Saturday, September 3, 2011

PAWlitical Science Class (PAWly Sigh)



Good Morning Class... Please take your seats and we will be ready to begin.
Please allow me to Introduce myself. I am the current mayor of Blogville. I was elected in November 2010 soon after my marriage to the Lovely Furst Ladies of Blogville, RUBY AND PENNY.

MACK.... Did you just stick your Name Tag on Sarge's BUTT???

Now... where was I ... Oh, yes...

Blogville has strict TERM LIMITS .. for Mayor one can only EVER be mayor TWICE and each term of office is fur ONE (1) year. THAT my furends means that TODAY I am announcing my intention to RUN FUR MAYOR... fur my Second... and FINAL time.
Running fur ANY PAWlitical Office is some serious bidness. One must have some very impawtant issues taken into consideration before making the final decision to Run. We will be discussing the Mostest imPAWtant of those.. a bit later butt the FURST thingy One MUST have is the total suPAWt of Ones FAMILY. Let me say right away that MY Wives (YOUR Furst Ladies) have given my re-election camPAIN.. their Paws Up. The Furter Pack is all about Service to OUR Community.

Excuse me... Ummmm SHAWNEE ?? Yes Dear, I'm wondering why it is you are runnin UP and DOWN the Steps all the time? What.. Oh. Well, YES they are STEEP and they Would kinda be like climbing one of the mountains that you LOVE to take us climbing on... butt there are no grrreat seeniks here in the lecture hall. I'm just sayin girrrrrl.


I would like to begin this class by answering TWO questions submitted by: Let me check my notes here.. a Pawlitician should ALWAYS check his/her FACTS before SPEAKING...


Ah YES... just as I thought.. these questions were from William the Scot.



1. What is the difference between a Grass Roots MOVEMENT and Astro Turf?



Excellent question, William. The difference is.. with a Grass Roots Movement... you Poop in the Yard. With Astro Turf... you find that on porches and decks.. and poop there. I(Frankie Furter) find that Pooping on the Roots of the Grass preferable.


2. Is every Dog/Cat going to get a Chicken in Every Pot? Another timely question and quite easy to answer. NO! After the recent and EVIL Squirrelism of the Blogville POOLS... I am going to work to ensure a SQUIRREL in every pot. BUTT that is NOT a PAWmise.

I suppose that MOST of you signed up fur this class beclaws you are interested in Helping somebuddy with THEIR camPAIN or ..... RUNNING One of Your OWN. Is that Right?????? After you have made sure your Family is ON BOARD you must start considering HOW TO GET FurFolks to ACTUALLY VOTE fur you. In other words... you've Gotta Get Your NAME OUT THERE.... and I'm NOT tawkin havin your mom or dad out there SCREAMIN fur you to COME!! Nope not that at all. You have to have a Voter... SEE and HEAR your NAME AT LEAST EIGHTY SEVEN (87) times... fur them to remember it. And HOW will you be doin THAT you wonder!! EASY PEASY... FURST you gotta get out and GIVE FurFolks STUFFS. YES, You GOTTA have some GRRRRREAT STUFFS to Pass OUT as your are Pressin PAWS on the CamPAIN Trail!! I see all of you out there SCRATCHIN your Butts right now. Wonderin WHAT is this guy tawkin about here? I can't be giving all MY stuffs away. NOT to worry... CamPAIN Giveaway stuffs are thingys that you gotta BUY and then give away.




RUBY...... stop Winkin at me, I'm having trouble thinkin.


Ummmmm Uji and Bertie need to STOP Squeakin those Stuffies... other furFolks can't hear over all that. THANKS Fellas... YES... you MAY Rip their Guts out.. QUIETLY, please.


Could somebuddy get the Lights... I have some Overheads of PAWsible Give Away thingys... LIGHTS OFF please.. OK THANKS!!


HEY......... You two in the second Row.... I can see you... DEX and LOU... you two STOP sniffin your neighbors!!! Sheeesh.. I can't believe such Pupish behavior.



Let's see what we have here on this furst overhead...







Look at these examples Carefully everybuddy. You gotta have stuffs that is WANTED and that will make the VOTER REMEMBER you as a GENEROUS PAWlitian. You MUST have YOUR NAME... and perhaps your SCENT on EVERYTHING you give away.









