Your HONORABLENESS Mayoress Diva Madi, Our cussin SARGE, Chief of Blogville Pawlice, has been ACCUSED of Biting the Hand that Feeds him. He has been THROWN in the Dawghouse.. As you can see in Exhibit #87.
He has been denied the right to council. He has been Stripped of his Pawsition as Chief of Pawlice(effective May 31, 2003. He has been much maligned and is saddened by this entire affair, OF WHICH there is NOT a SINGLE SHRED of skin missing of Evidence to put before you.
Your Honorable WE the Residents of Blogville wish to be HEARD... We want to be entered into the RECORDS of this tapestry TRAVISTY of disjustingness lawsy mercy squirrel crap ADJUSTMENTS.
We are HERE in athletic Supporters of our Furend and we want to tell it like it is...
Ernie and I would like to be the furst witlesses Witnesses ... fur Sarge's Characterness:
WE Raise our Paws and Swear that this is the Trooth...
GASP!! ERNIE !! I said raise your PAW, NOT hike your leg!! Sorry Your NOBLENESS. I'll get that cleaned up right away. BUTT, I gotta say that I think Ernie had the Right Idea.. we should all be doing THAT to Sarge's Peeps..
OKAY... Now that we both have our PAWS (only) Raised.. Ernie and I would like to continue.
Sarge has NEVER ONCEactually bitten EITHER of us.. and we have NEVER EVER seen Proof that he has bitten ANYTHINGY... other than our dad's pants legs.
Folks, if somethingy this CRAZY can happen to SARGE.. it could happen to ANY of us...
Peeps Make UP stuffs and then just BLAME it on US. WHERE is thePOOP PROOF of the chocolate pudding we ask you? WHERE???? Show us the the little pitchers with big ears Pictures!! We want to SEE the Blood and Owl Gore stuffs. Give Sarge's peeps 87 seconds to SHOW us the Poop Proof Or Else Spring him and let him keep his job!!
Thank you Madi... Ummm we mean, your Honoration.
NOW then please allow COMMENTS FUR SARGE (see Below) to be made anAWFUL OFFICIAL pawt of these pawceedings.
Furends... PLEASE speak up In Sarge'sdefecation Defense ! Help him CLEAR his NAME and Retain his Pawsition. Raise your Right Paw before giving your testicles Testimony. You all go ahead and leave your words while ERNIE and I get the Mop and PineSol.
WE Raise our Paws and Swear that this is the Trooth...
GASP!! ERNIE !! I said raise your PAW, NOT hike your leg!! Sorry Your NOBLENESS. I'll get that cleaned up right away. BUTT, I gotta say that I think Ernie had the Right Idea.. we should all be doing THAT to Sarge's Peeps..
OKAY... Now that we both have our PAWS (only) Raised.. Ernie and I would like to continue.
Sarge has NEVER ONCE
Folks, if somethingy this CRAZY can happen to SARGE.. it could happen to ANY of us...
Peeps Make UP stuffs and then just BLAME it on US. WHERE is the
Thank you Madi... Ummm we mean, your Honoration.
NOW then please allow COMMENTS FUR SARGE (see Below) to be made an
Furends... PLEASE speak up In Sarge's
35 comments:
We hearby swear, with all our hearts, that Sarge is NOT Guilty of this travesty he is being forced to deal with. How dare someone tarnish his reputation. We are behind him 100%.Out paes are on a stack of bibles here.
Petition signed by..
Mona Mi Ricca
Weenie (Little Fella) Ricca
Sarah Ricca (the Mommy)
PS......I'm staying right here until I see,with my heart, pictures of my love....Weenie
MOL MOL MOL F& E
I'm so very very glad to hear your excursion yesterday was super duper and a good time was had by all. I eagerly await photos.
You know in my Honorable humble opinion right now this very minute we could end this mess with the hands. Sarge has tremendous support. The hands are being shamed and will soon be hiding in some pockets.
