Saturday, April 2, 2011

Better go PEE and stuff before you read about...

This post is dedicated to my Pal PIP... who is suffering with his mom going CRAZY with letting VACULA out... every 87 minutes or something. Poor guy is about beside himself with this HORROR!!! So over the last few weeks I have seen a HOOOOOOGE number of blogs talking about VACULA. You have been telling that you are Scared of him. You have been telling how you Chase him. You have said that you Bark on him. SOME of you have even told that you BITE Vacula. None of you have said that you LIKE him though... and I am really glad about that! Now here is the thingy about VACULA... he has about 87 million TWINS. They seem to be EVERYWHERE... in almost EVERYBUDDY's Homes!!! I think they may only live in homes where there are Dawgs or pawsibly Cats. I COULD be wrong about this... butt that's OK. The only thingy I am sure of is that..... VACULA SCARES THE FURS OFF ME..(Frankie Furter). When he escapes from his DEN... I RUN to the DEN which is down the steps... and THAT is the KEY thingy you gotta REMEMBER!!! OK... HERE you go... a PICTURE of VACULA. AiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! Holy Gwalk A Moley... I KNEW it was coming and it still scared a little turd out of me!!! I'll be right back...


Just look at that EVIL Face...... That is the stuffs that Night Mares are made of.


Vacula eats STUFF... Like Toys and Dawgs and Snack Crumbs. Aiiiiiiiiieeeeeee I'll be back in a few......



Whew... I made it out... just in time.


Now this is Vacula's DEN. Look at that HOOOOOGE LONG tail thingy. He sticks it in the WALL and then he goes CRAZY... That is when he is on the HUNT fur STUFFS to EAT. {{{Shiver}}}

Now I am gonna tell you this very much impawtant VACULAS Can NOT go up and down STAIRS... SOOOOOO if you want to get away... Where it is safe fur you... HEAD FUR THE STAIRS... go as FAST as you can... like you are being chased by a bunch of Squirrels on Steroids.

He even has his SON... In there with him... Baby VACULA... See him... He has a LONG snout ...almost as long as his tail... He can't stand up yet... And he hasn't got his real color either.

VACULA You get back in your DEN ... and STAY there!!
There you have it.... the Real Vacula Information.

PeeS... I hope that Pip's Mom sees this and realizes that the Insane VACULA Attacks MUST be STOPPED...

31 comments:

Mango said...

I only object to that monster because momma bashes me with it to get me to move. How rude. Of course the pea attacks it which evokes HBO words from the DOH.

Slobbers,
Mango

scotsmad said...

We don't have stairs.......so we go outside until it calms down.

XXXOOO Daisy, kendra & Bella

Pepsi the Lazy Bum said...

Very informative about the Vacula. I only have a baby one here, and it's not very threatening. I do go up the stairs when it comes near me though. Hehe

Woofs
Pepsi

Khyra And Sometimes Her Mom said...

I don't mind the Duke of Dyson that lives here BUT the Sharkette makes me bark!

Hugz&Khysses,
Khyra

Roo said...

That is one mean lookin Vacula! I never seem to know whether to attack or run ? So, sometimes I do both ;)

Roo

Mr. Pip said...

Thank you SO MUCH Frankie. I thought I was the only one terrorized by the vacula beast! So good to know that I am not alone ...

The one little problem is I am not so good on stairs. I have taken to hiding under the bed, BUT sometimes the vacula finds me there and sticks it's various attachments under the bed. The kitties and I hug the walls and wait for him to move on to the next room.

Unfortunately, my mom has vacula glasses on and thinks he can do no harm. She has even take to ...vacuuming the couch ...with me on it!!!!

Your pal, Pip

Sarge said...

Hey Frankie!
Wow, very interesting post. I sorta understand how everyone feels. Remember a few weeks ago I posted the video of me chasing the mop...yeah I do the same with the Vac-o-death. I try to kill it!
(I ain't skeert!) Anyway, mine doesn't look quite as scary as yours so that may be why I can get by with being attack-Sarge!
Grr and a Sweeping Woof,
Sarge, COP

Sagira said...

Oh no! Vacula sure does look awful scary.

♥♥♥ The OP Pack ♥♥♥ said...

Frankie, we have a Vacula on all three levels here - so the Momster doesn't have to carry them up and down those stairs - you would think by now Vacula would have gotten the hang of stair climbing.

None of us is very scared of the vaculas, but we just get out of the way - they are very loud. We have two purple ones and one sort of drab gray. No matter the color, they are all very LOUD!

Hope the Vacula stays in their closets for the weekend.

Woos ~ Phantom, Thunder, and Ciara

Shawnee the Shepherd said...

This post woz pawticularly hard fur me to read coz it do be so furry skeery. I is still shaking. We has a Dyson with supah sucking powahs and it only be a matter of time afore it noms me up. We fostered a kitteh once wot LOVED the Vacula and let the Valula suck furs right off of herself with it's long snooter! YIKES! This kitteh woz deaf so she could not hear the furocious monster snarly sounds the Vacula makes. I think the Vacula preys on the weakest furst. That kitteh do be gone now. I wonner to where.....