AND you have to have stuffs fur ALL ages and All SIZES and All INTERESTS. Stuffs like Bones and STICKS and Balls.

You MUST be SURE that you have Give Away stuffs that is aPAWpreeut fur ALL PAWsible VOTERS...









Now I am sure you are wondering WHERE you are supposed to go to GIVE the stuffs away.









Well, you gotta get yourself into EVERY PAWrade. and you walk along Waggin and Passing out your give aways along the entire route. You gotta get yourself invited to LOTS of Dinners of all sorts... like the Annual Feline Society Cat FISH Fry and Cheese tasting. Fur THAT audience I wouldn't take the same GIVE AWAY stuffs as to a meeting of the K-9 Zoomer Lodge.




KNOW YOUR AUDIENCE!!! Speakin of KNOWING your audience.. MACK... I need for you to come to the front of the class. Please write On the Chalkboard : I will not show my Teefs at my neighbors... 87 times





They will appreciate that you KNOW and UNDERSTAND their Wants and Needs.




And they will REMEMBER YOU on Election DAY!! Speaking of remembering thingys... Benny did you REMIND Lily that we are not supposed to make pee pee in the lecture hall???
Socks and Artemisia {{Sigh}} settle DOWN. I will be More than glad to give you a couple of Give Aways.... AFTER CLASS... IF IF you stop that Yowlin and be patient. {{SIGH, I just KNEW I should have scheduled MY class AFTER Pip's P.E. (pee everywhere) class so that you would all be worn out and ready to LISTEN.}}}




Yes indeed you gotta get your NAME out there and REMEMBERED and one of the best ways is by giving away grrrreat FREE Stuffs.









********************************************************


The NEXT thingys that you MUST have are.... SIGNS !!


YES INDEED... SIGNS are Very much imPAWtant fur ANY election. Furst beclaws we all LOVE a good Sign... RIGHT?? I mean they are soooooo handy fur peeing on and all. BUTT they are also grrrreat fur THANKING Your Voting PAWbLICK fur their suPAWt... past and future.



A Good Quality Sign is worth its weight in Milkbones.
See what I mean about QUALITY... don't try to save money on your SIGNS. I put a BUNDLE in mine... as you can tell.




THESE are just SOME of the SIGNS that I (Frankie Furter fur Mayor) have used.



So NOW you are askin..... Where is this guy comin from... I can NOT afford all those FREE GIVE AWAY THINGYS AND SIGNS too!! How will I ever get Elected if I can't afford those two??? NOT TO Worry. THAT is something I am here to tell you about... HOW TO FUNd your CamPAIN.





Sammy Andy and Shelly... I don't think your neighbors can Hear me over your Purrrring. Could you hold it down a bit?


Now I am very much lucky to have a WONDERFUL Corporate sPAWnsor. Lucy Pays fur all my GIVE AWAYS and my SIGNS. YES SHE DOES!! I couldn't do it without her help. AND all I have to do is.... MENTION that she has... HUNDREDS of AVON PAWducts fur sale. Stuffs like Furs Colors and Spot Removers and a NEW PAWduct... GAS BE GONE.



Shop Lucy's Avon fur all your PAWsonal Needs.




Now if we can wake Pip Sarge Oskar and Shiver up... we will take our BREAK... Remember there is Chicken Stew and all the Pupsi Coola PAWducts you can eat and drink.. Right outside the Main Door.





I (MAYOR, Frankie Furter) will RESUME my PAWly Sigh CLASS.... PAWptly after Pip's P.E. class and NAP TIME. Please be sure to Pee before you come back in. I'm just sayin.





Don't furget to go to Crossed Paws and get your BARGAIN PRICED Sand-Script messages ordered... AND Buy a SLURP or two also...... My Re-election Crew is puttin up a SMALL Prize fur the the lucky one who GETS the Most SLURPS!!!! Lay on some Slurps and Let your Message be Seen!!! I'm just sayin.




To find links to ALL of the Activities go to one of these blogs:








OR










34 comments:

Sugar the Golden Retriever said...

