Monday, January 28, 2013

ERNIE... Sit DOWN.. you and I gotta have ...

Dad says You and I have gotta have       THE  Talk....    since you now have a Girrrrrrlfurend and your FURST DATE is comin up.      So lissen up...

 OK   Frankie   butt this is kinda scaring me.  
Now you are going to a FORMAL BALL...   not one of the thingys you have been to at the Blogville Community Center...   THIS is gonna be in a BALL ROOM...     and EVERYBUDDY will be on their BEST BEHAVIOR there.    No CLOWIN around  and you CAN'T be sniffin without askin.
     You will need to be a TRUE GENTLEMAN with your little date   ROXY.    You will have to learn how to do the TWO Paw Step....    beclaws there won't be any WILD music to be jumpin and hopping and stuffs to.
BUTT FRANKIE...   that is how WE like to dance.   I don't EVEN KNOW HOW to do the OLD FOGGY   Two Paw Step. 
     Don't Worry...  I'm gonna TEACH you how.    
I don't Wanna.  I'm afraid you will want me to learn the HOOCHIE POOCHIE next.
TUFF ....     and you can PRACTICE using you PETITE Roxy..     
OH...   OK...   I love my Petite Roxy.     hehehehe  maybe I DO want to learn the Hoochie Poochie after all.        What else?
Well,   DAD got us PHONES...  and while you are at the ball you can call me with any questions you might have about how to BEHAVE YOURSELF.
A PHONE????    Can I call ROXY??? and Murphy and Stanley???    OH BOY    a PHONE I can call Roxy even if she is right beside me and I can..
NO   NO...    Dad got us these phones fur EMERGENCY USE ONLY...     so that if you don't know somethingy you can CALL  ME....  
BUTT FRANKIE....   What if ROXY goes to Pee  gets separated from me in the Crowd?  I know girrrls do that beclaws you taught me all about the Birds and the PEES stuffs.. 
               or if Murph or Stan have like      87   questions fur YOU...     I gotta be able to call all three of them. Will I be able to TEXT you so nobuddy Knows ...     that I am doing it???? .
   OH....  Good Point...YES you will be able to text.. that way no one will know and you won't need to feel EMBARRASSED about asking me stuffs.      OK give it to me and I'll put their numbers right under MINE  on speed Dial       
hehehehehehehe       WHEW.   That is good stuffs Frankie.   I'll be TEXTING fur SURE. 
NOW then....    All the ladies will be wearing Ball gowns and the guys will have on their Tuxes and stuffs   so you CAN NOT be running around with Foods...   You gotta go HELP ROXY with her plate....  and then carry it back to a table and then go get YOURS...   and NO sniffin anybuddy Else's foods along the way.      
 No eatin on the floor.      
      No RUNNING      
   NO JUMPING  on thingys
None of your disgusting Belchin and Pharrrtin either.     
   Did I say NO GROWLING???  
 You and ROXY are NOT allowed to have any ADULT beverages...   just MILK or maybe some Sparkling WATER with your dinner!!!       
AND no SNIFFIN...   not ANYBUDDY...     THIS is your furst DATE... so that means ROXY too.
       Butt FRANKIE....   those are all FUN thingys...    I want to have FUN..
YOU  WILL have fun Ernie...   it is just that this is gonna be a very HIGH CLASS AFFAIR.    And the FUN will be in BEHAVING YOURSELF like a GentleDawg.          Mollie and Alfie and Ranger are going to a LOT of Trouble to make this  a  very   FORMAL and DIGNIFIED occasion.     Everybuddy will be on their BEST Behavior...    This is NOT the time and place fur WILD STUFFS.     If you can't behave yourself you will get THROWN OUT.....    SARGE is gonna be there..   
OH NO.....  he is sooooooo bossy even more bossy than YOU are...     gee   I didn't know that there would be      87   rules.       GEEEEEE WHIZ ...   I'm probably gonna be TEXTING about  87,000 Times...   hehehe BaaaWaaah
TUFF...    suck it up and make up your mind that  fur ONCE you are gonna BE GOOD.  And Show your little   ROXY      a     GOOOOOOOD time.
{{SIGH}}      OK FRANKIE...    I've got it...    DON'T WORRY...     87 ROCKS  Rules.   Got it!    I REALLY want Roxy to have a Grrrrrrreat time fur SURE.    
OK...   you can go play now.    


