Friday, June 19, 2015

Kitchen Counter Suit... Case# 87-13

Ring  Ring......  Ring Ring   ....   Ringaling....
    Judge Furter Speaking...
Frankie????   It is I.... your Cussin FRANCINE....     I was wondering ... now that my Darling little Francine has Graduated Bidness School....    Do you happen to have any Job opening fur ME???   I need somethingy to occupy my time.

FRANCINE !!!.....  good to hear from you and your timing couldn't be BETTER....  I have a Kitchen Counter suit coming up... and it will be with a JURY...     I could REALLY use your help around the office...  Can you start TODAY?
YES,  I'll be RIGHT OVER........      "click"

BAILIFF????   Where is my BAILIFF???     
    HERE...  Your Honorated...    RAZ at your service...
OH,  good I was hoping you would be available fur this trial, RAZ...      now we gotta talk about some Jury stuffs...  You will need to CONTROL them...   and  be SURE that they have SNACKS and TOYS and stuffs...    the SNACKS need to be Species Appropriate...   so check to see what they might need.... and have PLENTY of EVERYTHINGY...   OH and about the SEATING....  IN THE BOX... (it is BOX day you know)...  Be sure to have a PERCH fur the BIRDbrain and put the TALL Ones in the BACK...  Short in the Front Row...
     Yes, your Nobleness....  and do you want me to make arrangements fur their Meals and stuffs???
NO....   I will have cussin FRANCINE do that...
      FRANCINE.... you need to contact the Road Kill Cafe and be SURE that they have what they need fur the Juror's....   Species Specific Meals and  stuffs...  
     AND.... just to be on the SAFE side....   Call over to the Blogville Hilton... and Book a Block of ROOMS.....    just in Case...   I have to    SEA QUESTer the Jurors... {{Shiver}}
    OKAY Frankie..... I MEAN... JUDGE....   I'll do those thingys just as soon as I take care of a couple ...   very IMPORTANT thingys  fur you...
FINE.... now you two Get Busy...       Court starts in like 87 mins..


THIS will be super...    now I have to get ready fur this NIGHT SQUIRREL of a Trial...   
    XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Meanwhile.... over at the Paw Offices...
    ROXY?    Are you getting everythingy ready fur the Jury Selections and stuffs?
I'm TRYING.... butt the Phone is driving me Whackadoodle...    WE need  some HELP in this office...       Why don't you call your cussin Ernestine and give her a summer job?
OKAY..... will do....        ...  butt I think I will TEXT her instead.... she will get back to us faster...        clickety clack  snick click clickety...   SEND....
     Ring   Ring   Ringy Dingy...
Paw Office.... Roxy here.... 
ROXY......  it's ERNESTINE.....   I just got a TEXT from Ernie and I am ON MY WAY to the office now...      and guess what????    FRANCINE just got a Job... working fur Cussin FRANKIE... OOOPS....   I had better remember to call him JUDGE from now on...
GRRRREAT NEWS....   THANKS ... see you in a few...    "snick"

ROXY????   Are you ready to head over to Court?    We have Jury Selection in about 87 mins..
      Did you show Ernestine how to answer the phones and how to leave messages and stuffs?
I am ALMOST finished with getting her up to speed with everythingy... then I need to change into my Court Clothes...      you go on ahead and I'll meet you there...
OKAY Sweet Cakes....     here's a kiss fur LUCK...    Muuuuuwah.. smooch.


 Pssssssss ROXY....   Why do you have THOSE on???   Judge will never allow it.
If he starts SCREAMING again....  I don't want MY ears to bleed...
TAKE them OFF and   Did you remember to bring your LICENSE ????
 Got it RIGHT HERE...     

   

ALL RISE.....   COURT is now in SESSION...... his Moppyheadedness F. Furter pawsiding... 
Crinkle   Rustle....  crinkle   CRINKLE...

THANK YOU RAZ.......       Are you ready to bring the Jurors and Alternates in?
Yes, Your Helpfulness...        CALL THE JURORS to the BOX...
Aunty Yam,    Sammy T. Cat,    Reilly,  Denny,  Cookie,   Andy,   Yente Ruby, Kali, Kismet,  Kaci,
  Walter, and Lassie...     Alternates  Benji, Sweetie, Tasha, Snoopy, and Anna
YOU may all be seated.        Is my Court Recorder and Interpretationer  Sally Ann,  Here?    

