Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Vacula the Vicious Chapt. 3


This is me working to get my toys JUST THE WAY I WANT THEM. I bring the ones I want from my toy room into the living room. I arrange them artistically. However, as you see BELOW they aren't going to be staying this way for long. Scroll down for Chapt. 3 of my Dachshund Horror Story

Vacula the Vicious
Chapt. 3

I tried to hide my face. My tail was tucked in tight. Every muscle in my body was tight when I heard the struggle begin. Mom was saying those words that she always says when she is doing battle with Vacula. They are very powerful words even though they don’t have very many letters in them. They are words that I am never allowed to use. I think that’s because they are only for very much bad occasions. Vacula is trying to drown her out with his ghastly sounds.
As horrible as this is, I know it is about to get worse. Vacula is always able to get the upper claw on mom, at least for a while. I know that any moment now, he is going to make a break for it. He wants to come up here and get behind my ‘cliner and GET ME. My heart is hammering. Deep in my little chest it is saying, “COMING, COMING, COMING.”
They are on the landing. I think they must have declared a cease struggle. It’s the calm before the war continues. Mom grabs Vacula’s leash. She tries to keep him tied up so he can’t get away from her, and AT me. It never works like it should though. Instead of doing what she does with MY leash, she just sticks the end into that thing in the wall. I want to howl at her, “That never works. You need to tie it to something really big and heavy. That is what you do when you don’t want me to move away. Tie it, mom. Tie it short. Tie it TIGHT.”, but I’m too afraid to whine, let alone howl. It’s the exact same thing every few days. Vacula is not only mean and vicious, he’s STRONG. He’s going to pull that thing out. He always does. Danger and fear are about to drive me to run from the room like the HOUNDS OF HELL are nipping at my tail.
~~~~~~~~~~~~ I made it back home. It was very much cold up on Sarge's mountain. It even snowed on Friday. I ate some of it. Then I hurried and made some of it YELLOW! I tried to coax Sarge to eat some of the "colorful" snow, butt Lori wouldn't let him. HE HE HE
The snow melted off by late afternoon and I got to go outside and dig some PAWSOME holes. Sarge had to stay inside his fence and I took full advantage by mocking him. It was a grrrreat thing to do. I even got to play in the creek until I got too cold.
We had some very much good roasted lamb to eat. I was going to bring both of the bones home with me, butt mom said if I want Sarge to be nice to me I have to be nice to him. Maybe ants will get on his bone. We also have some really good bones from my favorite store where Woodie lives. I was very much smart. I just had mom put mine in my Play Pen thingy with me. Sarge can't get in there to take my stuff or to "mess" with me. It drives him crazy. I love it. I lay there and chew and wiggle around and squeak my toys and watch him get nutty. It is some PAWSOME entertainment for me.
When we came up my road, we stopped at Jim the Grinch Guy's house to get our mail and stuff. I got to see my nice friend Fawn Tell. Then the Grinch Guy came and that good time went to cat crap real fast, let me tell you. He wants my mom to give him a bunch of points for getting our mail. I don't think he should get any points because he lost more than he even had when he was mean to me two weeks ago.
BUTT: HE NEEDS TO LEARN TO BE CAREFUL WHAT HE ASKS FOR. SEE BELOW.
To Whom It May Concern: Be it known that Jim Bolyard has suffered a POINTS set back.
He is now POINTS BANKRUPT!!!
In an effort to improve his situation AND THE SITUATION OF ALL WHO HAVE TO PUT UP WITH HIS GRINCH-LIKE BEHAVIORS, The government of Twp. Rd. 202 NE Has decided to give him A ONE TIME ONLY BAILOUT.
Be it known that J.B. (a.k.a. Jim the Grinch Guy) has been awarded the 202
AIG PACKET (Awful Insidious Grinch).
This packet is to be considered a very close cousin to that other AIG which also gives BONUSES to those who certainly have failed to earn them.
These Stimulus Points and Bonus payments ARE Taxable under Federal, State, and City codes.
20 POINTS
A = awful I = insidious G = Grinch Program administrator 14980 Twp. Rd. 202 NE.

4 comments:

Henry the Dog said...

Wow Frankie - you have TONS of toys. I only have five. You are one lucky little guy. Mum's going to do stuff with Vacula today too. He doesn't scare me that much. I simply sit on the sofa - he can't get me there.

Frankie Furter said...

Hi Henry, Gee you are lucky. My Vacula can and does attack the couch (sofa) and even my 'cliner chair. He goes after them and sucks up all the very much great stuff that I like to hide between the cushions and down in the cracks. I will be telling about that in some future chapter.
Licks & Wags.

Nibbles Treats said...

We bark at the vacula. That always shuts it up!

Tinkerbell, Oscar and Tucker

Frankie Furter said...

Hi Tinkerbell, Oscar, and Tucker, I have tried that one. It works on Vacula Jr. a little bit because he is not as powerful as Vacula is. I even tried to bite him once. That didn't work either. He tired to suck my teeth right out of my head. He is horrible.
Maybe you could send me some of your barks. They might be stronger than mine are.