP,   I guess Sarge must have taken Special Aim... and FIRED OFF  and SPLAT....  right on Frankie's HEAD...      
   there was Screaming and Screeching and YELLING and   then Suddenly   FRANKIE and Mom were HEADED fur HOME Faster than I ever did dream those ancient ones could EVER move...        Sarge and His mom and I...   trailed along behind....   listening to Mom say...  You have to have a BAFF, Frankie....  MOM will get that AWFUL STUFFS Off you...Darling...   COME ON Sweetie.... HURRY before "IT" Dries in your Furs...

Now, you may wonder, WHAT WAS FRANKIE DOING ???    HE was trying to PULL MOM down the Street... and he was WHINING and WHIMPERING and CRYING....    and going...  MOOOOOOOOMMMMMMM    get this OFFA ME....  GET THIS OFFFA ME...   Whine Whimper    MOOOOOOOMMMMM     HURRY ... get it off me...  it is getting in my EYES... and on my NOSE...  MOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMm       HELP    HELP   

BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaWwwwaaaaaaaaaaaaaH.....     isn't this HILARIOUS?
        OMD    Now like I said.... fur SOME REASON .... THIS TIME there were NO PICTURES  of the    SITUATION...       I can't EVEN Imagine WHY THAT IS...    can YOU???

So   when I got back into the Yard...
 I saw MOM  dragging     hauling   ASSisting  Frankie into the house and YELLING fur DAD to OPEN THE SHOWER CURTAINS...   and to GRAB the SOAP and TOWELS and Stuffs!!!    
   OH how I wish I had the NERVES to take a LOOK...   butt the KNOWING was Almost as good...

BaaaaaaWaaaah......        Frankie had to have a BAFF...       and it TOOK A LONG TIME...
         When they finally came outta the BAFF Room...  mom was saying stuffs like.... IT WAS ALL OVER HIS FACE and HEAD and EARS and NECK !!!        Sarge and I kept a LOW PROFILE.. and just Lissened and SNICKERED...   

Now DO  NOT  worry.... Cussin Sarge did NOT get in trouble...   it was Frankie's Fault fur being in the WRONG Place at the WRONG time...        
     
I just WISH that there had been PICTURES...  which I still don't understand    
    AND   I wish that I had pawsessed the NERVES to have actually LOOKED at Frankie...
I couldn't though... beclaws I just KNEW I would end up Rolling in the Street Laughing my Collar Off....         THIS is the FUNNIEST THINGY that Has EVER happened...     I'm tellin you that fur SURE...  

OMD OMD         I think somebuddy should sneak into Judge's CHAMBERS and Trade his "WIG" fur a TOILET BOWL BRUSH...    WAAAAHHHHHHHHH     WAAAAAAHHHHH   OMD OMD    WHO want to do that....??????    I'll Keep Watch fur you !!!     
   
BTW.....    Mom has    MORE....  NATURE's MIRACLE  on the Shopping list...    BaaaaaWaaaah...  
     Waaaaah    BaaaaaaWaaah....    
  You know that is fur using when SHOOTERS Accidently MISS FIRE... in the House and stuffs..

Frankie is SOOOOOOOOO mad about this... which makes it even FUNNIER...    
   I just keep sayin....  THAT'll Teach you not to stick your Nose in Other people's BIDNESS...   

         I know what I am getting him fur his BIRFDAY... a new bottle of TOILET WATER...   OMD.. I am CRACKING  MYSELF UP HERE...   

WHERE OH WHERE was the Flashy Beast when I WANTED it???

41 comments:

Mara said...

Not even one tiny little photo? What a shame, because I would have loved to see it as well.

Brom from Norway (but on holiday in the Netherlands)

Mark Muller said...

hahaha... that was a special kind of body painting. that kind of art is can be eggs-pensive so you can be hap-pee that it was for free this time :o) what will the other pups on that news-place think when they find only the half message because the other part landed on Frankie?

Emma said...

I can say from my own experience that is not fun! When I was a wee pup, like 11 weeks old, Katie peed all over me. Mom said it looked like a small child has scribbled on my back with a yellow highlighter. I had to have an immediate bath and Mom was madder than a hornet! Katie was in big trouble too because we think she did it on purpose. So sorry buddy that it happened to you. I was to young to grasp the gravity of the situation at the time, but for you, I would kick that guy in the sack if you know what I mean. Not nice.

Reilly-Denny Cowspotdogs said...

poor Frankie - he was bombed !

Zoe said...

