Saturday, June 20, 2015

Case # 87-13 Kitchen Counter Suit... Peeps vs. EASY Rider...

FRANCINE!!!!!!!    RAZ!!!!   I need you both...
   
Yes, your Honorarium.....   we are here... What do you need????

I don't care Who does WHAT butt here is the list...   Check to see if the Road Kill Cafe has the foodables ready for today... and tell them to add an extra serving of SUN FLOWER and Peanuts...  and MORE CHEESE this time...          THEN     DOUBLE check with the Blogville Hilton to make CERTAIN they are ready to house the Jury... in CASE they need to be SEA Questerated...           OH and CALL the Pawlice dept...  I think we need EXTRA security at the court house AND at the HOTEL if need be...
      Raz, did you hear if they had selected a FOREPAWson fur themselves?
I believe that they DID...   butt there may have been some BRIBES   butt I think it was not an easy task.
           FRANCINE!!!!    Have my ROBE and Judgey WIG come back yet, and are the SOFT this time?
          They HAVE your Your Honoratedness....     Sorry about that.... I thought you would like to look SHARP... on the Bench..
     SHARP YES....   Scratchy NO...       Never again...!!!!!   
     Is Sally Ann ready to translate?   I can't understand a single word that Miss Us and Miss Your   Rider say...      
   Once you have all that taken care of.... Let me know and we will get this Show on the Road...  I am going to take a short NAP..        zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Wake up Your Hostile...   everything is ... as you commanded.
THANK YOU Raz...     Call the court to ORDER, please...

ALLLLLLLLL   RISE...........      Court of Common Fleas.... is now in Session the Honetly,  Frankie Furter, Pawsiding...


The JURORS are reminded that there ARE snacks... that are to be SHARED....  Be sure that Aunty Yam gets some CHEESE this time...   and remember that the TOYS are to be SILENT during court...       RAZ....  please Prop up that PERCH....  Kismet is listing to the LEFT...    and put some Sunflower seeds in her CUP, Please.
    NOW then Have you chosen a FOREPAWson?       
YES, Your Noblesome....  It is I....   DENNY who will serve in this ImPAWtant Catastrophe.
Fine, Denny.... butt I believe you mean Capacity...
We are now ready to hear from ...  the PAWsicution...   ERNIE?
THANK YOU Your Naughty...   
    I call MISS YOUR  RIDER to the stand...     and have his exhibitions ready to display..


 Miss Your  RIDER....  please speak in Blogvillese as much as pawsible....   so that the Jury can comprehend the MAGNITUDEDNESS of your Testicles  TESTIMONY....   
WEE  WEEE    I will TRY Miss Your Ernestly...    
Very well,    now is this the telegram that you sent to me... asking that I represent YOU over my furend Easy Rider??
WEE  it is...
Sort of Sneaky and Cheeky of you, I must say...        MOVING ON...
 Miss Your Rider....    may I simply refer to you as Miss Your?
WE WE...
Do you need to visit the TREE AREA???  You keep saying Wee Wee...   is that Frenchy Fry fur  PEE?...        Well,  I will be BRIEF.....      Is this your attempt to gather some of the FUNDS that OUR EASY... lost when Miss Us Rider...   refused to Pay him for the LIP O SMACK shun?
     WE...
So were you out there on the Streets fur MORE or Less than 87 hours...  Miss Your???
   A Leetle Beet LESS , I would say.
Clearly not your best and most sincere effort...  


 As we can ALL see by Exhibitionist #2.   
 AND did you attempt to pawcure a REPLACEMENT for Easy's Purloined Berd Nest?
squeeeeeeeek    squeeeeeek    squeeeeeeek          squeek  squeek   squeeeeeel...

{{THWAPPPPP.....  WHAT did I say about NOT Squeeking toys in the Jury Box???
Answer the question Miss Your Rider..
Yes your ONWARD...          I DEED try to construct a replacement nest...
Let us see how well THAT turned out....  Exhibitionary #2. and #3..


