Monday, March 16, 2009

Vacula the Vicious

Vacula the Vicious
by Frankie Furter Price
Chapter 1.
It was a bright and sunny day. Everything was going along just the way I like them to. I got to be the last one out of bed. I made my morning yard inspection and did my potty things. I helped mom and dad eat their breakfast. I had hardly gotten the 'cliner chair warm when everything began to go to cat crap.
It started when mom turned on the dish licker thing. Have you ever heard one of those? It is horrible. No dachshund ever makes noise like that when they lick dishes clean. I have never understood why mom insists that this dish licker thing does a better job that I could do. Well, of course I would not be able to do the sharp things like knives and stuff, but I would do a grrrreat job on plates and bowls and stuff. So anyway now there is all this awful scary noise happening and I couldn't even get a good morning nap. My nerves were all on edge. It wasn't even time for me to start worrying about where my lunch was. I felt an urge to gather my toys and snacks into the living room where I could watch over them. I jumped out of the 'cliner and got very much busy.
I could already smell the stuff that mom sprays on things. She has tried to tell me that it keeps Vacula away. I know better. I am sure that a fake label has been put over the real one. One that says the bottles are really full of VAC ATTRACT. My day was about to become a


Nibbles Treats said...

Wow! I totally know where you are coming from. The other dogs just don't get it. ~Oscar

Nice blog. We're glad we found you!

Tinkerbell, Oscar and Tucker

Frankie Furter said...

Welcome aboard. Glad you like my blog. I am going to pop to yours now. I hope we can become friends. My middle name is Oscar!! Licks & Wags

Ruby and Penny said...

Hi Frankie
We think our dish licker is noisy to. The dish licker at our house has huge white skinny teeth that mom puts the dishes on. We are always scared they will take her hand one day.
Can't wait for Chapter 2.
Love Ruby & Penny

Frankie Furter said...

Hello girrrrls, I showed your snow pictures to someone today. He doesn't like snow and said he felt sorry for you. He also said you are cuties. Mom told him that you are already spoken for. he he
I am going to be working on Chapt.2 tonight. I hope to post it in the morning.
From your adoring Studmuffin

Henry the Dog said...

I know what you mean about that vacula thing. I call it a floor sucker. Ours looks snake like and I'm quite suspicious of it because it sucks really hard and I've got visions of me disappearing up it. As for the dishlicker thing. Yep, mum's got one, it's her favourite toy. She puts it on at night before she goes to bed and leaves me in the kitchen having to listen to the damn thing. To be fair, it kind of lulls me to sleep because I'm used to it now.

Frankie Furter said...

Henry, Don't these people know that it is such a waste of lip licking good food? Imagine the savings in engergy costs if they would just leave the dish cleaning to us. Except for the sharp things of course.
My mom's dish licker thingy seems to be put to work at any time she finds convenient. I would rather she do it at night like your mum. It would be a long distance from "our" bed that way.