Woof! Woof! Golden Hello Frankie ... Great way to announce your re-election. Golden Laughs on what you said that a "sign" is handy for peeing. Looking forward for the next PAWlitical Class. Lots of Golden Woofs, Sugar

FYI: did you get the code to insert in your blog. Golden Woofs

Schnauzer Days said...

Blimey O Riley - we didn't know school was gonns be THIS hard...so much information, we have been taking notes though and will get our PA to type them up later. I don't want to dob on anyone but I think Louis and Tessa sat at the back of the class for one reason only - know what I'm saying?? Rubie and I are trying to control them but you know what these youngsters are like. Right off to leave a few pee mails now before the Pipsters class, Dex xxx

Wyatt said...

This is a lot of info for my furry brain to absorb...but you have my vote Mayor Frankie!! Squirrels and Milkbones for all!!

Wyatt

Momma Tea (also Ronnii and Uji whose open ids wont work) said...

Yoo has mi votes Mr Mayor an mee is most sorry bouts squeekin stuffies butts dem is just so squeekable mee pawmiss wee will try n nots do it at da next class
Luv
Uji
x

Roo said...

Hardy Har Har Har! Best durn pawlitical claws I ever sat in on Frankie :D Too funny! You have my vote already butt feel free to send some stuffs my way anywho ;)

Waggin at ya,
Roo

Ms. ~K said...

This is great!!!!
Can you hear us laughing?
xoxo

♥♥♥ The OP Pack ♥♥♥ said...

Great lesson, FRankie. We had to take so many notes we may not have enough paper left for our signs. Phantom, wake up, we have work to do. And Lightning, those papers are not for peeing on - those are our very important notes.

We would definitely vote you in for a second term, and we might have to have you give another lesson on how we can change the rules on term limits - you so deserve more than two measly terms.

Woos ~ Phantom, Thunder, Ciara, and Lightning

K9 Katastrophie said...

Hi Frankie, We are having a good time in your class!

Licks,
Ruthie

road-dog-tales said...

Whew! That's a lot of polly sigh stuff to think about. We think we're just gonna let YOU, Frankie, do all the running for office and WE will just do all the playing in the pond! Looking forward to the next lecture!

The Road Dogs

Sarge said...

Hey Frankie!
Wow, this was one amazing lecture! I pawmise I was awake, but I did have to take a minute to unstick that nametag...must have been on with superglue 'cause I might have a little bald spot for the pawm tonight! BOL Love the giveaways...I'd take a few of those biggest sticks!
Grr and Woof,
Sarge, Supreme Munk Mocker

Jazzi said...

What a fun class, good thing I signe dup fur this one BOL Good info fur running and I think you make the bestest mayor!

wags
jazzi

SAS....Sammy, Andy and Shelly said...

Frankie, you definitely have our votes!!!!!!!!!!! Loved your class, and of course we love you!!!!

xxxxxxx

ArtemisiaFSS said...

Thanks for teaching the class, so this is what youngest boy bean is learning in college (he is minoring in pawlitical science) and now we are all ready to help our Daddy with is campaign. He is running for Supervisor of Jackson County, MS District 4.

PS: We will try to make Artemisia and Socks behave for the rest of the class.

Pibble said...

What do you mean "FINAL" re-election?! What will we do without you as our distinguished mayor keeping those squirrels in line!

Now, we have to go outside to pee... If you'll excuse us, sir! :)

Beans4Biscuits said...

We weren't signed up for your class Franikie.....so we spied in from the hallway outside!!!! (cheaters we are)

Butter wanted to run for a pawlitical office but no he is havin' 2 extra thoughts 'cause he is not wanting to give away all his stuffs!

Off for a naps to rest our brain from all this secretive learnings

Sugar the Who

Tessa the Maltese said...

Oh yea BIG Bro I will vote for you, why didn't you just ask? What Louis? Oh, ah we will be back for the 2nd half of your class cause ah, ah, Pawly sigh is very impawtent. Yah, ya think he believed that Louis?

woos, your very supportive lil sis, Tessa

Ruby and Penny said...

Frank
Great class. We are really learning alot about how to help you get re-elected.
Love ya
Ruby & Penny

houndstooth said...