 Here we have visual proof of your Half GRASSE specimen ...    WHAT THE HECK???     YOUR HoNESTful....    I believe that a CERTAIN Member of the JURY....  has been TAMPERING with the Evidence...    Squeeeeeeeek  Squeeee  Squeeek          I ask that the EGG be Tested for Freshness in the FERTILE hope that it is Edible and NOT just some Practical Yolk that has been played...    Cussin SARGE can tend to that chore..
SO ORDERED....   THWAPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!
Now then Judge Furter ordered that these thingys be done.  Is that Correct Miss Your?
WEE WEE     he did... and WE did TRY..
Thank you Miss Your...       I believe from your constantly whimpering saying WEE WEE that you truly must NEED to see a TREE TREE ... and Quickly...    Thank you fur your testiclemony...      I turn you over to EASY's Attorney the RAVISHING ROXY fur VERY CROSS... examination..

THANK YOU ERNIE....      Now Miss Your...     Did you in fact collect enough ALMS and or Nigerian Euros to even buy My CLIENT...  EASY RIDER...  a single TOY or BALL???  DID YOU????      CLEARLY NOT...   
No Mud Dam...   I  TRIED BUTT could not procure the requisite funding.
I SEE!!    
Now as to the DAMAGED and DISCARDED  Berd Nest that Sweet LOVING Easy had intended to give to YOU fur YOUR FATHER's DAY GIFT...   ....    Did you construct a FINE Specimen of a Nest?   Was it fabricated with carefully selected Sticks and Twigs and lined with the softest of DOWN?
Well, no... not exactly...  Butt I did get out MANY and Varied TOOLS and I used the things at my DISPOSAL...
CURIOUS that you would use the word DISPOSAL.... since you DID dispose of the TREASURE that your EASY RIDER had intended as a GIFT fur YOU...   
     I have NO FURther questions fur this WITLESS.
I believe that it is time for a short RECESS...   fur Foodables, Potty break and NAPS !!!!
    We will resume testiclemoaning  in   87 mins.     {{   THWAAAAPPPPPPPPP   }}

                Some time later....

                                 
I call  MISS US Rider to the Stand at this time...
    And I pawsent Exhibit 4
               Miss Us RIDER....  May I call you MISS US?...       Did Judge Furter declare that you were to pawvide and Pawpare a Gore May  meal of Easy's Chewsing???

Yes,  he did butt you need to know that Easy has $$ EXPANSIVE $$    tastes and he wanted things that were OUT of our BUDGET.. and  ...

WELL that is NOT the issue.... the issue is...Squeeeeek    squeek Squeeeeeeeeeeeeek
{{   STOP THAT..   THWAPPPPP      Stop I say......  RAZ....   find out WHO is squeeking that toy...   and Confiscate it...}}   continue Ernie..
Thank yo....   RUMBLE   GRUMBLE  Scritch Scratch    GRRRRRRRRRR   Rrrr Rrrr RRRRR    Snarl   Snapppppp      RUMBLE  RUMBLE  GRRRR  Rrrrr   
THWAPPPPPPP  THWAPPPPPP   THWAAAPPPPPPPP!!!     
     The JURY will SETTLE down.... NO TUG OF WAR PLAYING   and DO NOT GROWL ...
Squaaaak    screech...  it wasn't ME... I was right here on my perch Preening my feathers, your honortorium...           QUIET in the JURY BOX.....     I will NOT tolerate any TATTLE TAILs and Gripes and SQUAWKING....      
       If this Jury does NOT contain itself I WILL order you to be SEA Questered Until you CAN.    Grrrrrrrrrr   ???? DID I JUST HEAR SOMETHING???       You TASK me....   YOU TASK ME...    and I will NOT tolerate this in my Court Room...     NOT another Grrrrr or Squeek or Sound out of you!!!!     {{THWAPPPPP}}     
     OKAY..... now as I was Saying....     the COST of the foodables that Easy did Chews are not the Issue... the Issue is.... the appropriateness of what you PAWPared.
   Look at these...   