Bol!!! How bout a re in act ment and get sum piccies?
Bol,!!!

♥Mona + Prissy + Angel Weenie♥ said...

Oh Ernie, that was too funny!! I needed a good laugh but poor Frankie.

The Mommy

Madi and Mom said...

MOL MOL MOL MOL MOL MOL ERNIE YOU ARE SO GOOD AT TELLING A TALE. OH THE VISUAL MOM HAS IN HER HEAD WILL NOT GO AWAY!!! LESSONS LEARNED THAT DAY.

SOME DAYS BEING VERTICALLY CHALLENGED IS BENEFICIAL OTHER DAYS IT JUST GETS YOU IN TO TROUBLE.
HUGS MADI YOUR BFFF

Sarge said...

Okay...welll.....um. I didn't really.... ahem...but I just... welllll it was only.... ahem

Okay, I got nuthin'

Lassiter Chase and Benjamin said...

Guess Sarge was trying to cover up an important pee-mail he read before Frankie had a chance to read the pee-mail. That's why Sarge fired away before Frankie had a chance to sniff the mail himself.

Sweet William The Scot said...

Frankie this is a quote and it did not come from me but here
“There are four kinds of dogs to avoid in the world: the assholes, the asswipes, the ass-kissers, and those that just will shit all over you.”
Get my drift. Sorry that happened to you my friend
Sweet William The Scot

C.L.W.STEP said...

Oh no! We have never done that, although I, Chester, peed on Joey dog once while he was squatting.

Casey said...

OMD!! Momma sometimes shouts out "Don't pee on your sister/brother!", but the other? NEVER!!

Uji, Izzy, Ziggy, Missi, Hiro and Momma Tea said...

OMD Poor Frankie, wee has a story similar wen Da Momster hads her furst ( hims wos veri well behaved unlikes us lots n hims wood walk off hims string all da time ). Well hers tooked her Sammy Dod to da big park ats da end ovs dere rd an dem hads a wondyfuls walk, dem saw da big dinomasores stachews n dem walked rounds da big boatin pond den ups rounds da pettin zoo ( on da outsides ovs corse butts Sammy Dod luvved da smells dere ) an den dem headed for da exit wen Sammy saw a big labradoor so hims bounded ova to play wivs him. Now Sammy Dod wos not a big dog hims wos abouts Hiro's size, well him n da labradoor hads a grand game ovs chase an Da Momster wos jus wotchin dem havin fun wen her gotted all perturbed, can yoo guess why ?
Da Labrodoor wos gettin into pawsition an as him dids Sammy forted it wos a good time to sniffs hims butt.................. dat labradoor hads da runny tummy n lets it loose all ova poor Sammy. It wents in hims ears, his nose his poor head n shoulders wos covered. All dat Da Momster cood do wos laff ( how meen ovs her ).
Dat Labradoors owner wos eva so sorrisome butts Da Momster sayd dese fings happen so nots to worri. Den Poor Poor Poor Sammy Dod hads to walks all da way homes covered in icky turdle.
Fankfully hims wos a shorthaired chap so it was not so hard to get hims all cleen again n hims wos a bits weird cos him likeds a baff.
Aniways wee did not wants Frankie to feel alone in hims upset bout turdle trubbles. It cood happen to ani one ovs us, Ziggy pees on Uji n Hiro quite often cos dem gets to close BOL
Lovs
Da K Krew
XxxxX

Two French Bulldogs said...

Oh Frankie you must have been a walking stink bomb
Snorts,
Lily & Edward

Bailey said...

OH Frankie we are so sorry. That sound terrible.

Murphy said...

OMD! OMD!! OMD!!! This is the funniest thing in the whole universe! Maybe you can do one of those courtroom sketches to reenact the scene? This will furever change the dynamics of power between you can Frankie! Of course any dog can get a little pee on their head but this is a whole other category! Frankie got Turd Soup all over his head! I sure hope Bentley and Pierre don't catch wind of this BOL! BOL!

Keep Calm and Watch Yer Head!

Murphy and Stanley

Murphy said...

OMD! OMD!! OMD!!! This is the funniest thing in the whole universe! Maybe you can do one of those courtroom sketches to reenact the scene? This will furever change the dynamics of power between you can Frankie! Of course any dog can get a little pee on their head but this is a whole other category! Frankie got Turd Soup all over his head! I sure hope Bentley and Pierre don't catch wind of this BOL! BOL!

Keep Calm and Watch Yer Head!

Murphy and Stanley

Kismet said...

