Case # 87-6 Princess Leah... the TRIAL

ALL RISE...... Court of Common Fleas is now in session.

Hizzonor Frankie Furter, pawsiding.

{{THWAP}}

Ernest, are all the pawties present and ready for trial?

 They are Your Orneryness...    and we are all pawpared to conduct this trial according to International Law...      

Sniff    Snifffffffff....    Do I smell CLOROX in my courtroom?

   Sorry your Worthlessness...  I had a little accident with my wig... 

 I would like to present PRINCESS LEAH     .... as my furst witness...

  Pssssst   Princess Leah... I think we look AMAZING...  I love this ROYAL Courts stuffs, don't YOU??   OH YES, Roxy... butt these tiaras are HEAVY, aren't they?     That is a small sacrafice fur looking Gorgeous though..     After court do you want to go SHOPPING?    YESSSSsssssssssss....  I have my Fleasa Card...   it is acceptete Everywhere.   Is there a Victorious Secret near here???   There IS...  and Ernie gave me a gift card for there...     Let's do LUNCH too...     we gotta show off our Tiaras all OVER blogville...     I just hope that CHESTER sees ME..

Princess you are sworn to tell the truth and to show the court what occurred.

Are you Ready... ?

YES, Ernie...  I am... 

Roxy... would you prepare the Exhibits?

NOW, PRINCESS LEAH...  you may pawceed...

THIS is EXACTLY what Happened...

Mum snaffled my blog!

As if that wasn't bad enough, she snaffled then SNITCHED!

My own Mum turned Stool P Gin on me

How could she?

Sniffle Sniffle  Sniffle

You have PROOF of this...  HORROR, of course

Roxy omd you look so HAWT in that Tiara,  the Exhibit Please...

Letter to Aunty Freya

Dear Miss Aunty Freya
I hear that you are keeping the young Pup Princess Leah under your paw and training her up to be a Police Pup Officer. 
Well.... I am slightly concerned that with her thieving habits and shredding abilities she may not be cut out for the job.

Exhibit A

Theft of Mum's Bra (!) last night

Exhibit B

Attempted theft of Mum's slipper....while she was still wearing it!

Exhibit C

Theft of Dad's paintbrush

 Exhibit D

Bag handles, lifted from inside Mum's handbag!

Shredding of evidence

I believe said young Pup is away on training exercises at the moment. I am seriously concerned that the trainers are not aware of her secret thieving nature and will be beguiled by her sweet Innocent looks

 I feel it is my civic duty to inform you of this Pups actual character before she's allowed to handle anything as dangerous as a LOADED WATER PISTOL!!!!

Yours

Princess Leah's Mum

xxx

Well now.... there are a Lot of charges here...  Let's take them One at a time. Shall we?

Exhibit A... the Bra...    what was it doing there?   If it was left out... it was certainly there fur YOUR use.   

Exhibit B......  the Slippers...   Princess Leah...  does your mum suffer with Dry flakey feets in the winter?

YES... she does...  and I was just trying to add some nice Slobbers to help MOISTURIZE them fur her.

Of COURSE you were...  she was just too dense not understanding the fact that you were TRYING to be helpful.

Now to Exhibit C.. your dad's Paint brush...   that was a pitiful specimen of one, I might add...      it is CLEAR to all that there were MANY bristles that were in DIRE need of removal...   they would have made paint smears everywhere if you had not done so.   Am I correct?

Just a second Ernie.... I have to adjust my Tiara... it sometimes slips..

THERE...  now as you said... I was simply getting the brush back into USEFUL Condition.

On to Exhibit D...   the bag handles...    those were WAY too LONG to fit snuggly into your mum's purse... they took up too much space... needed fur snacks and stuffs, is that correct?

Indeed it IS, Ernie...   I had to make them a more COMPACT size... so that mum could carry all the thingys that I need fur her to have available fur MY use.

That is EXACTLY what I thought.

Moving On to exhibit D...   the shredded stuffs...

   Doesn't your mum understand that you were merely making MORE of a good thingy?

I am sure that his Worthlessness totally comprehends this.

So do I Ernie.      You DO, don't you Sire? 

Let us now move on to the Charge of your Mum being a Stool P Gin.....Leah.

You say that your Mum   STOLE your Blog and then TOLD all these WRONGFUL thingys about you there.    Is that correct?

YES...  YES fur sure she did do that...  it is MY blog and she told terrible thingys about ME...  her PRINCESS...   She made me look and sound terrible when all I was doing was TRYING to pick up and Clean up and Help...   

Your Worshiplessness I believe that Princess Leah has shown the court all that it should need to make a PAWSITIVE finding fur my client...   the DEFENSE needs a Rest..

VERY WELL....   Since this is an INTERNATIONAL CASE...  I require an extra day to deliberate ...    Court will RESUME on SATURDAY Feb. 28th... when I will give my findings..

Court is Dismissed until then...

{{THWAP  THWAP}}    I just love my Thwapper...

Come on Leah...   Let's Go SHOPPING...   OKAY, Roxy... Hold onto your Tiara... we are gonna shop til we Drop...      Right... butt furst let's have TEA.

See you at the office LATER... Erniekins

HEY CHESTER.....    want to come back to my Office and have a cup of coffee?   Looks like our wimmen have deserted us...