Miss Us.... I ask you........ DID you PawPare this....   SWILL   STUFFS OR did you simply BUY it in some Store or other???   DID you Work up a sweat Cutting and Chopping and Mixing and FIXING???????   
Well... the LID was stuck on VEEEEEERY TIGHT... and
Did you Fry... Sear...  Poach... or ROAST... any of PHHHHHHHHHARTTTTT 
WHO PHARRRRRTED????       WHO PHARTED in MY court???       THIS is your LAST WARNING.....           THWAPPPPPPPPPP
As I was saying....  did you Stand over a HOT STOVE  in an attempt to TRY and Blend together a GORE MAY Meal fur EASY....  AS YOU WERE ORDERED??? And THEN...   LOOK AT THIS....



Did you then   Throw MY BELOVED CLIENT Into  Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz  
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzz      
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
{{   THWAPPPPPPPPPPppppppppppp   Thwapppppp }}}
             NAPPING????  In my Jury BOX/??   I just gave you 87 mins. to eat and Pee ... and    NAP!!   How Dare you NAP during this..  VERY   IMPOTENT  TRIAL  !!!    
       THAT is IT...     IT  I say...     THIS JURY is now OFFICIALLY    SEA QUESTIONABLED   until MONDAY.

    We will continue this  After Father's Day...    
Denny....   I need to see YOU in my Chambers...  
RAZ...   YOU will hand this... RUNAWAY JURY ... over to Blogville's Pawlice Dept...   to deliver Directly to the B. Hilton where you will   Stand guard  at all Entrances and Exits to be SURE there are NO... MISSING Jurors come MONDAY...
                         Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!
          {{{  THWAPPPPPPppppp   }}}
Now DENNY.....  
Are you going to THWAPPERATE me?
   NO,    BUTT .....
  YOU are the ForePawson of this Jury.....   You are to call a MEETING as soon as you get to the Hotel....   and you MAKE them understand that they are in DEEP Squirrel Scat.
YES, your HORRIDSHIP...   I'll make sure they Behave...   when we come back to court...  I'll use some of Reilly's bossy words and stuffs.        Can I call him fur Advice...???
NO WAY.... no outside contact while Sea Quested... and NO talking about the case... tell 'em THAT too...
      Now, go catch up with the rest of them...    I'll see you all on Monday.

NOTE TO SELF:       Bring the HEAVY DUTY Thwapper to court on MONDAY...


24 comments:

Sarge said...

Hey Your MopHeadedNess!
Wow, this is definitely the trial of the century! Your jury seems a bit rambunctious but I think Denny will work that out. OMD the peeps are having a rough time on the stand. Great exhibits and I think we're all up in suspenders on this one! Can't wait for the next session. (BOL this is hysterical! ahem)
Grr and Woof,
Sarge, Police Commish

Reilly-Denny Cowspotdogs said...

There are 2 Denny's - gosh we got confused. Now I think I - the Reilly Dog should be the Forepawson for this Jury - I am an International Detective after all and have an excellent understanding of the law.

Mark Muller said...

hahahaha.... guess what? your french is much better than the squeeeking of my staff.
that's pawsome! I bet SHE will blame all that cruelty things on HIM.. that's her strategy...HE always wears the shirt with the big fat G... for guilty :o)
easy rider

Madi and Mom said...

I fell on the floor MOLING, this case has now gone international involving many many folks. I hope you have it settled to everyone's liking...otherwise you will need an alaphabet of organizations....you know INTERPOL, FBI, CIA,SBI, CSI AND M6 and mr Holmes might need to make a ghostly. Appearance!
Hugs
Madi your bfffffffff

MilitaryPugWife said...

Oh my goodness this is some trial! The drama! Xo MaddiethePug

Madi and Mom said...

COOL NAMES ARE OPTIONAL. MOM HAS BEEN COMING UP WITH SOME SO IF YOU ARE INSPIRED THAT IS FINE IF NOT MOM WILL DO IT. SOMETIMES IT DEPENDS ON THE CLOWN OUTFIT SHE SELECTS FOR YOU TOO.
BERTIE HAS TWO SIDEKICKS IN HIS PHOTO SO MOM CAME UP WITH NAMES FOR THEM
HUGS MADI

♥♥ The OP Pack ♥♥ said...

We have to paw it to you - a most interesting trial!!! Or should we say tres interessant:)

Woos - Ciara and Lightning

Kismet said...