I am.... your honor....   and ready to begin the recording and interpretationing 

GOOD...
I see that all the Pawties for both sides are HERE Also...        So Crinkle Rustle rustle crunch...
just a moment.....  I need to go back to CHAMBERS to check on somethingy...  Rustle crinkle rustle crinkle crinkle...    
    WHAT THE HECK?????  WHAT IS WITH THIS ROBE and My WIG.... every time I move they make NOISES and they are STIFF as a Dead Squirrel...    wrinkle crinkle rustle...   
   FRANCINE...?????... What did you DO to my ROBE and my WIG...??????   
I took them out fur Cleaning.....   You want to look your BESTEST  up there, Frankie...  I told the cleaners to use EXTRA STARCH in BOTH.....  beclaws THIS could be a LONG trial.
       SIGH......       


OKAY.....    crunch crinkle wrinkle crunch...  we are READY to begin this  ... THINGY...
    Jurors.....   you are INSTRUCTED to maintain the dignity of the court at all times....   no fightin biting  or butt scootin...  (snacking and QUIET stuffie Playing will be pawmitted, within reason)    and you are ORDERED    NOT to discuss ANYTHINGY that goes on in this courtroom...  while the trial is going on..      No talking about any of it... among yourselves or with ANYONE Else...   Crinkle  crunch  wrinkle     WHILE you are serving on this jury your needs will be met...   Just Signal  Bailiff RAZ  if you need to Potty or the Snacks are running RUSTLE  low...        Raise you hand, wing, or paw... if you understand these instructions.
    crinkle rustle crunch     FINE.... I see that everybuddy has SOMETHING Raised..   
ROXY?   Do you have any objections to any of these good citizens of Blogville?
No, your Honestly.    
Ernie... How say YOU?
I find them ALL to be excellent examples of  Easy's PEE ers...      

Psssssst.... Ernie....  what is with Frankie???  What is that NOISE and why is he Squirming?
Shhhhhhhh,,,,    I don't have a CLUE....    he is scratching and stuffs like he has FLEAS...

VERY WELL THEN....  crinkle  Rustle  SCOOTCH  SQUIRM  crinkle crunch SCRITCH  SCRATCH SCRITCH SCRITCH... rustle rustle  crunch  CRINKLE...   I believe that is enough fur now...    I will send the Jury to their area  where RAZ has their LUNCH ready...
     crinkle  SCOOTCH  scritch  scratch...crumple    AND....   CHEWS a FOREMAN while you are EATING on the Public's 87¢ while your at it...   

COURT WILL RESUME TOMORROW...  after I get my Robe and Wig ...  SOFTENED...
    {{{   THWAPPPPPppppppp}}}   crinkle crunch rustle...

FRANCINE !!!!!    Get me the Heck outta this crinkle rustle SCRATCHY Robe and Wig.... and take them BACK to the Cleaners and have them do them OVER AGAIN... with EXTRA SOFTENER....         AND... bring the ITCH CREAM from the closet.
     NOTE TO SELF:    NEPOTISM is BAD...







28 comments:

onespoiledcat said...

Note to self: Tell Mom NEVER to use starch on my blankies! Well I'm excited that the pawsuit is finally underway. I'll have to keep my mouth SHUT since we jurors can't say a thing to anyone. Hopefully there will be no SEA QUESTering because I don't sleep well when I'm not in my own bed.

Hugs, Sammy

Julie said...

Oh this trails is gonna be funs...that is when Frankie can get the starch outta his furs and we can get started!!!
Loves and licky kisses
Princess Leah xxx
PeeS Haf you the address of the 'Road Kill Cafe' and do they do mail order????

Mark Muller said...

hahahaha.... what super kitchen counter suit! but guess what? it is interesting to learn how different the kitchen counter suits and the rules are in your country...
Blogging is candy for general education, that's for sure.
my mom had such a crunch crinkle starch accident once.... her granny thought her jeans looks scruffy and clochard-like so she starched that pants and she even put a crease in her pants... think that was the one and only 501 with a crease...
easy rider

Reilly-Denny Cowspotdogs said...

we are ready - it is going to be an exciting time

LBJ said...

This is going to be a hair-raising trial.

Abby Lab

Ranger said...