Robyn Wright-Parkin said...

Jeepers Frankie you just saved me a butt load of time & explaining with Sam! I just got him to read this post & now he is also ready for the Ball.

These younger siblings can be a lot of work at times!


Lovable Lily said...

You're right Ernie, so many rules to be followed. Butt in the end, it's gonna be a great affair and everyone's gonna have a pawsome time. We can't wait to see you and Roxy there.

Lily Belle & Muffin

Patrice and Higgins said...

No belchin and pharrrtin....OMD, this is serious!


Anonymous said...

Thanks for this fabulous checklist for the ball - specially for the sniffing rules ;o)

Bouncing Bertie said...

Frankie, young Ernie is so fortunate to have such an excellent guide to appropriate behaviour. Do you teach humans too...?
Toodle pip!

Molly The Wally said...

My that is some list of rules guys. We think you will both be princes at the ball. Have a marvelous Monday.
Best wishes Molly

scotsmad said...

You can assure Frankie, that we will be on our BEST behaviour....87% of the time...bwahaahaahaa!

Daisy and Bella have been tellin' me to watch the punch because Puddles spikes it sometimes.....I'm countin' on it!

87 kisses, Roxy

Phones will make it so much easier know...coordinate.......stuff.

Remington said...

Well put Frankie! Ernie will do great with your help....

Bailey said...

Poor Ernie so much to remember. You will do fine.

GOOSE said...

Frankie I think you are going to be VERY busy on the night of the Ball. I'll be watching from the water bowl with Easy. This should be fun.

Anonymous said...

Hey Ernie, Me and Bites will show yous how to do do the two paw step, livin here in Okl-e-hom-e we do a lot of country dancin!

Be ready to party, see-ya there, brring your ten gallon cowboy hat and boots

sus & bites

Shawnee the Shepherd said...

OMD, I is so thankful I do not has a baby sis wot I has to teach ALL this stuffs to. Too much werk if'n you ask me. I has to go take a nap in my hidey spot after all of that. Good luck Ernie. And Frankie - I think you will needs it. (Pee Ess - Ernie do not dribble out of the water bowl does he? That would be way embarrassing.)

Berts Blog said...

Hey Frankie, good advice for Ernie, I was trying to give Allred some points but he just smacked me and told me to leave the room, which I did.

I guess Miss Nellie is on her own with Allred.

I am so glad Ernie has you to call if he gets nervous.

Amber DaWeenie said...

EEEKS....too many rules! How bout BURP AND SLURP? Can we do dat?


stellaroselong said...

Frankie I didn't know there was going to be so many rules that me, ryder and kirby had to follow, rules........what!!!
maggie moose

Jazzi said...

Oh Ernie, sounds like you have a Mr bossy pants like I have a Miss bossy pants. Do what I do, totally ignore them, go and have fun. You will be fine and they think we have stupid written across our heads??? We arent cave dogs ya know??? BOL
You and Roxy are getting a ride on our tank too, so that will be totally cool and awesome. Roxy seems like a great tank girl!!


The Websters said...

That is all very very good advice!


Dip-Dip and the Bridge said...

We are sure you will be on your best behaviour and make your family proud Ernie!
Dip Bridge and Elliot x

Shelle Pennington said...

There are so many rules (I'm flashing back to another Ernest I know, Ernest T. Bass when he 'can't cotton all these rules')

That is what Ernie needs to watch.. the Andy Griffith Episode of "My Fair Ernest T. Bass"

Good afternoon to you, Mrs. Wiiiiiileeeeee!