Being a very conscientious juror, I tried to read the transcript of this trial and still can't make out the testicalmony in yellow. It must be my bird eyes.

Yamini MacLean said...

Hari OM
(buurrrrpp - eek, too much cheese... thank goodness that came out after see quest a nation...

Hope I can get some good sleep in at the Hilton, need my full concentratio for this one (think I may be going blind, as the yellow testiclemony proved hard work...) Yikes, fellow jurors - did you hear Furter-sahib mention the extra large thwapperoonie??? Pull yerselfs together fur Monday!!! Hugs and wags, YAM-aunty xxx

Lassiter Chase and Benjamin said...

I am on the jury and i think i saw a mouse squeeking in the jury box and eating our jury cheese. Oh wait...I think someone was watching tv on their i-bone during the proceedings that had a cat and mouse in the show.

Jans Funny Farm said...

Things are never dull in your court, are they! Glad your starchiness has been taken care of so you can thwap de gavel all you want.

speedyrabbit said...

gosh its very exciting in you court,xx Speedy

Sally Ann and Andy said...

OH Boy, this trial is super exciting. If I could suggest a translator for the judge. . . I know of a four year old Eskie who could translate all those "wee wee wees'." All the court reporting is sure hard, but I know that after the jury leaves; then, I can squeak some of the toys without upsetting the judge.
Sally Ann

Sally Ann and Andy said...

Easy,
Si votre mamam et Papi voulaient quelqu'un qui pouraient traduire, mon frere, il parle anglais, francais, allmande, et chien. Ban non, il vous attend, si vous auriez besion l'assistance.
Sally Ann

The Army of Four said...

I love a great international drama! This is better than anything on TV!
Yours sincerely,
Margaret Thatcher

Poodle At Play said...

WOW this is off to such an...umm...uh...INTERESTING start! BOL

Chef Sasha said...

HI FRANKIE AND ERNIE I AM ZIGGY AND I AM SUPER EXCITIMOUS TO MEET YOU BOTH ANGEL SASHA TOLD ME ALL ABOUT YOU AND I KNOW WE ARE GONNA BE PALS I AM A BOY SO YOU CAN TEACH ME BOY STUFF TO DO AND GET IN TO OK I HAVE TO GO BUT I WILL COME BACK AND SEE YOU AGAIN AND AGAIN


LOVE ZIGGY

Cookie's Comments said...

Oooh, I am so excited. This is my first time on a Jury. I did not expect to be see questered right away -- hope I can get a message to Mum so she won't be worried.

BTW, Your Honor the Easy's are French so when they say "wee wee wee" they mean "yes, yes, yes" -- not that they have to go potty, bol. Hope you don't mind my mentioning it!!!

Not sure when I'll be able to post cos of the see questering. Wonder who i'll be sharing a room with.

Toodle pip

Cookie

Dolly theDoxie said...

OMD I've never seen Easy in the B-A-T-H before! And boy was he a bad boy I guess I can see why. Love Dolly

M. K. Clinton said...

Wow! That is more exciting than Judge Judy! I hope these jurors can be contained until Monday. You may have some sneaking out for Father's Day fun. You're definitely going to need a bigger thwapper!

onespoiledcat said...

Gosh I was careful NOT to fall asleep in the jury box and I did NOT bring any toys with me (although I almost did) and I did not make any rude noises because I skipped breakfast so there would be no "accidents" so I'm TOTALLY innocent of causing a problem....however, I am looking forward to a quiet weekend in the B. Hilton! Bring on the snacks - do we have cable TV????

Hugs, Sammy the Juror Dood

Ruby said...

OMD, can I help it if I at too many taco's last night??? I TRIED to blame it on Ma, butts she wasn't in the jury box...hehehe Oh,and when OH WHEN, do I gets my squeaky toy back???!!!!
that was my most favorite....
Kisses,
Ruby ♥

Millie and Walter said...

Walter is sorry for squeaking that toy during the testimony. He just can't resist a squeaker toy.

marley said...

Dis trial be hazzin its own box set I fink yeronner Frankie my pal...do it run to 87 blogs or wot?