You got your paws full.... trying to keep dat Jury in check and quiet.
Dis is gonna be a good one!
If you need any extra pawlice assistance in da courtroom.... you can always count on me.
Wags,
Ranger

Bouncing Bertie said...

Er, not sure you'll find 'species appropriate' snacks for Aunty Yam at the Roadkill Cafe…
Toodle pip!
Bertie.

Oz theTerrier said...

Oh dawgs in court...this seems like it will be a long, drawn out trial. I hope for everyone's sake it can be decided lickety-split!
Oz

Yamini MacLean said...

Hari OM
got it... sit still, keep schtuum and no sniggering at starchy thwapperists...

(THank you Bertie lad for pointing out a potential issue - though I am fairly certain they will provide OJ and Potato skins with oodles of cheese on board.... OMD... jury jooty is an excuse to indulge... who knew???) At the ready, YAM-aunty xxx

MilitaryPugWife said...

Looking forward to an interesting trial!

Madi and Mom said...

OMDS FIRST OF ALL MY MOM IS FIRED...I NEED A NEW ASSISTANT SHE SET MY AUTO POST FOR PM INSTEAD OF AM.

THAT IS SUCH A HANDSOME/GORGEOUS PHOTO OF FRANCINE/FRANKIE WE ARE AWE STRUCK...
NOW WITH THAT SAID WE CAN TRULY STATE THIS IS ONE OF YOUR FUNNIER/SERIOUS POST.
YOU CRACK US UP
HUGS MADI YOUR BFFF

stellaroselong said...

This is going to keep us on the edge of our seats, we are hoping it will be commercial free.....stella rose

Laika said...

Exciting. We will keep up with your trial.

Wags from Laika & Vaks.

Sally Ann and Andy said...

Oh boy, Welshie court reporting services is quite busy. Wow, all of those jurors, and they are very fluffy, feathered and furry. One of them has no furs at all. She barks in very funny manner. The judge sure wiggled around. I wonder if he had his frontline this month, maybe his assistant needs to make an appointment for him for an oatmeal bath.
Welshie nose pokes,
Sally Ann

Kismet said...

Oh WOW. Snacks from the Road Kill Café? I'll stick to bird seed. Where's Sasha now that we really need her?

Patrice and Higgins said...

OMD, your trials are nail biters ever fur sure!!!!

~Higgins

The Daily Pip said...

Francine! Oh my, Angel Pip told me all about you ...but we have never actually met in the furs. Isn't this exciting! Now, I've met the whole gang.

Oops, sorry didn't mean to interrupt court ...yes, your honor, I promise no more outbursts in court.

Two French Bulldogs said...

We think we saw Francine flirting with a juror
Lily & Edward

Sketching with Dogs said...

Hope you get everything nice and soft again.
Dip can't promise not to butt scoot or bite, we're afraid....
Dip and Elliot x

Sarge said...

Wow, this kitchenCounter suit is gonna be the trial of the year! Holy cow, having Francine and Ernestine involved scares the crap outa me. BOL She better get that robe softened or else there will be one cranky thwapperator on the bench. I just home the 'ine girls don't get ahold of the VS, K & D fleasa card. YIKES I can't wait to see the rest of this trial!
Grr and Woof,
Sarge, Police Commish

The Army of Four said...

Did anyone ever tell you that your cousins look an awful lot like you and Ernie? No, really.

Why is Cammie laughing at me?
Yours sincerely,
Margaret Thatcher

Casey said...

You know, I think human juries would go MUCH better if THEY were allowed a little quiet stuffie playing in the box too!

Bella Roxy & Macdui said...

Hey Francine....Ernestine....

Now that we have a court break...wanna hit Victorious Secret with me? Wait till you see their new line!

Sally Ann and Andy said...

Oh, Francine and Ernestine, I want to go to Victorious Secret with y'all. I need some new clothes. I take y'all out to Starbucks for venti carob frappes.
Sally Ann

Poodle At Play said...

Oh boy, this trial is off to an interesting start! Can't wait to see how this all goes once the judge gets all de-starched!

♥♥ The OP Pack ♥♥ said...

Rut roh, between Rpxy with her headphones, and then the addition of Francine and Ernesting, this is going to be a wild trial!!!

Woos - Ciara and Lightning

M. K. Clinton said...

This is so much better than those old reruns of Hairy Mason!

marley said...

Keepin it in da familee Yeronner Frankie my pal i see...wize move...keep da wages bill down to like 87 dollars....