THAT's FINE.... Good Morning Ernestine.... maybe you can help Francine with the phones and stuffs.... I am expecting a call from SARGE.... with an update on what the HECK is going on at the Hotel and the Jail.... I'll be in my office waitin fur THAT... and you gals can deal with everythingy ELSE...
RINNNNNNNNG RINNNNNNNG....
Hello Sarge...
Hey Frankie...... this is TOO much to deal with over the phone.... I'm coming to your office right NOW.... CLEAR OFF YOUR DESK..... we are gonna need a LOT of Space... and COFFEE!!!
OKAY SARGE.... coffee is brewing and I will get the desk cleared.... HURRY... "CLICK"
FRANKIE...... SARGE is coming in the door..... with a ROLLING CART of STUFFS...
THANKS Francine.... show him in....
WHAT THE HECK is all of THIS, Sarge?
KAAaaaaTHUD.... KaBAM KaTHUUDDDddddd KaaaaTHUD...
THESE are all the notes that the Blogville Pawlice Officers... (ALL OF THEM) have managed to collect.... HEY I can hardly see you over them... that's funny, Judge...
NO it's NOT...
Well, FURST let me say that the Pawlice and Emergency Responders FINALLY managed to get EVERY SINGLE ONE of Y O U R jurors and the alternates.... Into Jail Cells..
WHAT?????????????????????? They aren't at the HOTEL being SEA QUESTED???
NOPE..... there is WAY too much DAMAGE over there.... and the Management is SCREAMING fur YOUR office to PAY fur getting it FIXED...
WHIMPER WHINE.... They are in Jail? Damage???? whine DRIBBLE Whimper....
TELL ME WHAT THE SQUIRREL WENT ON...
FROM THE BEGINNING....
So here is how we THINK it started and went down...
The Jurors were all missing their HOMES and their PEEPS and they were all wanting to be PETTED and have belly Rubs an stuffs... to sort of ease the tension... and since Yam-Aunty was the Only one with HANDS and THUMBS... she volunteered... Being the Foreman ...DENNY wanted to go FURST... and the others were supposed to get in LINE.... EXCEPT fur KISMET... who flew to the top of the curtain rod... with 4 Bags of Sunflower and Peanut Snacks.... where she was SQUAWKING about Not being able to get them open..
and then.... it seems that RUBY and COOKIE.... started Complaining about GIRRRRRLS getting to go FURST...
Then ANDY started Grabbing BOOKS and claiming them fur the town Library..
Sammy was YOWLing about the BIG DOGS... stepping on his TAIL... and he HISSED
Now from there is gets a little Fuzzy... Either Walter or Lassie... seem to have Challenged Kacie and Kali to a TUG Of WAR using the Drapery Pull Rope... Which Upset Kismet... Who took a short flight and seems to have POOPED on either Ruby or Yam-Aunty... And Sammy took THAT Flight as an invitation to play CHASE with Kismet..
THAT may be when REILLY... Snapped at Walter fur HOGGING the belly rubs that Yam was giving him... and .... We THINK that Ruby went off to wash the poops outta her furs...
Now Andy was putting the Books in STACKS Everywhere... and when RUBY did return she had a HUGE VAT of Rubyritas... AND a whole Bouquet of CAT NIP... which Set SAMMY off.... all over again... and then the DRINKING Started...
OH and Kismet REALLY went Crazy... demanding that Yam-Aunty STOP the petting and RUBBING and OPEN the SEEDS... so they could SHARE.... Which she DID...
And did I mention that by THAT time... the Alternates had managed to SNAG a CHEESE and MEAT Platter from the Kitchen??
Well Benji and Sweetie and Tasha and Snoopy and Anna... Brought that in.... With RAZ's help, I must say...
AND BEDLAM broke out fur SURE...
WHINE WHIMPER .... are you saying that there is MORE???
OH YES... MORE... Before anybuddy could stop her.... COOKIE slipped out and sent a bunch of Messages to her mom... and RUBY Fired up her BUBBLE MACHINE... and the SNAPPIN and Snarling and Biting and Fighting REALLY got going...
Sammy chased Kismet into the DUCK WORK... and then managed to get WAY up on the CHANDELIER in the BALL ROOM.... and when Walter and Lassie tried to use the BOOKS to get up there to help him down... HE HISSED at them and Down they went CRASHING and THRASHING... like a bad Jenga Choice..
