Thursday, April 9, 2009

getting the pattern down

In my continuing battle with the Vicious Vacula family. I am trying to build my arsenal of knowledge and weapons.
I need your help to come up with ways to defeat these monsters. I am willing to try almost anything.
I have already been given two good ideas. One is to put out a trail of crumbs or toys and lead him down the road to Jim the Grinch Guy's house. That would solve two of my problems at once. Vacula would be gone and The Grinch would be so busy doing battle with him that he would leave me and my mom alone. I like this plan.
The other idea was to chew off the end of Vacula Jr.'s Leash thing. I did not know that Vacula's got power from inside our WALLS!!! Mom says that is right. Who would have thought that. So, if I can chew the end off, no more big power. Butt, mom says I am not supposed to chew on cords. I could get lickocute ed. I didn't think that sounded bad until mom says it does not mean that I am cute and like to lick people. She says it is a very much dangerous thing that hurts.
Okay, so if getting lickocute ed is bad and dangerous... why do the Vaculas love it? I have to think about that part. Maybe it is because they are soooo very much mean that it doesn't hurt them.
I have noticed a pattern in the Vacula Raids. They seem to usually happen on the day after clothes get washed. Mom says that some monsters like to come out when the moon is very much full and bright. Maybe Vaculas can smell the nice clean clothes and sheets and stuff. Or maybe dirty clothes keep them away. Mom says garlic and crosses and daylight keep some monsters in their hiding places.
Maybe I can find some Vacula repellent.
Do you suppose monsters can be trained to be nice and good and dachshundlike?
I need a plan of action. Please help. It is just too much for me to do alone.


Nibbles Treats said...

Have you tried barking at it? That seems to help when we do that. Our crazy Tucker is actually friends with the beast (but he's not sharing any words of wisdom. Tucker is a dog of very little brain, if you know what we mean).

Tinkerbell, Oscar and Tucker

Frankie Furter said...

Hi T.T. & O.,
BARKING !!! That is a grrreat idea. I have never tired that. I always just run and hide somewhere.
Hummm, Tucker seems to be using the old, make friends with the biggest bully, method. You have to be pretty brave in the first place to use that technique.
I wonder if Oscar's new glow in the dark collar would have any effect on a Vacula?
Thanks for the suggestions. Keep them coming as you think of them. I would like to do an entire post on Helpful Hints for How To HOUND the Horrible.
A public service project for all furfolks.