Friday, July 23, 2010

Birthday Roast for PUDDLES DUDDLES RainCoat

It is NOW    MY   turn to Poop on Puddles!!!!
     March 15,2010   a date that will live in INFAMY throughout Bloggerville.   That is the day when....    SHE   furst came into our lives.  
     Dearest Furends,  we all know why we are gathered today.   We are "MARKING" THE FURST ANNUAL  Roast the Nut  Puddles Duddles..... blah blah  ROAST. 
     I am sure you all have plenty of material to work with,   BUTT I believe the picture above pretty much gives ME  BARKING RIGHTS .    Who could ever furget the day she posted her...
NEENER NEENER ROTTEN WEINER picture... aimed directly at ME????    See, you can't even do something NICE for the girrrls without getting DUMPED ON. 
          Sooooo let's get this show on the road.   Have you noticed that SHE has been signing everything   Preacher Puddles????   Do you REALLY know what those initials stand for???
P.P.     PeePee in the Bafftub.   I refer you to her BIG INVENTION Hoax post of June 14th. titled Puddles Pro 1000....  that is the post where dhe is shamelessly trying to scam us out of $19.99 for a Fake Product.   Heck she was even gonna throw in a bottle of Eau de Mayzie Perfum in her, BUTT WAIT... There's More offer.     What a (not so shy)  SHYster she is.       I understand that little deal is STILL under investigation by the FCC  for internet fraud.  HA HAHHAAaa 

Puddles is also a terrible FAKER.   Did you see her TARANTULA EYE thingy?????  That one cost her MOM about 87 million green papers for an emergency VET trip.   TARANTULA my TAIL !!! That swollen eye was caused by    NOSE TROUBLE !!!!   She was sniffing around trying to See my post that was clearly marked:  NOT FOR PUDDLES' EYES, and she got a bad case of Eye Strain.   I had even Warned her not to try messing with Blogger Magic.    Sheeeesh
    Now WHAT is the deal with Puddles thinkin' she can go messing around with NATIONAL HOLIDAYS?????    Think back to her June 21st. post (NOT Feb.2nd.) when she up and decided to just MOVE   GROUND HOG DAY to suit her little fancy.    Does she Really belive the CALENDAR REVOLVES AROUND     HER ????
      Let us now discuss her lack of appreciation.    Back on May 18th.  my Ruby and Penny sent Puddles one of their FANTASTIC     PAWSONALIZED    Wubbas.   I heard a rumor that Puddles took that ONE OF A KIND... Wubba out and wollowed it around in that teeeeny tiiiiiiney little drop of Ground Hog Spit.   No appreciation I tell you.   None.
    Did you notice the April 29th. Post   where she tried to claim it had SNOWED in her yard???  It was a SNOW JOB , that's for sure.   Straight out of a Pillow she Stole and Destroyed. 
       And How about her   STICKY PAWS....   (she is always saying the PoPo are around watching the NEIGHBORS.. we know who they are watching)     This is for Puddles' DAD....   hey fella, if you are still looking for your beer... check out her   MAY 7th. Post... and do a little digging.        Poor Whitney is about to starve beclaws Puddles steals her foodables  AND... she even stole one of Whitney's HEARTWORM PILLS...      The girl is an embarrassment to us, I tell you.
All these stories and STILL on April 8th. Mayzie Gal gave Puddles the   Happy 101 AWARD for SWEET ?????? Furends.   Puddles sure has pulled the Pillow Stuffing over Mayzie's Eyes.

Now furends, Let us not furget how Puddles treats her MOM.  REMEMBER the day she told about jumping on her mom's lap while she was on the POTTY?????     Then Puddles wonders WHY her mom is going to give her Nail Clippers for a BIRTHDAY PRESSIE.  
         I'm telling you that Puddles is just a weeeee tiny bit LEFT of EVIL.......     BUTT, we wouldn't have her ANY OTHER WAY.       HAPPY BIRTHDAY Puddles Duddles RainCoat.    Enjoy your day of Roasting and Toasting.        Your furend,    Frankie Furter


Dexter said...

I just met Miss Puddles recently but I could tell she was no good from the start. All messing with our brains and scheming and what not. Thanks for a great expose, er, roasting, of her little wiener self. Very well done.


The Daily Pip said...

BOL. Wait a minute while I catch my breath ...I am laughing so hard!!!

OK, I am back. Frankie, you covered everything so well. I am not sure what I will put in my roast! And thanks for catching me up on things that happened before my time, I didn't start blogging until late May. There was a whole lot of Puddles pre May!

Your pal, Pip

P.S.: I emailed Daisy about your Ball and Chain pawty. I don't know if she already has the pawty planned, but if not I was thinking maybe all you guys could come to Chicago for a weekend in the city. We could get in a whole lot of trouble and fun!

A MilShelb Mom said...

~Milly and Shelby

houndstooth said...