And YAM went to a corner and tried to hide... and Kacie and Kali... Pulled Reilly's TAIL.. OR it might have been that it was Ruby's.... there are conflicting repawts on THAT.
So they were the FURST that were four that were Detained and Restrained by our esteemed Pawenforcement officers...
While that was happening Walter and Lassie and Andy and Cookie were having ZOOMIE Races up and down the HALL WAYS and the Stairs... OH and SOMEBUDDY pulled the SQUIRREL ALARM ..... AGAIN.... and pushed EVERY BUTTON on the elevators...
Where did you say Sammy and Kismet were???
Sammy was still on the Chandelier.... all HYPED UP on that CATNIP and Kismet could be heard Flapping and Flopping in the Duck Work....
OH NO.... Not in the DUCK WORK??? a BIRD in the Duck Work is WORSE than Two in the BUSH... or on the curtain rod...
So how did you get the REST of them into the PADDY WAGONS and off to Jail?
Well, it was actually SideBites who came up with this... He raced to the Kitchen and got MORE CHEESE... and some FRUIT and Some NUTS.... and put them in a Butty Piller catching Net... and just started walking around.... and One by One... they all began to Follow the FOOD....
Even Yam-Aunty and Kismet??? What about Sammy...????
ERNESTINEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeen We need MORE COFFEE in here.... STRONG HOT COFFEE...
YEP.... them too... and the Alternates even joined in... it was like that SIDE SWIPER of Hamlin... they just FOLLOWED him right to the Paddy Wagons... ALL OF THEM...
BUTT JUDGE.... You should SEE the HOTEL.... the Drapes are all Torn to shreds... there is CAT NIP EVERYWHERE.... the Rugs are all torn up... the Elevators are ALL messed up... there is cat fur on the Chandelier... and the Duck Work is Wrecked... There are BOOKS AND BUBBLES and Spilled Rubyrita EVERYWHERE... along with FURS and FEATHERS and EVERY SINGLE WINDOW in the entire place is COVERED with Snot Smears...
AND the PLACE is FULL of Paw Made SIGNS... all saying stuffs like................ FREE THE WEIMERANER..... Pound the Peeps.... EASY is BREEZY
the PEEPS are CHEAP Let's OUI OUI on the PEEPS..... and some other stuffs that I can't even remember...
Are you OKAY Judge???
OH MY HEAD... MY HEAD IS POUNDING WORSE than my THWAPPER normally Does...
NO, I am NOT OKAY....!!!!!!!! Butt now that you have everybuddy in the jail cells... I guess we could have you transport them over to the court house and I could TRY and See what I am going to have to do about this..
Ummmmmmmm well I am not so sure that is a good idea... Judge...
you see... we had to put Kismet in a Cell by herself and she has sort of LAYED... "claim" to it and says she is NEVER coming out.... beclaws it is the BIGGEST "CELL" she has ever HAD in her life...
and to make Matters WORSE.... she LAYED Claim by.... LAYING ANOTHER EGG... and saying she will not leave it... beclaws she is afraid someone will....
OH MY HEAD MY HEAD.....
OMD just THROW that Butty Piller Net over her and GET those Jurors OVER HERE...
FRANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNnnnnnnnnnnncine...... Call Roxy and Ernie and have them bring their Clientele...... NOW... and have you seen Sally Ann and RAZ... ????
SARGE//// I Want that JURY in the BOX in 87 Mins... Understood?
OKAY Judge... butt they are NOT in a GOOD MOOD.... None of them...
NEITHER AM I....
I am Calling them NOW, Frankie.... and Ernestine is getting you an Alka Seltzer
Sally Ann is hunkered down behind her translatoring machine.... and RAZ... is in the hall... eating what was left over from the Butty Piller net...
GOOD...... now I gotta check the Paw Books to see what sort of PAWseedents I can find that will COVER THIS NIGHT SQUIRREL of a TRIAL...
87 mins. Later...... RAZ calls the Court to be in Session and Judge Furter takes the Bench...
WELL Now..... isn't THIS a Fine Howdy Doody... Just LOOK at all of you...
WHERE do I start???
Roxy.... ???? are your glasses TAPED UP fur some Reason?