Hugs madi your BFFF
He is innocent - we think it was a case of mistaken identify - (the finger was mistaken as a piece of hotdog) SHE was trying to get sarge to participate in some photo taking and we are sure treats were involved so the only conclusion is that the finger was mistaken for a treat - INNOCENT (Bill will be in the mail for this outstanding bit of deductive reasoning - cookies of any kind accepted as payment)
Here's my character stmt:
I, Ranger, so cutely swear (Mom doesn't like me to swear), that Sarge is the Best Boss that I have ever had. Then again… I've only had one. He is patient with me, as I am young and it still get too excited about things and sometime play when I'm supposed to be on duty. An then there was that time when I danced with every girl at Madam Mayor's Inaug Ball, instead of doing my security duty… oh… maybe I should shut up now. Anyways… Sarge has been very patient and kind to me. He is firm, a good instructor, and honest. He can also ride a pretty good surfboard. Oh… Oh… and he is tall which is very important in a Police Chief.
Even if he might have accidentally nipped the HAND… everyones deserves another chance. If I didn't get 2nd chances…. I'd be in the doghouse all the time.
Wags,
JPO Ranger (JPO)
Pees. I also have 50 Bail Bones for Sarge's release.
Ranger
He's been framed - literally, BOL!
Free Sarge now :)
Dip Bridge and Elliot x
We know Sarge is not guilty. We know the squirrels framed him. They drugged him and put his tooths on the hand that feeds. We know this is what happened. Free Sarge we say. Stop this madness. Have a wonderful Wednesday.
Best wishes Molly
Good one Molly. Let's stick with that story.
hehehe,
Ranger
I can serve as a character witness for Sarge! He has been nothing but a loyal, loving friend to me during my blogging years which is basically all my life. He has been framed.
Sarge is one of the best guys out there and we have a sweet story about him, last year when we had the 'back to school day' sarge was so nice to my dumb mom cos she thought she had REALLY ordered REAL backpacks for me to go to school with! He explained that sometimes in blogville things are not how they seem, so see.....things are NOT HOW THEY SEEM!!!!
Damn Squirrels..(sorry mom)
stella rose, maggie, angus and even mean ole cat dietzman
Your Honor, my name is Casey the Boxer, and I have known Sgt. Sarge for as long as I've been a part of Blogville. During that time, he has been honest and brave in carrying out his duties as Blogville's top cop. He has saved countless dogs from the evil depradations of squirrelly squirrels, shifty chipmunks, and devious bunnies. He has always shown great character in his duties, not hesitating to enforce the law even when good furiends (*cough*Puddles*cough*) were the ones accused.
Sarge thinks of nothing but protecting the good citizens of Blogville. Therefore, I am convinced that however this alleged biting incident occurred, Sarge was acting in his official capacity and trying to neutralize a threat. Whether his peeps just got in the way or if they were the danger, I do not know. But I know Sarge. I KNOW he is innocent! I beg all the pups and cats of the jury to find Sarge NOT GUILTY!
There is no way that our Sarge could be guilty of this heinous crime! When we had overflow crowds for Puddles and Pip's big day here in St Louis, it was all he could do to handle the situation and he never even growled! We are willing to swear, on a stack of Bibles, that our Sarge is innocent!~
I, Officer Sidebite, being of unreasonable mind and knowing Sarge, my boss, do swear that he could not have done such a thing, release Sarge now, or I may bite somebody!
Officer Bites & Susie
I hearby swear on a pile of chewies that fearless leader Sarge NO IS guilty of this hand-related crime. Was I present at the occurrance of said crime? No. Does I has an alibi? Um.... also no. Is it a plot by crabby girls to steal Sarge's blog? I highly doubt it. Now if the court will allow it, I would like to call to the stand.... the Hand that was supposedly "bit" by Sarge! Yes that is right, where is this repairmens guy making these false accusations? Bring him to order, I will cross examine him and then pull an Ernie and lift my leg on him!
Stay strong, brother Sarge,
Reuben
Um.... my aging yet still beautiful mind has confuzzled Sarge's story with Puddles' repairmans incident.... please strike my previous comments re: repairmens from the record, and to Sarge's hands: sorry I tried to pee on you.
This is so so horrible. I hope Madi can straighten this allllll out. I am munching on my waffle on a stick in the meantime. Come join me!
We must clear his name!
Wags,
Tootsie
This madness needs to be stopped!! I, Higgins, stand behind his innocence!!! It is always the humans faults!