Lola and also Franklin, too said...

We don't like Vacula one bit! And I, Lola, am not scared of too much. Franklin gets a bit skittish about lots of things, but not me. Except Vacula. The trouble is, we can't always get to the stairs. We only have the basement ones and the ones to Alpha Mom's apartment upstairs and sometimes the doors to them are closed. We'll have to see if we can do something about that, because if you can get to your stairs it's a very good tip. Thank you, Frankie.

the booker man said...

mr. frankie,

your vacula and mini vacula must be related to mine! egads! me 'n asa hate those thingies so much, and we don't even have stairs at our house to escape!! asa goes and hides out in her crate, and i just pace in another room where the vacula is not!!

*woof*
the booker man

Stella said...

Did you say there are 87 gazillion Vaculas? Do they, uh, reproduce?

We gotta do something about this, Mayor Frankie. My fearless cousin told me to take my toofies and pull the plug out of the wall. But its no use, Mom just plugs it up again. Besides its to scary to do that.

We need a plan, Frankie, bad!

Kisses,
Stella

Wyatt said...

We have the bride of Vacula over here. We'd rather live knee high in dust bunnies, then see her face!!

Wyatt and Stanzie

houndstooth said...

Oh my! Your Vacula has a much scarier face than ours does! Ours has a name, Dyson, and we all dislike him immensely. Last year, Mom actually got it out and used the sucker nose on it and sucked Lilac's furs right off of her body! I had nightmares about it for weeks. I still think I might need therapy after seeing that!

Bunny

Oskar said...

Frankie I attack that beastie every chance it get, but then it tries to suck off my woozle furs!!!

You're right, they need to be stopped.

Nubbin wiggles,
Oskar

Kari in WeHo said...

my three are lucky that our apartment is all tile so we just sweep and mop!

Kari
http://dogisgodinreverse.com

Jazzi said...

Oh I know those vaculas are everywhere!! Me and Addy HATE it and I bark my crazy head off, and we both attack it and try to kill it!! We have the bitemarks to prove it, well, actually 99% of the bitemarks are mine cuz I have been here longer!! Mom never lets us kill it, you would think that she would appreciate it but she said if we do, she just has to go and get nother one!! AHhhhh Yes, Stay AWAY from the vacula!!! They are bad news!!

wags
Jazzi

rottrover said...

Oh Frankie!! We hate the inside vacula, too, but our dad has an outside one and we love to be vacuumed when we're shedding. Feels so good; but we don't have the long furs like you. Don't let it near you Frankie!! We're glad you've developed a strategy to deal with this evil monster!!

Sawyer the Schnauzer said...

hahhahah...Oh, Frankie! You are so funny! There's no reason to be afraid!

Sawyer likes to be in her crate when Vacula is out. She feels very safe there!

♥MONA + MOMMY TOO♥ said...

Frankie!!

WE don't got a Vacula loose in our house cause it's all ceramic tile.

Wanna come stay with us whenever it comes out? Your welcome anytime.

{{{huggies}}}....Mona & Weenie too!!

The Teacher's Pets said...

Hey there! It's the cat brothers, Henry and Buster, and we are here to tell you that Vaculas do live with cats! We always run to the highest pawsible spots to escape from that scary monster butt we have warnings before the monster starts making loud noises which is nice butt still...do humans really have to use that torture device in the furst place?

Tessa the Maltese said...

OMD I cannot believe you BOYS! I thought you were all big brave dowgs! But NOooooooo you are all afraid of the Vacula?

Oh Please. It's just loud!

When it does suck up my toys it's funny to see Mels face get red saying the HBO words! BOL

Try to bark at it next time.

woo woos, Tessa

♥ Sallie said...

LOL! That is hysterical!

Hugs,

Lorenza said...

Hi, Frankie!
Today I had a close encounter with the orange monster here!
I could not go very far away... but my balcony was a good place to feel safe!
Hmmm....
Kisses and hugs
Lorenza

Jazzi said...

No e-mail yet. Hopefully soon!

wags
Jazzi

Benny and Lily said...

now thats a monster
Benny & Lily

Yoda_the_Dog said...

Good to know about the stairs but I think Vacula's son can do the stairs some. Mom had a dog a long time ago who attacked Vacula. The Vacula at their house had teeth marks on its face. That Skipper was a brave dog but he is at the bridge and now I am wondering how that might have come about .... now I am even more scared!

Trixie, Lily, and Sammy-Joe said...

We don't understand why Gramma always gets Vacula out of his den when she comes home from work. Keep him in there! Even Mama gets him out once in a while... but we think she is just as scared of him as we are, cuz she tries to avoid him! When he's out, we bark at the top of our lungs!

road-dog-tales said...

haha Frankie - we have your Vacula's evil twin at our house! In fact, there's so much fur around our house that we've had about 87 (i.e. 4 or 5) of those same Vaculas! We wreck 'em and Mom & Dad just buy more!

The Road Dogs

Amber DaWeenie said...

I am fierce....I am mighty....I will fight Vacula to da ends of da earth. I will win. Now I will go take a nap.