YES, I broke them in a Tussle over a pair of SILKY Undies... during the BLUE LIGHT SPECIAL .... at Victorious Secret, your Nobelness.
MISS YOUR and MISS US Rider... WHAT is that all over you???
That would be zeeeee MUDS, Sire... OUI were watching Easy play in the Lake at the Park... and OUI sort of got... carried away... and went in to play also...
I see... ummmm Miss Us.... you have some Minnows in your head furs.... and Miss YOUR... that may be some ALGAE in your Moose Stash... You two might want to work on those while I continue..
ERNIE... WHAT do you and EASY have there???
STICKS Your Horror... we went all over the park and in the lake and gathered STICKS.. We must have 87 bazillion of them.... and we Saved each and every one of them, didn't we Easy... WEEEEEE DID, Ernie.... aren't they grrrrrreat???
NOT in my COURTROOM they aren't... RAZ....... take the sticks OUT and Stack them up nice and neat... please..
************ NOW THEN..... Denny... as Foreman of this BUNCH.... what do you folks have to say fur yourselves...
It was all just a big.... MISUNDERSTANDING Judge... A TOTAL accident... we are all INNOCENT. You aren't going to WHAP us with your THWAPPER are you?? That scares to POOPS outta ALL of us.. Your HOSTILEness. It really does..
AS WELL IT SHOULD.... !!!!! Just Sayin!!!
NOW.... after
Here are the Main Points
The Jury did not even get to HEAR the Pawsicutions side of thingys... before they went WILDING...
You Jurors OBVIOUSLY were TAINTED... what with the SIGNS and the Messages to the OUTSIDE and the... .... COLLUSION and DISCUSSIONS of what was NOT to be DISGUSTED at all...
NOT to mention the TOTAL DESTRUCTION of the HOTEL..
THOSE THINGYS BEING SAID......... I have NO CHOICE BUTT TO DECLARE...
You may all go home now...
I need a NAP.
{{{{{{{{{{{ THWAAAAAAAAPppppp }}}}}}}}
34 comments:
hahahaha OMD what an event... I bet that not even happened on an Oktoberfest... or at Woodstock :o) maybe the jury made a statement with the FREE for ALL?
... no jail for the staff?... oh I understand it's occupeed by the jury... hard case, indeed. but hey, you can send them the bill for the damage, that's a cool punishment too... sorry shoe stores, hope you will survive LOL
easy rider
We are jail birds now (no offense Kismet). We give that Blogville Hotel a 87star rating. That was the most fun we ever had!
Wow, what great funs, I can't wait to volunteer fur jury service!!!!
I faught it wuz all serious stuffs butt no, you get to play, drink margaritas and wreck hotel rooms...who knew being a juror could be soooo much funs?????
Loves and licky kisses
Princess Leah xxx
This was just crazy!! Xo MaddiethePug
Hari OM
...I blame the cheese... I thought I was dreaming that whole time... make that nightmaring...yup, definitely too much cheese...
Would YOUZONNER accept an offer of apology and a compensatory belly rub from this contrite juror??? with extra hugs and wags, YAM-aunty xxx
OMD! That's as kerazy as some of my momma's trials! NEVER let the jurors have catnip and cheese, she always says.
MOL MOL MOM HAD AN ENTIRE POT OF COFFEE WHILE READING THIS...SHE'LL BE BACK IN A JIFFY SHE HAD TO GO POTTY...........
OK SHE IS BACK
YOU ALL HAD A CAST OF 1,000 INVOLVED. BRAVO BRAVO BRAVO TO ROXY AND HER HELPERS FRANCINE AND ERNESTINE FOR KEEPING ALL THE RECORDS STRAIGHT.
I SAY YOU ALL NEED A NICE LONG NAP FOLLOWED BY A BOWL OF BACON.
HUGS MADI YOUR BFFF
Well, I for one, had a grrrrrreat time my first time as a juror. I had hoped to keep all my messages to my mum a secret -- who's the tattle tail? I understand my Mum !!.went to Best Buy yesterday -- let's hope she remembered how to post the piccys. I had so much fun at the hotel, I really don't wanna go home, but Mum said she misses me.
thanks Francine and Ernestine for helping with the fun
toodle pip
Cookie
That was just crazy.