Shelle, Milo, Dixie and Newby,

Oskar said...

You are a great brother Frankie!

Nubbin wiggles,

Pippa Sheltie said...

It'll be worth it in the end, ernie!
I can already do the hoochie poochie - I do it when I'm out for walks and I can't remember what paw comes next. You see it can be difficult with four paws--
Oh my woof! I've just remembered!
You've got two left paws! Literally!
Better train them up quick!
Pip :)

Two French Bulldogs said...

As long as little Ernie has these 87 rules written on his paw, he will be good to go
Have a fun day
Benny & Lily

Madi and Mom said...

Ernie.....dang they sure took the wind out of your sail!
If I were you I'd just stay home.
Hugs madi your BFFF

marley said...

Good teachins my pal...we haz the talk here to this weekend cos Willium got hims a furst human girlfriend.....peeple drawin lots to see who haz to do it

Noodles said...

Great ADVICE Frankie. But. . . PUGS are particularly prone to pharting. I am afraid it is part of our CULTURE! Is it okay if I toot now and then?
Love Noodles

Idaho PugRanch said...

Good thing Bailey is not the big pharrter at our house ( that would be Hazel),it would not be the thing to do on a furst date.
But then again his date is also a pug so maybe they would toot beautiful music together, HAHAHA
Bailey & Hazel too

Mitch and Molly said...

Ernie is so lucky to have you to teach him everything he needs to know, Frankie!

Love ya lots,
Mitch and Molly

Nola said...

BOL I don't envy you, Frankie!

Smile With Your Tail said...

So nervous for you, but excited for you too.

Don't forget that the ladies love fresh breath, so remember those mints OK?

Good luck!


Murphy said...

Ernie, you have 87 million rules! Those rules are more strict than our rules! Frankie is trying to choke the life out of you! Good thing you have the cell phone. Make sure our number is properly programmed. You can test it by taking a picture of something and sending it to us. We text all the time and we will each have a phone with us cuz mom might miss us so much she will text us too. It is a safety thing you know. These rules are 87 kinds of ways crazy!! Butt, do not worry, I'm thinking we'll have fun anyway!!

Keep Calm & Bark On!

Murphy & Stanley

Ruby said...

OMD! MY head's gonna explode ~ gee Ernie, how are YOU gonna remembers all of that??!
No belchin' and fartin'????...I could be in trouble....

Wyatt said...

Lighten' up, Frankie!! Dawgs just want to have fun...BOL. Hmmm I think I need to get a phone, I have questions too....


Sarge said...

Hey Ernst!
Wow, don't worry, buddy! I can't see everything and be everywhere so you'll be able to shake-a-tail a little and have fun. Trust me, you can be a gentleman and still rock the hall! BOL
Grr and Woof,
Sarge, COP

Dougall-the-Scottie said...

Oh I am getting nervous... I still haven't heard from sweet Jazzi...

chicamom85 said...

Frankie, you are such a good brother and gave great advice to Ernie. I just need to point out that Puddles will be there, so I don't know how long the dignity and elegance are going to last, but we can hope. I am really excited for this. I hope I can spend some time with your wives, I don't know them very well and would like to be friends.

Loveys Sasha

Golden Woofs! SUGAR said...

Woof! Woof! What a LIST! Lots of Golden Woofs, Sugar

Team Beaglebratz said...

Hey Frankie - we Beaglebratz read'boutz bein'on your best b-havior - iz Puddles NOT goin'tue b there?

Shiloh'n Diva Shasta

LetterstoAndrew said...

You're very kind to take Ernie under your wing and teach him about the proper way to behave a the ball. I do hope you'll take a picture of him in his tux. I bet he looks pawsitively handsome!

The Army of Four said...

Wait ... we didn't realize there were so many rules involved. Siberians and rules don't have a good connection ...
Play bows