Since most politicians are lawyers and most lawyers have political ambitions, Sarge thought he was doing a public service.

Bocci said...

Oh gees, this is funny! Someone had an extra bath!

Jans Funny Farm said...

Oh, poor Frankie. Jan keeps telling these dogs to watch what they are doing while on walks. Maybe now they'll listen.

Bouncing Bertie said...

Believe me Erie, with that fabulous description, no pictures are necessary. We can see (and smell) it all as if it happened in our back yard.
Toodle pip!
Bertie.

Sketching with Dogs said...

BOL, BOL, that was the funniest thing we read all day!
Brown enough, haha.
Dip and Elliot x

stellaroselong said...

Bahahahahhaahahahhah.......I am laughing so hard ....bahhahahahahahah......I fink it should be made into a Monday Night Movie..........bahahhahah.....wien the queen

Noodle4President said...

OMD! BAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! *breathes* BAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAH! *gasps for air* BAHAHAHAHAHAH!

Murphy said...

Our mom is still laughing about that!

Keep Calm & MOVE - I'm Gonna Poop!

Murphy & Stanley

♥♥ The OP Pack ♥♥ said...

BOL - we have seen that happen a few times around here, but we aren't saying who was the shooter or who was the victim:) Poor Frankie - we sure hope he doesn't learn that you shared this tale with us.

Woos - Ciara and Lightning

Bella Roxy & Macdui said...

Bwahaahaa! Sorry, I'm ROLLIN' like a squirrel in a tumble dryer! That was fantastic, Ernie! Didn't need any photos, I pictured it all....BWAHAAHAA! Wish I'd thought of lining up Sarge to get Frankie Farter back for all the mean comments he makes about my darling, handsome ♥♥Ernie♥♥!!!

Mitch and Molly said...

You poor thing, Frankie. I have lifted my leg on Molly before because she was in the wrong place at the wrong time. Molly knows better now plus mom yells really loud for her to move! Bummer about the bath.

The Army of Four said...

Oh, no!!!! Poor Frankie!!!
Cammie!

Idaho PugRanch said...

OOOPS!

Robin Whiskers said...

I'm relieved your "flashy beast" wasn't with you, Ernie, for reasons you might not understand! Poor little Frankie! Watch out though...he might see that you posted this! BOL!

Your Dachshund pal,
Christmas

LBJ said...

Oh NOSE Frankie! I hope Captain Craptastic felt at least a little remorseful! And to think on top of that you had to have a BAFF (Shudder). I hope the rest of the week is less exciting.

Smoochies
Abby Lab

Foley Monster, Pocket and River Song said...

Oh my. Poor Frankie. You know in some cities you have to pay a lot of money to have someone do that to you

Hailey and Zaphod and their Lady said...

LMAO! (IF if makes you feel better Phod has peed on Hailey's head a number of times)

Millie and Walter said...

Oh Frankie that is just awful. We hope Sarge apologized to you after you finished your bath.

The Daily Pip said...

Bawhahahahahahahhahahahaha! Oh Frankie, you really were in the wrong place at the wrong time!

Ruby said...

HOLY CRAP HEAD!!!! WTD??!!! Right on your heads??!! holy crap...oh, I already said that....well, it deserves repeating! Not right...just not RIGHT! I hopes that Sarge apologized like 87 THOUSAND times for that!!! Oh man....the picture will never leaves my brain!!!! BOL!!!! um...sorry...I means..that is a travesty!!!!
Makes me glads I'm an only doggie.....hehehehe
Kisses,
Ruby ♥

Dory and the Mama said...

OH MY DOG!!!!

Poor Frankie....in our house we say, "No Picture?? It didn't happen!". So just deny, deny, deny Frankie!!

Smileys!
Dory, Jakey, Arty & Bilbo

cupcakepetrillo said...

Oh! Ick! Poor Frankie. Talk about being in the wrong place at the wrong time.... Yikes! I'm kind of happy there are no pictures. Nobody wants to see that!

Love and licks,
Cupcake

Alasandra, The Cats and Dogs said...

Poor Frankie

Sarge, may we suggest you check behind you before you.............uh go.

Ernie, it's really not very nice to make fun of Frankie for this terrible event. (BOL laughing our collars off too)

M. K. Clinton said...

Okay...snicker, snicker...ahem, we are so sorry about the baha~bathroom mishap. I'm sure it was an accident. hee hee hee! Seriously, we are~aarrrroooooooooo! Falling on floor howling!