Wow, I gotta bark that I am totally exhausted! I mean, really dog tired. What a mess and the whole safety staff is worn out. I'll be sending a requisition to the Co-Mayor Doods for another flutterBy net fur sure. A missthis trial is about the bestest option, Your MopHeadedNess. I'd have no clue how to recover this mess. SHESH and WHEW
Um, these comments are giving the me impression that the jurors had a blast! BOL Maybe we should just go-with-the-flow and make this an annual fun event. BWAR HAR HAR If you can't beat 'em...
Grr and a Tired Woof,
Sarge, Police Commish
Holy Cow!
OMD what a wild and crazy mess that was! WOW! Good job to our local law enforcement in getting all those troublemakers under control...imagine if they had all gotten OUT from the hotel and started running rampant through ALL of Blogville! What fun...I MEAN..what a mess that would have been!
OMD, it sounds like the Judge may have a whole lot of new cases coming his way. What a mess!!!
Woos - Ciara and Lightning
I am NOT tainted. Light blue is my natural color.
We tried to do the right thing and calm everyone down but some doggie locked us in a bathroom and kept threatening us with baths!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! A miss trial was the only option!
Oh my pug what a night to remember, I am so glad that none of us were involved in that in any way.....I can only imagine what kind of law suit that hotel is thinking about....I have a feeling this is not over.....stella rose
OMD OMD OMD OMD! This is the funniest thing I have ever read in my whole life BOL BOL BOL
OH NO! That's the worse case scenario. What happens now?
You better have the Paddy Wagon ready just in case
Lily & Edward
OMD....what a crazy time!!!
Smileys!
Dory, Jakey, Arty & Bilbo
We thinks it is more like a mad house than a court, haha!
Dip and Elliot x
That was enough to make my head spin!
Cammie!
OMD! Looks like Bloggville Jury Trials may be a thing of the past....And you should see the knickers I managed to pull away from that poodle before she broke my glasses... My poor Ernie, all the work he put in his briefs....is there any of that cheese left over?
We don't think you or Ernie will be short of work for quite a while. We do believe all involved will be needing a lawyer and a judge in the near future.
I am sad that my first time as a juror ended in a mistrial!!! But I cannot lie -- I had a great time -- especially the zoomies in the hall!!! I never get enuf zoomies at home.
BTW Roxy my mum says she went to Victorious Secret on Monday after her doctor's appointment -- she says she got some really neat stuff, BUT IT WAS FOR HERSELF.
I am gonna get mum to take some pics in the morning and then do a great blog!!!!
Toodle pip
Cookie
Andy was so concerned about those books. He didn't want them to be chewed on or played with, and he takes his responsibilities seriously. He is now napping next to his books. He made himself a little book bed.
Sally Ann
Wooo doggy that was a doozy of a case! We hope you had a nice nap after all that.
xoxo, Ginger, Matt & Matilda
That sure was a fun time...but we're sorry we ruined your court case.
WHEW!!! What a crazy case. I think I might need a nap now too, and I wasn't even involved!
I think the courts paws were tied. A mistrial was the only solution. IT seems as though Easy and his humans have reconciled with water play. ☺
That was interesting...who's the culprit?
Well I think the Mistrial was the best conclusion that whole sad business could have come to and I must apawlogize for being a part of that unruly mess at the hotel......being sea-questered was just too tough on us - we jurors let off a bit too much steam (cough cough) I guess.....I do hope this will not reflect on my pawsible FUTURE jury doooodies should that be necessary. I'm glad Easy and his humans are back in their crib safe and sound (or at least safe!).
Hugs, Sammy
Okays, this was SOOOOOOOO NOT my fault!!!!!! You see, if Kismet wouldn't have poopied all over my furs, I wouldn't have had to have a ....*gulp*....BATH, and gotten so TRAWMATIZED that I needed a few (87) Rubyritas!!!!! Then I wouldn't have had to start my bubble machine and, well, oh nevermind.
It's all fun and games til someone falls from the chandelier!!
Hey, do I gets to keep the catnip???
Kisses,
Ruby ♥
Good grief! That has got to be the BIGGEST miss-this-trial of the century! The suspense, the drama, the damages! Frankie, we hope Blogville has insurance to pay for all the damages to the hotel.
Wally & Sammy
I feel shure da der gonna be fallowt from dis Frankie Yeronner....haz yoo got a good lawyer?
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