Bwaaaaaa ha ha! Oh, Frankie, I just know Puddles is going to get you somehow! Wait til the wedding!


Anonymous said...

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA (breath) BWHAHAHAHAHAHA. Oh, Frankie! That was just super priceless. Oh, that Puddles. I wasn't around too very much long before Puddles came along, but Blogland musta been awful quiet and boring before Puddles Duddles Puddin and Pie.

And I gave her the Sweet Furends awardie cuz she sent me beer. BEER! Now, I don't care who you are, that's SWEET!

Wiggles & Wags,

♥♥ The OP Pack ♥♥ said...

Poor Mom - she really can't take all of this so early in the morning - she sprayed her coffee all over her toast reading this and almost peed her pants. Now we are worried about letting her see any more of the roasts.

We haven't know Miss Puddles too long, but we must say that we do love her - who can't love a gal with spunk like she has!!!

Happy Birthday to our special furiend Puddles.

Woos ~ Phantom, Thunder, and Ciara

3 doxies said...

Oh geez Frankie, I kinda gots a litle teary eyed reading your sappy sweet post. Okays, so it really wasn't sweet but it was sooooo dead on knows me so well...hehehehe!
Howevers, you sorta left out some impawtant info bouts da dumping failed to tells your viewers bout aaaaaall da taunting emails you sent me...hehehehe! But, it was a most entertaining day to say da least. I still laughs bout it.

Preacher Puddles

Cheryl, Indiana, Shingo and Molly said...

We can't go see Puddles without taking an entire 18 wheeler full of beer. She can sure put it away!!! Maybe we should call her the wee wee weiner, after all that beer!! We'll never forget her tending bar and dancing on tables at the luau!!

Woofs and Kisses!
The Fiesty Three

Tucker said...

BOL. I can't wait until the 28th for my roasty posty. Puddles will learn not to mess with the Tucker!

woof - Tucker

Mollie Jo and Bobo said...

What a grand Roast of Puddles Duddles! We love remembering all of her "Antics".

Wags and Licks,
Mollie Jo & Bobo
& Lolly Pop

sprinkles said...

I don't know Miss Puddles but she sounds like quite the gal! This post is hysterical!

Remington said...

Great roast, my friend! You tell it like it is....

NAK and The Residents of The Khottage Now With KhattleDog! said...

I too have only recently had Puddles invade my life -

She's made khwite the splash!

PeeEssWoo: I do hope she's inside right now fur it is wikhked hot enough out there to khook her furter and then some!

the booker man said...

mr. frankie,
BOL!! i kinda can't help but think that maybe you should have waited to post this until after the wedding. anywho, it was a grrreat miss puddles roast. i will use you as an example when i write mine! :)))
the booker man

Unknown said...

Love your most excellent roasting of da Puddles......HOWEVER, you skeered my mom to death this mornings when she furst saw this!

She through downs her blackberries and runs to check da date...then she goes to double check da date on da Puddles Roast Badge...ALL THE WHILE muttering a bunch of HBO words!!
You sees...she THOUGHT she had missed da official Puddles Roast Date! BOL! BOL!

She be okays now, she made sure to finish her Roast-Post at lunchtime, so now she is ready to go! (in facts, she is so excited bouts it...she would kinda likes to post early too! )

GOOD JOB! (cept for that skeering mom part)

Bella Roxy & Macdui said...

We're with Booker. This roast is too close to the wedding for her to forget and far enough away for her to think up some real devilment for the wedding. Frankie, you might end up married to Puddles!!!!

XXXXOOO Daisy, Kendra & Bella

Those Elgin Pugs said...

TeeHee Hees!!! SNORTS!!!!

HA HA!!!

HU HU's!!

Oh's 'dats good stuffs!!
We's can't stop laughing!! Plus we's already been drinking some "water" for 'da pawty tonites!!

HA HA HA HA HA!! Wooo!! Oops...Pfft...Burps.... from what we know 'bout 'dat Puddles Doodles Kool aid brewers..
'dats pretty on 'da funny moneys!!!

Izzy, Josie and Anakin Man

♥ Sallie said...

Now that is a Roast! LOL! Puddles is such a good sport.

Pippen said...

You've set the bar high, Frankie! Wonderful roast of Puddles! We can hardly wait until Wednesday to read the rest of them!

Sam and Pippen

Sargeant said...

BOL BOL BOL! WaaRoo, Frankie.
Grr and Woof,

My Mind's Eye said...

Hi Ya certainly does appear that you know the long and short of Ms. Puddles Duddles Rainwater. etc, etc. etc.
The next highly anticipated event is the big 'I do' day.
Madi and Mom

George The Lad said...

Hey Frankie thanks for filling me in on Puddles, Great Roasting
See Yea George xxx

Ruby and Penny said...

Oh Frankie. You really let Puddles have it.
Love Ruby & Penny

Kari in Alaska said...

what a great roast!

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