I had no idea so many pups took this campaign business so seriously! I think I might just remain Princess of All She Surveys and stick with monarchy instead of this democracy business!

Bunny

Benny and Lily said...

Oh Frankie it sounds like a little campaigning going on, BOL. You are a great lecturer, teacher. WhoooAAA!!!!
Benny & Lily

Dory and the Mama said...

What a most WONDERFUL class Frankie...we are most certain you will have OUR vote!!

Smileys!
Dory, Jakey and Bilbo

Sweet William The Scot said...

Well since now I know for sure your affiliated with the grass roots party, I will be voting for your re-election. You know Fala Roosevelt served for 12 years 42 days. I know you could serve for 12 years 87 days. Hey what hooligan stuck the gum on my butt!!
Sweet William The Scot

Asta said...

Pwofessow Mayow Fwankie

This is the most difficult subject and I have fwankly nevew like paw lee ticks, what wif all the gwaft and backpawing going on, but wif a candidate like you, it all becomes intewesting and wowf while.

I'm glad you awe not making un weasonabull powomises (like the west do)
youw advice stwategies fow wunning awe invalloabull, but i still wish you could wun evewy time and not just fow two tewms ..can't we change the laws?
just wondewin..I'm off fow a lunch bwweak and quick peepee
see you latew
smoochie kisses
ASTA

Amber DaWeenie said...

Hi Fwank...Well me be sittin here tryin' to be as paw-lit-icale and scientifically correct as pawsible. Now....scientifcally SPEAKing, is we speakin hooman years or dog years. In dog years, you has 6 more to go bee-4 da next election. Den you can serves for 7 more years...total of 13 more years. How bout dat for paw-lit-icale scientifically correct?

littlemissjackie said...

Gracious, Mr. Frankie, what a lot of impawtant informashuns! Mom says if I ever want to run for any pawlitical office I'd better get to work selling things in my Etsy store to get fundage for all those cool signs and giveaway thingies! You definitely have our vote for mayor for next year, you sure do know your stuffs!

Barks and proper pawlitical wiggles,

Jackie

Mr. Pip said...

So sorry I am late ...yes, I do have a note from my mom explaining my tardiness. You see my mom and I were out on a rescue mission this morning (seriously) an injured cat appeared in our yard and we are trying to help him. I took a quick break to pop in for some free stuff - I will take some milkbones, please.

Your pal, Pip

Boondocks and The Love Shack Pack said...

Very educmacational!! So glad we signed up for this course. Unfortuantely Golden Retrievers make horrible politicians as we like to gowith the flow and please everyone!!

AROOOOF!
Boondocks & The Love Shack Pack

STELLA from Down Under said...

Hello Mr Frankie, my gosh I thought pawlitics would be boring but that's not true. You have made it very interesting for sure. Especially the bit about giving away treats. That sounds heaps good. I'm sorry I didn't sign up but your note taking is excellent. My mum has been laughing but I don't know why. I didn't think pawlitics was a funny subject. No worries (and Vote for Mr Frankie), and love, Stella

Sagira said...

You sure do know your stuff Frankie.

Frankie, I think I met your sister today. I took a photo and will post tomorrow. Her name was Bella.

sprinkles said...

I didn't realize that terms of office in Blogville was only a year. I know you'll win the re-election because you've done such an excellent job but I just can't imagine someone else taking over. It makes me sad to think of anyone but you doing mayor duties.

See, I'm already learning stuffs!

♥Mona + Weenie + Mommy, too♥ said...

YOU GOT POUR VOTE!! ~ !! Frankie

We agree with The OP Pack, two years is just not enough time to have you asBlogville's leader.

{{{huggies}}}...Mona & Weenie

NORWOOD UNLEASHED said...

Frankie Frankie Frankie Frankie Frankie Frankie

I think I got the lesson- right?
norwood

Kari in Vegas said...

I think we got this lesson ;)

Kari
http://dogisgodinreverse.com

Oskar said...

Oh Frankie I think you're doing great handling the class. Excellent demonstrations!

Nubbin wiggles,
Oskar

Mack said...

I am ALWAYS gettin in trouble for wanting to bite the neighbor kids! Mom says she is gonna put me in reform school!