~Higgins
The Squirrels have framed poor Sarge.. Don't forget we have the bag of bacon snacks should you need them xx00xx
Mollie and Alfie
This is a squirrel conspiracy. We also pledge to the free Sarge movement.
Save Our Sarge! There is no way he could be guilty of this crime.
Millie & Walter
We all support Sarge. Please set him free from the frame. Uhmm... did we get some details confused?! We just want to say that we think Sarge is innocent.
Love,
Piappies Fudgie, Princess, Frappie, Mocha, Sugar, Wai-Max, Wai-Pai & Forgie
Wee deffo nose dat our Sarge is innscents ovs da crime, wee agrees wivs Molly it is da tree rats dat has framed our beluvved law ocifer.
FREE SARGE NOW, FREE SARGE NOW, FREE SARGE NOW, FREE SARGE NOW !
Da K Krew
PeeS. Wee has jail break quipment ifs it comes to dat !
I am totally convinced that our COP is entirely innocent of all charges laid against him. And I would like to make one particular point. Think on this, Judge Madi. What kind of a dog do we want for Blogville's Chief of Police? Not a toothless one, for sure. I am quite convinced that Sarge was merely showing to the HANDS, and thus to the rest of our community, that we do indeed have a COP with BITE, and we should all feel more secure for that.
So surely, the right thing to do would be to award Sarge a medal, and perhaps a promotion, rather than this shameful, oh so shameful treatment to which he has been subjected...
Toodle pip!
Bertie.
Sarge is an amazing cop dog. If he did nip a bit, he didn't do it to be agressive. He was not in the red zone, as ceaser milan says. He loves his people, and he would never hurt them. He is innocent of any malice. He is a good dog cop.
Sally Ann and Andy
The pizza is great also!
Okays, furst: I, again, don't believes that Sarge bit the Hand. I thinks the Hand was dreamin' and hit the Hand on Sarges toothers. Then, SHOCKED by the Hand's daftness, the Hand blamed poor, innocent Sarge. Is it Sarge's fault the Hand did it??? NO! I say. NO!
I say, in the name of Justice: NOT GUILTY!!!
Second: Is it time for Sasha's Pizza Truck???
Kisses,
Ruby
"Get your possum pizza on a stick...get your waffle on a stick" Ernie catch...oops sorry I forgot to tell you there was syrup on them. Frankie the syrup will come out of your fur. Everyone start licking Frankie...what Mayor Madi...sorry I will take the food outside.
Loveys Sasha
Bravo! Bravo! Very well expressed--both you and Ernie. We have NOT heard from Sarge since he was wrongfully incarcerated. It is TOTALLY unfair!
XXXOOO Daisy, Bella & Roxy
Oh, Frankie and Ernie darlings, your post is magnificent! We crabby girls are certain that with your support added to the rest of Blogville, we will S.O.S.! Goodness, we are agog at the huge outpouring of love for our COP. Thanks you both, dears, for the great post. Oh, and teeheehee and POL for your logo picture!
Little Pinches,
Shelldon, Beachnut, Oceana
I swear he is being wrongly accused!
Nola
I can make a yummy liver cake with get of the dog house stuffs, if you need that. You are a good dog policeman, and we believe you are innocent. If anyone disagrees, I'll send my Eskimo dog brother to bark at them. Eskies can bark and bark wothout ceasing. Andy is similar to the everlasting bunny when it comes to barking.
Sally Ann
Well I personally am shaken to the core by all of this. It is true, I have been away mostly in the last few months. But I check in as often as I can and to check in and find this awful situation going on, well, it just hurts me to the core.
I worked with Sarge for a year, he gave me my first job, he showed trust and confidence in me. He helped me grow in the blogville PD and find my place here as well. So, if what they humans say is true, then there must have been a good reason for it. Perhaps a moment of PTSD or RSVP. MIstaken Identity, or MDS or, well just so many things could have been the cause of this tiney little misdemeaner.
Forgivness is one of our greatest qualities and I beleive what ever happened, forgiveness should be for all.
All humans middle names are Pinocchio
Benny & Lily
If we ever get into trouble we want you as our attorney.
Your Pals,
Murphy & Stanley
Post a Comment